Sexual abuse in AA a serious problem
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
I don't think raising awareness is going to help that much at this point. When you're vulnerable you're vulnerable even when you're aware. Raising awareness has helped parents keep their minor children safer in a lot of cases. Not near enough though.
I work in an organization where the awareness is very high and everyone gets a criminal background check before being able to work with a vulnerable population. The abuse is still tremendous.
I feel your passion leviathon. I'm a victim of sexual assault. My children are victims of sexual assault. Hopefully my grandchildren won't be victims, but there are no guarantees.
Every blue dot represents a registered sex offender in LA. Add the 300 to that which you say are unreported and we are in a world of trouble. Each dot has a victim that will probably grow up to be a vulnerable adult. We're in way over our heads on this one.
I work in an organization where the awareness is very high and everyone gets a criminal background check before being able to work with a vulnerable population. The abuse is still tremendous.
I feel your passion leviathon. I'm a victim of sexual assault. My children are victims of sexual assault. Hopefully my grandchildren won't be victims, but there are no guarantees.
Every blue dot represents a registered sex offender in LA. Add the 300 to that which you say are unreported and we are in a world of trouble. Each dot has a victim that will probably grow up to be a vulnerable adult. We're in way over our heads on this one.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 889
Perhaps the title of this thread "Sexual abuse in AA a serious problem" is just too tempting a morsel for anti AA's to take a nip at ......
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
I have been to alot of 12 step meetings AA NA Alanon Naranon all are on my list. I have found that some meetings are more of a "meet" er or "meat " market. The first meeting I went to was like that and unfortunatly I did not go back to a 12 step meeting for many years.
I have found the the larger meetings have more potiental to have 13th steppers than the smaller groups. I like to go to meetings that focus on the steps. The big speaker meetings seem to be popular with the people who are being forced to go to meetings by the courts. The meetings that focus on the 12 steps seem to have people who are interested in getting well. Let's face it people who are being forced to go to a meeting are more likely to be playing games and flirting is one way to divert the focus of recovery.
People and their sexuality are complicated and mix that up with forced recovery tactics of the courts and a meeting has the potiental to be more like going to a singles bar than group therapy.
I am pretty sure that some of the larger groups do have people who are aware of the problem of 13th stepping and maybe some of them are starting to address the problem in their meetings I do not know. My sponcer says that they are trying to bring up this issue in group consciousness meetings. But the wheels are turning slow because it is a big machine and lots of minds are still not focused on recovery. I do not attend the group consiousness meeting of the larger meetings and the smaller ones that I go to don't sseem to have these kinds of issues to deal with so I do know how this issue is being dealt with. I deal with it by not going to the larger meetings where the focus seems to be on playing games and getting laid...I feel bad for a newbie that wants help and attends one of the game playing meetings and does not find out that there are other types of meetings out there.
I am glad my head is clear enough to watch out for myself and also that my focus is not on finding someone new to ease my pain. There are a lot of people that jump from the fire into the frying pan. For some it takes a lot to realize that the "someone" they are looking for is themselves. May you find that you are who you need if you do not already know it.
I have found the the larger meetings have more potiental to have 13th steppers than the smaller groups. I like to go to meetings that focus on the steps. The big speaker meetings seem to be popular with the people who are being forced to go to meetings by the courts. The meetings that focus on the 12 steps seem to have people who are interested in getting well. Let's face it people who are being forced to go to a meeting are more likely to be playing games and flirting is one way to divert the focus of recovery.
People and their sexuality are complicated and mix that up with forced recovery tactics of the courts and a meeting has the potiental to be more like going to a singles bar than group therapy.
I am pretty sure that some of the larger groups do have people who are aware of the problem of 13th stepping and maybe some of them are starting to address the problem in their meetings I do not know. My sponcer says that they are trying to bring up this issue in group consciousness meetings. But the wheels are turning slow because it is a big machine and lots of minds are still not focused on recovery. I do not attend the group consiousness meeting of the larger meetings and the smaller ones that I go to don't sseem to have these kinds of issues to deal with so I do know how this issue is being dealt with. I deal with it by not going to the larger meetings where the focus seems to be on playing games and getting laid...I feel bad for a newbie that wants help and attends one of the game playing meetings and does not find out that there are other types of meetings out there.
I am glad my head is clear enough to watch out for myself and also that my focus is not on finding someone new to ease my pain. There are a lot of people that jump from the fire into the frying pan. For some it takes a lot to realize that the "someone" they are looking for is themselves. May you find that you are who you need if you do not already know it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Don't know if anyone has bothered to check, but the idiot that started this thread hasn't been seen nor heard from since the first 4 or 5 posts, and we're still talking about it. Talk about flaming!!
I just PMd levi and told him that with the amount of media spin this subject gets day to day, nobody can claim ignorance. I've known many thought who could and should claim stupidity. My primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. In doing that, I take it upon myself to inform new people about 13th stepping. It's not my job, nor my responsibility to go on a campaign to "save" people from sexual preditors. Hell, truth be known, there are few qualified drunks who haven't been sexual preditors at one time or another. That kind of behavior is supposed to change when we start working the 12 steps. Some change and some don't and believe me, the ones who don't, stick out like a smelly outhouse in the fog. Nuf said from here.
I just PMd levi and told him that with the amount of media spin this subject gets day to day, nobody can claim ignorance. I've known many thought who could and should claim stupidity. My primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. In doing that, I take it upon myself to inform new people about 13th stepping. It's not my job, nor my responsibility to go on a campaign to "save" people from sexual preditors. Hell, truth be known, there are few qualified drunks who haven't been sexual preditors at one time or another. That kind of behavior is supposed to change when we start working the 12 steps. Some change and some don't and believe me, the ones who don't, stick out like a smelly outhouse in the fog. Nuf said from here.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Originally Posted by BSPGirl
Of course, that's what we like to do, we 'anti-AA's'... *rolls eyes* Seriously now...I think I've even said that those things like sexual abuse happen everywhere, whether it's '13 stepping' in AA or 'cybersex' in the SMART Recovery chatroom. Also following another way than AA/NA to remain sober/clean does not mean I'm anti AA, it's just not for me, period.
My point is that with a title such as the above mentioned, this redundant thread may go on "ad infinitum"
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 889
Originally Posted by Peter
I did not think you were anti AA BSP.
My point is that with a title such as the above mentioned, this redundant thread may go on "ad infinitum"
My point is that with a title such as the above mentioned, this redundant thread may go on "ad infinitum"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Toronto
Posts: 98
The issue isn't about sexual energy or consensual sex or dating in AA. It is about sexual assault including rape. When the Police launch an investigation into something like this it is a serious problem. If an organisations knows there is a problem with a sexual assault in their organization and they do nothing to address it, they are both morally and legally liable.
If I found out there was a problem with sexual assault in my company, my church, or any organization I was involved with, I would have a reaction. My first reaction would be disgust, my second concern, my third action. I would want to develop a comprehensive program to address the problem. The police wouldn't have to come to me I would come to them.
I think it is morally reprehensible to defend an organisation who sticks its head in the sand when its members are being raped . Being a supporter of an organization shouldn't make you blind to its faults. The Catholic church didn't address the problem until it was too late. The cost to them has been enormous both in terms of lawsuits and people who left the church (taking their wallets with them).
I, along with others, personally walked in on a girl being assaulted in AA meeting. When other members saw what was going on, some of them tried to spirit the man committing the assaulted away. The tried to convince the girl not to call the Police and that it was best dealt with internally. I called the Police and helped the girl report the crime. When the Police came, witnesses claimed they saw nothing. Days later people in AA called the girl up to try and get to recant her report to the Police. They asked what her part was in the assault (blame the victim).
The guy who assaulted her continued to go to meetings that he knew the girl was at, despite having a restraining order on him at the time. Each time members told me to let it go and turn it over. Luckily I didn't, I called the Police and he was re-arrested for violating his restraining order. He was convicted of the assault and it turned out he had been convicted of sexual assault in the past.
In the 90's (it was 95 or 96 I think) the main conference speaker at the AA's Ontario Regional Conference was arrested on the Friday night for sexual assault and it was hushed up by AA in Toronto. He didn't get a chance to convey his experience, strength and hope that weekend, only his sickness.
I tried to address the issue of sexual assault in AA in Toronto at the time. I talked to people on the ORC committee, Intergroup and General Service, all to no avail. I was privy to 2 instances personally and had heard of 100's more. Considering the Toronto Police had arrived on the Conference doorstep, I thought we should address the issue to protect our members. Very few people were interested in even talking about it, never mind doing anything about it. Those people who did think it was a problem told me that unfortunately I was wasting my time and that nothing would be done about it.
Personally people who commit sexual assault disgust me, as do those who defend them.
If I found out there was a problem with sexual assault in my company, my church, or any organization I was involved with, I would have a reaction. My first reaction would be disgust, my second concern, my third action. I would want to develop a comprehensive program to address the problem. The police wouldn't have to come to me I would come to them.
I think it is morally reprehensible to defend an organisation who sticks its head in the sand when its members are being raped . Being a supporter of an organization shouldn't make you blind to its faults. The Catholic church didn't address the problem until it was too late. The cost to them has been enormous both in terms of lawsuits and people who left the church (taking their wallets with them).
I, along with others, personally walked in on a girl being assaulted in AA meeting. When other members saw what was going on, some of them tried to spirit the man committing the assaulted away. The tried to convince the girl not to call the Police and that it was best dealt with internally. I called the Police and helped the girl report the crime. When the Police came, witnesses claimed they saw nothing. Days later people in AA called the girl up to try and get to recant her report to the Police. They asked what her part was in the assault (blame the victim).
The guy who assaulted her continued to go to meetings that he knew the girl was at, despite having a restraining order on him at the time. Each time members told me to let it go and turn it over. Luckily I didn't, I called the Police and he was re-arrested for violating his restraining order. He was convicted of the assault and it turned out he had been convicted of sexual assault in the past.
In the 90's (it was 95 or 96 I think) the main conference speaker at the AA's Ontario Regional Conference was arrested on the Friday night for sexual assault and it was hushed up by AA in Toronto. He didn't get a chance to convey his experience, strength and hope that weekend, only his sickness.
I tried to address the issue of sexual assault in AA in Toronto at the time. I talked to people on the ORC committee, Intergroup and General Service, all to no avail. I was privy to 2 instances personally and had heard of 100's more. Considering the Toronto Police had arrived on the Conference doorstep, I thought we should address the issue to protect our members. Very few people were interested in even talking about it, never mind doing anything about it. Those people who did think it was a problem told me that unfortunately I was wasting my time and that nothing would be done about it.
Personally people who commit sexual assault disgust me, as do those who defend them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by Clark
As a sign of my commitment to spiritual growth and a better me, I am not posting what I was going to post to taiman about what he can do with all his disgust.
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