James Frey Breaks the Rules

[FaeryQueen]

Respectfully Phinny,

I would say there is a lot of knowledge in this thread. Especially the kind that comes from experience with addiction. Pragmatic knowledge is the best kind.....in my opinion...lol.

If I ever write a book and it is exposed to the world, I would expect to be privy to many different opinions about the content...and even about my person.....it is nothing personal....just opinions....and you know what they say about those!

Everyone has a right to one...knowledge or not.

I've also heard they are like *ssholes.....everybuddy has one....lol.

[Don S]

Given these negative reviews filled with such dismissive characterizations, I now feel compelled to read it.
An online source:
https://ebooks.palm.com/product/deta..._Little_Pieces

[Paulie]

I have so much awe and admiration for this young man I will be thinking of him for a long time to come.

ME TOO Anna!!!

And I am a 12 step thumper . He is sober, he is happy, he is living his life as a productive member of society. He finds he spirituality, serenity, whatever you want to call it in a different way than I do..that is fine with me.

To me the most important thing is that he is sober, he is not hurting himself or the people that love him anymore.

I have not finished the book yet and even though I know what happens I still want to read it. In it, even though it is written very descriptive, I feel hope, hope for the addict who still suffers.

My H is hardcore 12 step and while he has not been as harsh on this guy in our discussions as some here have been he to feels that his sobriety won't last without a belief in God. That is my H's opinion and he is entitlted to it just as James in entitled to find sobriety/happiness/freedom/peace/love any way he chooses to.

I say YOU GO JAMES!!!! and thank you for sharing your story/sobriety with me!!! We basically are all on the same journey, the paths may be differnt but the journey is the same. And Blessings to everyone on this journey!

[Don S]

Originally Posted by Paulie

...
My H is hardcore 12 step and while he has not been as harsh on this guy in our discussions as some here have been he to feels that his sobriety won't last without a belief in God. ...

Your husband believes that his own sobriety won't last without a belief in God? or your husband believes that James' sobriety won't?
Don

[Paulie]

My husband believes his OWN sobriety wont' last without a belief/faith in God and he thinks James has just been 'lucky' so far (so yes he also believes that James' won't either).

I love him but I dont have to agree with him .

[Peter]

Originally Posted by 51anna

I was fascinated to see James Frey on Oprah this week, after just finishing (with great difficulty) 'A Million Little Pieces'.

James used drugs (any and all) and alcohol very heavily from age 10 to 23. He was lucky to be alive when he entered rehab and lucky to live through rehab.

The fascinating thing is that he broke all the rules and has been sober for 13 years. He steadfastly refused to deal with AA at all, ever and has NO belief in a higher power of any kind. When he left rehab, he went directly to a bar, ordered a large drink and stared at it, but didn't drink it.

He has gotten through this by:

1) letting go of his fear - he says what he did to himself is far worse than anything anyone could do to him.

2) by 'holding on' - when things are bad, they won't stay that way and you will feel better

I'd love to hear people's comments on this!

Broke all of who's rules ? AA ?

I am happy for whatever success anyone achieves over alcohol but without breaking anybody's bubble; "Letting go of fear" is a principle long taught in 12 Step philosophy.

"This too shall change" is another one of AA's slogan.

If going to a bar and staring at a glass of rum is an interpretation of success then it only proves that the methodology of alcoholism recovery is expanding even faster than I imagined.

[minnie]

"Letting go of fear" is a principle long taught in 12 Step philosophy.

"This too shall change" is another one of AA's slogan.

And, I believe, long pre-date the foundation of AA.

[Peter]

Originally Posted by minnie

And, I believe, long pre-date the foundation of AA.

Absolutely.

[FaeryQueen]

The wonder of AA is that it was able to condense the concept of "letting go of fear" and "surrender to what is" into a very simple program that could be applied by just about anyone....including the barely coherent, newly sober alkie.

The 12 steps summed these concepts up beautifully and made them widely available to alcoholics EVERYWHERE.....not just ones who might happen to catch Oprah.

[Don S]

Originally Posted by FaeryQueen

.......not just ones who might happen to catch Oprah.

"Current Membership
It is estimated that there are more than 100,000 groups and over 2,000,000 members in 150 countries."
http://www.aa.org/

The show has won 38 Emmy awards, is seen in 107 countries, and has been a top-rated talk show in the US for the past 18 years. Weekly viewing is estimated at 22,000,000 (2000 figures).

I'd say Oprah can have more direct impact on substance abuse than AA, for better or worse!
Don S

[FaeryQueen]

Don,
I certainly have a lot of respect for your opinions, but that arguement is laughable.

Oprah is certainly a pillar of society, quite talented, and quite rich....dollarwise and in personal character. In fact if I were the type of gal who needed a hero I just might pick her.

First of all she has already had an impact on substance abuse. In fact, I was watching her alcoholic mothers episode right before I ended up in the ER. Did that Oprah show give me a powerful, practical, supportive, open-minded method to help me recover from alcholism? NO.

However, I did found out how to make low-fat cherry cheesecake.

I am also trying to imagine some of the old-timers in my home group watching Oprah to stay sober!

[2dayzmuse]

Oprah won't take my calls.

[indigo]

I have great respect for anyone who has 13 years whatever method they use. Superior or judgemental comments will never detract from this man's success. I applaud him. Thanks Anna for bringing this to our attention.

indigo

[Peter]

Originally Posted by Don S

"
I'd say Oprah can have more direct impact on substance abuse than AA, for better or worse!
Don S

Oh brother......

[Don S]

please note the 'for better or worse'....

Actually, I think what she can do is get someone who is on the edge of considering looking into maybe possibly considering that they might conceivably have a bit of a problem with alcohol to consider maybe going to one of those 'groups' that they've heard a little bit about. We all started somewhere, right?

Or, to put it within the framework of the classic 'stages of change', she can help nudge people from 'pre-contemplation' to 'contemplation' about recovery.

I'm told she's had plenty of 12-step folks on her program. I don't know, because the few times I've watched her for even a few minutes I find my temples start throbbing and my brain feels as though it's shrinking and I have to flee the room.
Don

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by 2dayzmuse

Oprah won't take my calls.

She doesn't respond to e-mails, either....

[FriendofBill]

Im rather late to this thread (That damn hurricane, ya know)...so if this has already been said,,forgive me.

Here is my 2 cents (American)........

Abstinence is NOT sobriety, imho.

Abstinence is not ingesting addictive, toxic chemicals.

Sobriety is everything that comes after.............

Just this gal's opinion.

[Mogqua]

Originally Posted by Don S

times I've watched... I find my temples start throbbing...
Don

I have a similar response.

She sounds like any other crackhead I've had to kick out of hotel rooms.
With a fan base feigning depth by expounding their belief in the 'STAR' and "National Enquirer."
And then they fall asleep.

~~

So back to the topic.

He broke all the rules?
Rather absolute way to start.
What rules? AA? AA has only one rule
~ Rule 62 ~
A reminder to what rules get us.


Hey, he went to rehab. A 12 Step rehab. Hazelden 12 Step.
He 'survived' it, he didn't walk out on it.
He buys a drink and doesn't drink it.
Well something caught in there.
He uses two techniques taught in rehab.
Claims he didn't learn what they taught.
His action gives them credit and his voice destroys his credability.

Congratulations on his abstinence.
How about some AM or REBT for those other issues?

[BubbaBob]

I would like to think that in some small way I have helped some folks find their path to sobriety, but from what I have seen and read of Jim Frey I don't even scratch the surface of what he has done.

Whether you agree with his "program" (and there IS a program, though unconventional) or not, his story in the book of his life BEFORE recovery is one of the most powerful and compelling ones I have ever read. Ir really is not much different than most of ours, but it is conveyed more understandably than most of us could do...and that helps every addict/alcoholic, not yet reaching out, that happens upon the book, to know that no matter how bad it is, they can recover. It also helps family members that simply either don't have a clue, or that try to understand, but can't.

My program is therapy and AA. It has given me 17 months of sobriety when I work the program, and two weeks of hell until a week ago if I didn't work the program...but I have said before that any program, including standing on your head with your finger in your ear while farting "Dixie" for an hour a day, is fine if it WORKS. His obviously does, for him.

As for the helping others part of AA's program, I'd say he has helped more, far more, with that book than most of us.

BubbaBob

[Dan]

Originally Posted by Mogqua

His action gives them credit and his voice destroys his credability.

Does it really, though?

From the Language of the Heart...

But many would not return with us. They said, “Let’s stay here and sort over those damned coins. We’ll pick only the ones that carry lucky inscriptions. For instance, those that say, ‘Power’ and ‘Glory’ and ‘Righteousness.’ You fellows are going to be sorry you didn’t stick around.� Not strangely, it was years before this part of our original company returned to the Highway.
Bill Wilson

What if Frey never was on the Highway in the first place?
He found a way and he's sharing it.
I might not like what I hear, but man, I hope I can at least be detached enough from myself to look at his message and find the keys offered.

What if his coins buy him something useful to manage his life?

Still haven't read the book.
Back to my corner.

[Five]

Originally Posted by minnie

This is a fascinating thread. There seems to be a train of thought that all addicts/alcoholics know nothing about values and spirituality before they get into recovery. How's about if some weren't starting from scratch and simply needed to hit a bottom before those spiritual principles were brought into focus?

A very pertinant point Minnie.

[Five]

Originally Posted by Mogqua

It's not about doing, but being.
Activites and striving for acomplishments are often the facade to hide the "bars behind the eyes" or "blinders."
"White-knuckling" is also holding on to things that bind us to fear of change.

And there are those that equally found rehab by the drunk on skidrow.
Thats only a begining.


It is clear to me by experience of living the same thing of acomplishments and activity.
I see in him what I once was and have outgrown.


Be Well

Incredible.

Such a patronising tone. I suggest you look up the word "logic" in the dictionary.

Just because the sun rises today, does not mean it will rise tommorrow.

Your largely holistic writings are, to some, are exactly the reason why most leave AA.


----

""White-knuckling" is also holding on to things that bind us to fear of change.

Who says?

[Five]

Originally Posted by Chy

Well my sobriety surely does Dan! That for me is the day I quit growng. When I quit being open minded to how others have achieved sobriety with their addiction. When I am on a quest of knowledge of how addicts and alcoholics deal with it there can never be enough resources for the next person coming through the door. For me as an individual that is huge. First I extedend the hand of AA, if it's rejected I offer another suggestion. Because of my ability to be in constant search of other methods for other people like James who did it his way with his belief and power found in the Tao it's just another tool in the box to offer the next person still looking for an answer.

Yes I am a member of the fellowship of AA and one of the first things I learned was to be Open minded.

A brilliant out look Chy, if you don't mind me saying.

[Five]

Originally Posted by minnie

And are often a result of a new zest for life when the bottom has been reached.

This statement is very true, in my belief. Most researchers agree that alcoholics change when they experience a alteration in beliefs about alcohol and key values about life.

[Five]

Originally Posted by Mogqua

I might add that its real basis is thousands of years old and AA strived to find "universal principles" to live by and that it claims no monopoly on it.

It doesn't matter where you get it, so long as you get it.

If you read this sentance, actually really look at it closely, think about its meaning - it actually comes across as quite dangerous.

Maybe reverse the "you" to "I", like Bill suggests.