How are you feeling?

[Introvrtd1]

Right now, I feel out kinda out of control. Like the panic/anxiety is getting the best of me.

I've coped with this many times before. Its just that once its upon me, its hard to rationalize what is really happening. Easier said than done.

Once it passes (and I know it will), I feel kinda silly to have doubted.

Right now, I am feeling like I want to run out and go crazy. Its that feeling of thinking I will lose control or pass out. Anxiety/panic is thru the roof. On a scale of 1-10, Im a 12.

Its a wonder Im able to sit here and type. I've been pacing the floor for about an hour.

I'll calm down soon. Im just venting.

Wish me luck.

[Lilya]

Intro, hold on tight...

I´m sending you some strength to cope and I know you will.

Have you tried writing down on a piece of paper some words describing what is going on deep down and then some strategy to cope with it?

Some shrinks think if you can pinpoint a thought when you´re really depressed or really anxious, it can be very useful.

For my part, I´m exhausted after this week-end, but my mind is awake. I´m sending you some good thoughts.

Love and light,

[bluenena]

Hang in there Intro, you are in my prayers.

[kelsh]

Hi Intro,

I have had both anxiety attacks and panic attacks....but the anxiety outweighs the panic attacks.

I continued to have anxiety a long time after I quit drinking. I have taken Xanax for it but now have changed to Lexapro with my Effexor XR and my anxiety has been less and less as time goes by. :comfort

I have reduced my Xanax from 1 Mg. three x a day to 0.5 Mg every six hours prn. The Lexapro addesses my Serotonin and also the Effexor does this and in turn my anxiety is helped. Don't ask me why but now I have more motivation, energy, interest in activities of daily living, better sleep, and brighter moods more days than not.

I can remember being like you are feeling now and not knowing even why I felt the way I did. I hated it when it would happen when I was out in public...especially when grocery shopping. My doc would increase my Xanax a week or two and then reduce it back down again to help me while experienceing the anxiety. :comfort

I hope get some relief soon.

kelsh

[Introvrtd1]

Thanks all.

Im at work on another break. Feeling crappy all day. Head was spinning from all the panic/anxiety.

I feel better now. The panic/anxiety has finally passed.

Once again, I made it thru another episode. What a ride!

Right now I have that feeling one gets after confronting great danger.......and surviving when the danger has passed.

Another victory won!!

sigh

[Introvrtd1]

Just after coming home from work, felt some residual panic/anxiety.

Sort of like the little aftershocks after a big earthquake.

Popped some vitamin c and b complex. That usually settles me down.

[Introvrtd1]

Up early again.

No anxiety. Sleep came late, but was fairly decent.

Upon waking, there was that feeling of rest and rejuvination.

Because of waking in a panic for the last couple days, I expected to feel panicky this morn. when I didnt, it somehow didnt feel normal. Sorta like feeling abnormal was the norm.

Feeling calm now.

Deep down, Im looking for the panic/anxiety. Like a train, expecting it to arrive any moment..........

[scarlati]

I've had that feeling before, too, of not feeling normal when I'm NOT anxious. I lived with anxiety for so long that when I started therapy and the anxiety started subsiding I found I was having trouble functioning. Part of that may have been PAWS for me, though.

Are you doing meditation, tai chi, yoga or anything like that? I run and take tai chi and those have both helped me learn to clear my head. My therapist said a lot of my anxiety came from a lack of self confidence, so I took up boxing to help with that and it's worked really well. Now when I start feeling anxious at work if I have a meeting or presentation coming up I just tell myself,"If I can last 3 rounds with someone trying to knock my head off, I'm sure I can sit through this meeting."

[Introvrtd1]

Originally Posted by scarlati

Are you doing meditation, tai chi, yoga or anything like that? I run and take tai chi and those have both helped me learn to clear my head. My therapist said a lot of my anxiety came from a lack of self confidence, so I took up boxing to help with that and it's worked really well. Now when I start feeling anxious at work if I have a meeting or presentation coming up I just tell myself,"If I can last 3 rounds with someone trying to knock my head off, I'm sure I can sit through this meeting."

No tai, yoga. Just plain ole walking or jogging on the treadmill or ride the bike for 30 min, at least 3x per week.

I may need to try some of that meditation therapy.

Problem is, I find it hard to sit still and meditate. I tried it once, it felt like ...."a great disturbance in the force..." feeling.

I guess I dont know how.

I'll do some research. Find out more about it.

[scarlati]

This site has worked wonders for me:


http://www.freehypnosistreatment.com...treatment.html

[Introvrtd1]

Originally Posted by scarlati

This site has worked wonders for me:


http://www.freehypnosistreatment.com...treatment.html

I was all wound up, but wanted to really sleep when I listened to the relaxation tape. It knocked me out cold for a couple of hours, but it felt good.

Thanks.

Intro

[Introvrtd1]

Felt okay when I woke this morning.

Later, panic started to set in. Just like yesterday on a road trip with the family. I felt one coming just before I hit the freeway. Nothing happened. Just the anticipation.

Like now. On the verge of something.

Wanted to sleep some more. Lie down, made it worse. Had to get up.

I'll just give it time....

[Introvrtd1]

Have been fighting a cold since last week.

The congestion, stuffiness, and lack of sleep taking its toll.

Woke up this morn really stuffy, nasal blockage.

Panic/anxiety went thru the roof. Got up outta bed.

Just sitting here reading and posting..............

Want to sleep, but cannot.

sigh

[Lilya]

Sorry to hear that, Intro.

I can relate to the anxiety of being ill. I get panicky when I´m getting a cold.

Be kind to yourself, enjoy the calmness of the night.

Love and light,

[Introvrtd1]

Yesterday, my cold seemed to dissipate, and by nitefall, it seemed 90% gone.

Didnt sleep well thru the nite. What little sleep I did get, woke up with this cold doing a u-turn, and major stuffy-head-nasal-congestion.

Uuuiiaaccck, is how I feel now.

After today is over, I should sleep better, and I expect the cold symptoms to dissipate..............again.

sigh

[Introvrtd1]

At least this cold is finally starting to break.

I stopped taking the cold meds last nite. It will be hard to sleep once again, but when in a few days, I'll be sleeping better again.

Right now, I feel kinda crappy.

Came to work at 430am just sitting in my office, in the dark, reading and posting.

Stomach is also a mess. Feels very upset. I must have had a touch of the flu with that cold, bc I feel really groggy. Malaise.

I must be getting a little better bc the anxiety feels like its coming back. Ha, feeling normal is feeling bad I guess. If/when I ever feel 100% good, it just wont feel right.

Im rambling.

Im shaky.

Im cold.

Im worried.

[GailJ]

:comfort

[Introvrtd1]

11pm. Sleepy.

I'll read and post here a while. Then I'll be knocked out...........until around 2/3/4am, then Im up again.

sigh...

I hope not.

Its like a twilight zone movie I once saw.........

Theres a guy lying on a couch speaking with a psychiatrist.........he says hes afraid to fall asleep. Hes sooooooooo sleepy. He wants more than anything to sleep........but...........he cant. If he does,.............he feels he will never wake up.

Man, Rod Serling had quite an imagination...............or were these movies about things he experienced. I often had my suspicions.

I lie down and as soon as my head hits the pillow...........bam! Im gone.

But a few hours later.........Im up, wide awake. Can no longer sleep.

I turn on my streaming internet radio. Listening to am talk radio. Mostly christian. It soothes me, relaxes and helps me get back to sleep. But even though, my sleep is superficial at that point.

So I go ahead and get up.

My panic/anxiety is fighting to keep its grip on me.

Sure I could go back to drinking.........but that would only set me back. At least I would sleep like a log after a nite of bingeing. Problem is, I would withdraw and feel really like crap by mid morning.

My hands and feet would still tingle well into the day, letting me know my blood alcohol was still high from the night before.

No more of that for me...........Id rather struggle with panic/anxiety. Its the lesser of two evils.

Im determined to beat this...........Im determined to get better...........I will beat this...........I will get better.

.............................................

[Lilya]

:comfort

Love and light,

[Introvrtd1]

Im fine, but Im having one of those days................

[Introvrtd1]

Its been a pretty uneventful week.

Yesterday, like today, has been a little......................

...........hmmmmmm......

kinda zombie-like.

Just going thru the motions and routine.

No real enthusiasm or drive. No real productivity or brightness.

When greeting people its with a very forced smile. No ill-intent,

just......................blaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.

Hoping not to offend anyone who can see right thru me.

sigh.....

[Introvrtd1]

Headed back to the gym the past two weeks.

It definitely makes a difference in attitude and shakes the "blues".

Although during this holiday season, there are plenty of reasons to feel blue.

I notice that a lot of people are generally sad, but smile anyway. Like me.

"Merry Christmas and happy new year" are often said at holiday office parties with little real happiness.

sigh.............I dont know................

I think the older I get, the more life seems to dwindle.

Wow. That is a depressing thought.

I guess I should just "Buck-Up!!"

I watch young people in malls during this holiday season with their whole lives ahead of them. Teenagers and twenty-somethings, smiling laughing, happy.

some of them anyway


I felt the way they did once.

I still feel generally satisfied and happy with my life, its just that now life seems.............plain.

Sure I can seek adventure and excitement by taking a rejuvenating trip around the world, doing crazy things...........but I wont.

For example, im too chicken to sky dive or bungy jump.

I really admire those who can do it.

Anyway, this season, like those before it, and those following years to come, is known for depression, stress, anxiety, and other mood swings.

I just keep in mind that, it'll all be alright.

[Introvrtd1]

Its nearly 4am, and im all wound up.

Anxiety woke me at 130am............sigh

I guess i'll talk to doc about some meds. I been trying to hold out.

This is getting old.........

[GailJ]

Have you tried valerian or saint john's wort? The velarian helped me. Saint John's Wort worked for my dad. 100%Herbal over the counter, two velarians about an hour before bed. (Do not mix with sleeping pills and can OD it taken in large quantities. No caffiene after 5:00pm. "Non 'stressfull' " entertainment and no heavy stress work loads to acomplish just before bed. Food........a good balanced supper at a regular time not too early and not too late helps too.
Venting out my full head on paper by lamplight with a comforting non alcohol beverage in bed helps a lot too.

If all else fails do the do the med thing through doc, seroquels work wonders, if your doc OK's them. I found them much better than ativans for clearing out of your system quickly. Groggy for about one hour in the morning and then gone. Slept like a rock though. Now with me it's the vivid dreaming that wakes me up at night. Wacky non-sensical stuff that doesn't come together at all. Think it's a coming off anxiety med side effect thing. Seems to be dissapating with time.
Hope you are coping well, be kind to yourself.

[Introvrtd1]

Originally Posted by GailJ

Have you tried valerian or saint john's wort? The velarian helped me. Saint John's Wort worked for my dad. 100%Herbal over the counter, two velarians about an hour before bed. (Do not mix with sleeping pills and can OD it taken in large quantities. No caffiene after 5:00pm. "Non 'stressfull' " entertainment and no heavy stress work loads to acomplish just before bed. Food........a good balanced supper at a regular time not too early and not too late helps too.
Venting out my full head on paper by lamplight with a comforting non alcohol beverage in bed helps a lot too.

If all else fails do the do the med thing through doc, seroquels work wonders, if your doc OK's them. I found them much better than ativans for clearing out of your system quickly. Groggy for about one hour in the morning and then gone. Slept like a rock though. Now with me it's the vivid dreaming that wakes me up at night. Wacky non-sensical stuff that doesn't come together at all. Think it's a coming off anxiety med side effect thing. Seems to be dissapating with time.
Hope you are coping well, be kind to yourself.

Regarding the st johns wart. Never tried, but will do so. I always see this stuff on the shelf at our local grocery along with other vitamins.

I already talked to doc by email. Im set up with an appt to get some meds and evaluate.

I have many helpful resources. I just dont use them half the time....

Looks like I better start.