Surviving

[SkyIsFalling42]

Surviving



Written for those that have suffered extreme abuse and who are having a difficult time recovering from exploitive, soul-damaging situations.

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Surviving the Emergency Stage

The important thing to remember is that the emergency stage is a natural part of the healing process and that it will come to an end. The nature of crisis is that it overwhelms you; while you are in it, it is all you can see. There will be a time, though, when you will not think, eat, and dream abuse twenty four hours a day. And, if you are in the emergency stage, that time cannot come a moment too soon. In these times of crisis it is very important that you act on what you know rather than what you feel.

Remember:

Don't hurt or try to kill yourself

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Even though you may not be able to see it, there is a way out. During crisis your vision may become clouded. Suicide and self harm are never good answers to any problem. Reach out for help from someone who will listen and can help you put things back into perspective. You are valuable and you do have purpose. (Psalm 139)

Realize that you are not going crazy

The intensity of what you are experiencing is a recognized part of the healing process. Don't be afraid of letting yourself feel your emotions. They won't kill you.

Find others you can talk to

Don't try to do this alone. Abuse has isolated you enough already. Learn to develop relationships with others and to receive comfort from them. Remember that you are valuable and that you also have a lot to offer to others. What you have been through can give you a unique compassion.

Get skilled professional support

Seek out a therapist who is experienced in dealing with abuse issues and with whom you are comfortable. Don't hesitate to phone him/her when you need to.

Simplify your life

Drop whatever is inessential. Release the pressure any way you can. This may mean minimizing time with unsupportive people, quitting activities, lightening your workload and getting extra childcare.

Create a safe area in your home

You must have at least one place where you feel safe. Do what you can to make that place a pleasant place to be.

Avoid drugs and alcohol

Repeatedly numbing your feelings will only prolong the crisis. Using drugs and alcohol improperly also puts you at risk for developing an addiction.

Get out of abusive situations

If you are currently in a situation where you are being abused, get out of it.

Avoid making big decisions right now.

Your decision-making capability is limited right now. Except for getting out of abusive situations, the emergency stage is not a good time for making major life changes.

Look to Jesus

He alone can comfort you the way you truly need to be comforted. Turning to Him helps to put everything into perspective. You are part of a bigger picture. He can revive you and give you the strength to keep going. His guidance is priceless!! (Note: Those who were involved with WCG or many of its splinters were taught a false view of Jesus as harsh and expecting performance. The true Jesus is completely different. He loves you and desires for you to come to Him for rest. Matt.11:28-30)

This too shall pass

Remember: "And it came to pass..." It did not come to stay. You will not always feel this way. There is "the other side." You have a promising future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Specific Survival Techniques

Sometimes you need practical techniques for surviving the pain and intense emotion you're feeling right now. Here are some suggestions:

Grounding

Use all of your senses. Stay in the present. Focus on breathing. Move your eyes. Remember that any self-harm messages are lies.

Anger Work

Connect safely with anger. Healthy anger can decrease the despair that you may be feeling. It may also heighten your coping skills. Too often this tool is under-utilized.

Grief Work

Shedding tears reduces hopelessness and depression. Let yourself cry. You won't cry forever. Eventually the tears will stop and you'll feel much stronger for having released the pain through the tears. (Psalm 126:5)

Take Care of the Basics

Make sure you are taking care of yourself. Pay attention to your body's needs. Get plenty of sleep, but avoid using sleep to escape from dealing with abuse. You'll feel better about yourself in the long run. The same is true of food. Make sure you are getting enough to eat, but avoid using food to numb your feelings. The sooner you process those feelings rather than avoiding them, the sooner you may experience true healing from the memories. Take care of your body in other ways too. Don't neglect your personal hygiene (i.e. brushing your teeth). Exercise is also helpful, but don't overdo it. Everything in moderation.

Grounding Techniques

1. Find a safe place

2. Visualize setting aside an overwhelming memory or emotion.

3. Pay attention to current sensory experience. For example, take notice of a particular smell or sound that. is going on right now. This helps to orient you to the present.

Sight: Take a walk or read a book

Touch: Hold ice or hug a stuffed animal

Sound: Listen to music or watch TV

Taste: Eat something or have a piece of candy.

Smell: Smell something with a strong aroma like perfume or
ammonia.

4. Tell someone about it.

5. Write in a personal journal. Journaling helps to process the intrusive, painful thoughts that you are struggling with.

6. Practice breathing exercises. Controlled breathing will relax the body during a panic attack. Count to four as you take a slow, deep breath, then release it in a slower, controlled exhalation to the count of eight and repeat this for several cycles. This will help if you are breathing fast or holding your breath.

7. Wrap a blanket around yourself, up to your neck and lie or sit down. This can give a snuggly feeling of security.

8. Connect with the here and now.

9. Listen to a tape or CD of relaxing music.1

10. Listen to inspirational music. This will not only help you to orient yourself, but it helps you realize God's presence.2

11. Pray outloud. [If you feel you have specific spiritual strongholds, go to Prayers for Freedom From Spiritual Strongholds.]

12. Take a shower or bath.

13. Make a list of problems and separate them into two categories: those you have control over, and those you don't. Concentrate only on those you can control. Be realistic.

14. Decide what is important and what is not.

15. Monitor self-talk. Challenge distorted thinking.

16. Do something nice for yourself (buy yourself something, read a book, etc.)

17. Draw or write poetry.

18. Take a walk.

18. Identify the trigger.



Remember, in life threatening emergencies to call 911. The bottom line is to stay safe. You are not alone!!!





1Solitudes music cassettes and CD's have been found very helpful. Visit http://www.solitudes.com and click on the category you are interested in.

2Others have found comfort in listening to classic hymns or in reading through the words: Comfort in Music (no audio)



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Thought-Stopping and Thought-Switching (to help control panic)

Coping With Flashbacks

Prayers for Freedom From Spiritual Strongholds (Effective in gaining deliverance from spiritual strongholds and oppressions due to involvement in any harmful cult or occult practices)

Recovery From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse (many articles)

Resources For Panic/Addictions

Understanding and Overcoming Your Panic and Anxiety Cycle (Link offsite)

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Very good Sky, Thanks