"But what if!"

[windsurfer33]

Hi All,
I usually post on the newcombers to addiction page, but I have an on going problem with anxiety and thought I would share it with you. When I feel the on set of anxiety, I get a feeling of dread coming over me. I start to worry about things that I know I shouldn`t. I will latch onto something then continue to worry about that thing for days, this then will manifest itself into something that isn't real. I constantly say to myself "but what if". God I sound like a complete crazy!
But the worry is like picking a scab, the more you do it the worse it becomes and longer it takes to heal.
I know that these feelings will go away in a few days and I will look back and maybe laugh at how stupid I was, but while I am here in the darkness that seems a long way away.

Does anyone else have the same type of feelings?
I know that talking helps and would love to talk to anyone.
Kind regards

[nandm]

Welcome to the Mental health forum.

When I read your post it made me wonder when you quit drinking. I say this because my anxiety increased when I quit drinking. It is really common for that to happen. When the alcohol is taken away it is like an anxiety buffer has been removed, leaving nothing between us and the anxiety. The good news is that it does get better. For some it is a couple of months for others it is up to a year.

If you work the program of AA, I would suggest getting going on the Steps as they are a great tool to help manage anxiety. You might even consider seeing a therapist during this time. I needed to work the Steps, get a therapist, and start medication to deal with my anxiety as although mine got better at about 6 or 8 months it never completely went away. Then it started really getting bad at about 3 years sober, so now at nearly 7 years sober I am dealing with PTSD issues (anxiety for me is related to that), acute anxiety disorder, and depression.

Even with all that though I do not regret getting sober, as even if I was drinking sooner or later all this would have caught up with me and I would not have had any tools to even start to deal with it. My life today is good.

[adore79]

Yeah windsurfer, I feel that way sometimes. In certain social situations my heart will start beating rapidly, untill it is all I can hear, and my blood pressure will get all messed up. I am on ativan for anxiety and it helps a lot. Also, learning breathing exercises helps to regulate your heartbeat.
*hugs* and <3.

[mike_mass]

My experienceis that most addicted people are anxiety prone. I have found the following to be helpful in curbing it:

- stay sober (#1, absolutely most important)
- avoid caffeine
- avoid carbs (especially C-A-N-D-Y)
- get enough sleep
- learn to breath more effectively (Zen meditation has helped me here)
- avoid stressful situations as much as possible
- watch mindless comedy and enjoy the company of NICE friends (those who don't want to one up you)

[justjo]

Hello.
If you continue to "but what if" all your life what have you achieved. The possibility that the "something" may/could happen is an assumption we use as an excuse to not make a decision. (just my opinion)
I understand anxiety as I have had times when I didnt want to face the world.
I have learnt to talk through things with myself though.
the "what if" is not reality
it is assuming something. Assuming is not real.

If one of my kids said to me. 'What if I miss the bus'? There will be another bus. 'What if the car breaks down'? It can always be repaired.
'What if she doesnt like me' There will always be someone who will like you.

[jfk45]

Originally Posted by windsurfer33

Hi All,
I usually post on the newcombers to addiction page, but I have an on going problem with anxiety and thought I would share it with you. When I feel the on set of anxiety, I get a feeling of dread coming over me. I start to worry about things that I know I shouldn`t. I will latch onto something then continue to worry about that thing for days, this then will manifest itself into something that isn't real. I constantly say to myself "but what if". God I sound like a complete crazy!
But the worry is like picking a scab, the more you do it the worse it becomes and longer it takes to heal.
I know that these feelings will go away in a few days and I will look back and maybe laugh at how stupid I was, but while I am here in the darkness that seems a long way away.

Does anyone else have the same type of feelings?
I know that talking helps and would love to talk to anyone.
Kind regards

I had terrible "what if" thinking for a while. Like what if I go crazy or what if I have a panic attack in this place and have to leave, what if I do this or that to this person. Then I would be like "I'll feel better when I get to the safe place (home, a hospital etc..)" then I feel better when I get there, because I told myself I would. One thing that worked and still works is that I just tell myself, there is no safe place, no safe person, this place is no different than any other place and I can be calm here just as much as any other place. The thoughts are just that, thoughts. My thoughts are no crazier than anyone elses. You say you feel better after a few days because you tell yourself you will feel better after a few days. How about telling yourself, I feel better now and go on with your day, it takes a little practice but you can do it.