"tough Love" or "Kid Gloves" for daughter's mental illness

[debsjsu]

Thanks so much for the update.. I know that it is hard..but it wont be like this forever...You will be amazed at how she will be when the meds and therapy actually work... It may take a while as I am sure the Dr.'s have explained to you...But you are on the road to a better life for her and you... I will keep praying for you..... Love to ya Debs

[Music]

Originally Posted by miss communicat

you mean, not like ?

this instead? got it! Thanks

((hugs to you! ))

Miss C,
In my opinion, the above is just what "tough love" is, as was suggested by your sponsors. It's obvious your daughter hasn't a clue as to what's good for her, or she does and can't/won't follow through with the decision. Someone(you)has to take control of the situation regardless of what she wants. She may be an adult but you're still her parent. If need be, get a court order to make decisions for her and have her committed to a place where she can be properly cared for. You aren't suited to the task. As you stated, you've become a basket case and that's not good. The Big Book has answers for a lot of problems. Just because it deals mainly with alcohol, doesn't mean we can apply other situations. When my son was drinking and drugging, I read that I should treat his as I would a sick friend. I did that! Sure, he was my son but I had to separate myself from that fact and treat him as I would a neighbor or a casual friend who had the same problem. Take care of yourself and be assured, as I am that you would do, and probably have done all you can to help your daughter. Now it's time for a qualified third party to step in and releave some of the pressure. In the meantime, do what I did. Don't drink, step up the meetings, and call your sponsors every day for an update.

[miss communicat]

Thanks Music.

I really appreciate your ES&H.

I am doing all the things you suggested, including looking into the reasons underlying my need to fix and rescue. Now that I have my peaceful house and life back to myself again, I am recovering emotionally. Yay!.

I am turning her situation over to the more qualified powers that be, and steppping up the meetings/reading/praying.

Take care.

[debsjsu]

That is awsome Miss C.... It is never easy when we are dealing with our own children.. there is so very much emotion tied to them.. My sponsor says I have to detach with love... That was so very hard for me to learn to do.. There was a time I had to pack my 18 yr. old sons belongings and set them outside my back door and tell him he was nolonger welcome in my home.. He was drinking, doing meth and other drugs down stairs in my home bringing people we did not know into our home at all hours of the night, without our permission or knowledge.. He refused to stop this behavior he also refused to accept help for his addictions. For the protection of the other children in my home and spouse, myself, we had no other choice. It was still hard. 2 yrs later he had lost so much weight he looked like a walking skeleton. I heard stories that he was cooking meth. I had a friend that was a DEA agent and he had helped me raise him when he was younger and I was a single parent, so I knew he cared for him and would help me. I told him everything I knew about what my son was doing and ask him to do what ever it took to get him put in jail... I believed at this point that was the only way to save his life... Well he did help me.. I wont go through all the details but today my son has been clean and sober 4 yrs and he tells me if I had not done what I did he would not be alive today.... So be strong do what you have to do ... She may not like it now but later she may thank you for saving her life.. Like my son did.. ( he wasnt happy with me when he went to jail) Take care of yourself like you said you were doing and just keep the faith... I will be praying for you.....