Sexual abuse in AA a serious problem

[Peter]

Originally Posted by Clark

When I first came to AA I was sexually abused--I wanted sex and the women all ignored me!

HA HA

[CarolD]

I had many more incidents when I was drunk in bars
than ever happened to me sober in AA.

No attacks or abuse...just jerks!!...

[BSPGirl]

Well this doesn't make AA a bad organization in my eyes, I mean you could easily replace AA for SMART, I even got hit on in their chatroom once, it didn't bother me too much but I can see how it bothers ppl, there are always rotten apples, everywhere.

[inlandza]

Here in za we also have the 13steppers and some do get out of hand. But we do sort them out very quikly so that not to much damage can take place.

If the ladies fell they cant handle it we also have ladies only groups in most our major centers in ZA

This seams to help a lot

[Five]

you need a) control group and b) evidence that the level is higher than the control group. Tricky.

[Five]

From my own two something years in AA - I found the level of sexual energy as normal as anywhere else in the world. there was one character who had a reputation for being a threat to the ladies and that was it. One amongst thousands. AA is not a safe heaven for sexual predators in my opinon, and if it does happen it has nothing to do with AA itself, but with the individuals involved.

[rose petals]

hmmmm--
i think why it concerned me is the lifestyle they are claiming to live in the 12 steps and then taking advantage of people--drunks in bars and people in other places arent touting a upstanding way of life and then going against it causing confusion--except chuirches and that--the thing with aa is many times peoples lifes are quite literally in our hands and they are so fragile in the state they come in and we present the program for living and be hypocritical--thats the sad thing --we need to watch for these people and warn people or say something laura

[Grasshopper]

Hmmm,Laura,you say,many times peoples lifes are quite literally in our hands?I respectfully disagree.If i thought this way,i would never ever share with another alcohloic again.I would be to scared to,.I cant put myself on that hill-top.I share with another alcoholic,the results of that are not in my hand.There have been times where the newcomer has put me on a hill-top,but i soon let them know thats,not where i belong.Im one alcoholic,sharring with another alcoholic.Churches are no place for saints,for none are in there.Its a hospital for sinners,who come together in fellowship to pray and praise God.We strive,,,,we strive,to be examples.Some are sicker than others.Thats a fact,of life on lifes terms.We are not reliant upon people,but a Higher Power. Ianything is going to mess up AA its people,not AA itself.If another is warned about sick, behaviour,but that person has changed,what happens?To each their own on this one.But i personally wont brand another.But i will have a chat with them...

[markofevil]

Originally Posted by rose petals

hmmmm--
i think why it concerned me is the lifestyle they are claiming to live in the 12 steps and then taking advantage of people--drunks in bars and people in other places arent touting a upstanding way of life and then going against it causing confusion--except chuirches and that--the thing with aa is many times peoples lifes are quite literally in our hands and they are so fragile in the state they come in and we present the program for living and be hypocritical--thats the sad thing --we need to watch for these people and warn people or say something laura

People pretending to be what they aren't is as old as the first slimy thing that crawled out of the ocean, and some of these jerks still resemble those slimy things!

Just think of that BTK killer. That guy was like a deacon in his church or something like that.

[rose petals]

hey grasshopper
you are right --it is ultimately in gods hands--that you are--i guess what im trying to say is, for example i came in so fragile and just a complete wreck --i trusted wholeheartedly--i guess that was my own naitve(sp)--i was such a wreck that when i saw what some people were doing in there it really threw me for a loop--now i feel more balnced so i can live with it--i guessi couldnt understand why some would tout this program then do the opposite--i never talk about aa and that unless im honestly doing it--i dont know--guess your right--because of how i felt i figured everyone does--you take care

[Grasshopper]

Yup can understand.Threw me to.Big time.For i too trusted wholeheartly,everybody,and it was --because --they are in recovery program,that i automatically did this.Painful lesson,for me,..I,stick with the folks who are talking,the talk,and walking the walk.,from that experience.Because some are just not,trustworthy servants.Saying one thing but their actions are doing something else.Beats me,i dont get it,but have accepted it.Folks are folks where ever i go...It was my expectations of others,that caused my pain.I can see that today.
all da best of the best,

[rose petals]

hey grasshopper
yes i definetely agree with you--you put it more eloquently than i do--lol--you take care
laura
thanks helping me to see that

[Music]

Yuuuuuup!!! AA has all kinds of questionable folks coming in and going out. Pot heads, coac heads, crack heads, queers, hookers, womanizers, and especially drunks. That's why the book says "WE AREN'T SAINTS." Too bad there just isn't a way to screen people so we could get only the "good" ones. We might even be able to weed out some of those other unsavory characters like Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and people from other countries like Canada.

[Phinneas]

Originally Posted by Music

We might even be able to weed out some of those other unsavory characters like ... people from other countries like Canada.

Gaaaaaaaaa!

[fraankie]

well, read the papers
for sexual abuse
at half the worl's top corporations
not to mention
police departments, fire deppatments
and
heh, heh, the Board of education
as in NYC

[FaeryQueen]

Ridiculous.

I get hit on more in my workplace than I do in AA.

[shyl]

I have just seen this thread.I have to say i am not surprised.
Speaking as someone who lives in England,i backed off from AA all together due to being made to feel uncomfortable by men within the rooms and i was not the only one by far.
I did not witness abuse but heard about it time and time again from women who i met in recovery.I witnessed men that were predators again and again and i felt very vunerable as others did and i know of many women that backed off from AA like me.
It is sad especially when i read here about how positive people view AA and i am sure AA can be,if it run in the right way.
I have found sobriety my own way and by the support here online.
Shyl

[Grasshopper]

lol@Music,
Does your sponsor walk the walk?Or did you just pick anybody?Did you take your time,in picking your sponsor,and does he have the kind of soberiety that you would want for yourself?or have you picked out anyone,whether they are sober or not?
Not looking for the "good" ones if you will,but i do seek out folks who are following recovery program,and doing the do things,to be my sponsor.For myself there are times that im what you ,can,call,the good one,and also have been times that im what you would call the bad one,lol.Progress never perfection,.All kinds of folks are in the rooms,as you say.but im very careful on who i trust,who sponsors me.If recovery rooms called out for only good folks,i would never be there,lol.

[Clark]

Originally Posted by FaeryQueen

Ridiculous.

I get hit on more in my workplace than I do in AA.

I get hit on more at home alone with the doors locked than I do in AA. Oh, wait, it's not more, it's the same . . . uh . . .I mean . . .