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Old 04-26-2005, 04:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Life without alcohol... I hate it.

I hated life when I was drinking too, but now without alcohol to 'help', I really don't like life.

It's only been 3-4 weeks since I stopped, I still want to drink just as badly though.

My daily routine has gone from waking up at about 10 am, drinking, waking up in the afternoon having passed out on the floor, drinking a little more and then maybe go for a walk.
To now where I'll try to spend as much time out of the house as possible, and keeping healthy, most of the time doing whatever I have to do during the day instead of staying home and drinking. Basically, a healthy, well functioning life (at least compared to a month ago). And once I find a job and maybe even get back into school it will be a well functioning life.

All of this and I feel like I'm living a lie. Pretending to myself that things are getting better when they aren't. Maybe my problem is my life and that's what makes the drinking so bad. Or maybe it's feeling like I 'need' a drink so badly that's making my life like this...

I guess the point to this thread is to ask if the absence of alcohol does stop being so hard to deal with. And I know that alcohol isn't the answer to anything but I was dependent on it to hide from my problems for a reason, because I had no other way to either hide from my problems or to help me deal with my problems. So I take away alcohol and I'm left with a life that I have no idea how to be happy living.
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Old 04-26-2005, 05:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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oh man
i could not have done sobriety without a program to bring me into alternative actions and thoughts.
for me it was and is NA/AA.

i went from seeing the world in monotones of gray to gettin all the colors back!

after 9 years, it is still evolving as a hope filled life.
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Old 04-26-2005, 09:43 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Live up to your name Staying Sober and life will become so good that you'll look back at the misery you're feeling now and not be able to understand why you ever poisoned yourself to begin with Yes the cravings go away.. more and more with every month of not drinking. Go to meetings and give yourself a good amount of time to adjust and to clean up... It takes a few months to even think straight. It simply does take time to feel "right" inside your skin... keep busy, exercise, drink a lot of water and go to meetings and before you know it you'll wake up loving it.

yours in sobriety,
Michele
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Old 04-27-2005, 05:17 AM   #4 (permalink)
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stayingsober
just giving up drinking is only helping you physically...and that's not to denegrate it - it's awesome what you have done...but you know what it must be taking HERCULEAN strength!!!! It's TOO HARD TO DO IT ON ONE's OWN!!! You don't get a special prize for doing it on your own - and it's 100% HARDER.
My suggestion: look up a meeting www.aa.org - find one in your area...never mind your preconceptions...this is where you will find fellowship, support, craic (as in fun, not CRACK the drug lol!) new friendships and MOST importantly spiritual HEALING and GROWTH. Alcoholism is such a terrible mental disesae...the drinking is only a SYMPTOM which you are dealing with very well I might add. VERY well - well done on that. But I can understand how nothing seems to be 'changing' - pm me any time if you wish and GOOD LUCK! I think aa meetings will make the world of difference - in fact i know they will, because before I engaged in them and went through 'dry' periods, i felt just like you do.
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Old 04-27-2005, 06:10 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Stayingsober,

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a bad spell. It will get better with time, the cravings will abate and you will look back on this period as one in which you fought a hard battle. You will feel enormously proud of yourself because you have done what many believe is impossible, you will have beaten an addiction.
One of the things that I noticed most when I stopped drinking was that the minutes, hours and days were so much longer. It takes quite an effort to fill that extra time and I feel that you are struggling to do that.
Alcohol is the greatest thief of time and we as alcoholics have become used to the foreshortening of our lives. Time simply flies when you are drunk and you have no problem filling your days with a bottle by your side.
Now that we are sober time stretches back to where it should have been all along and this is a huge change for us, and one for which I was completely unprepared. The old saying "the devil makes work for idle hands" now comes into play. With the extra time comes extra thinking and the possible entry of self-doubt. The only way I know to combat these problems is to be busy. I see from your post that you are looking for work and I wish you every success in your search. Work gives me a great focus and I can immerse myself in the everyday and completely forget my addiction. You also mention study and you may find that that will take you away from the old habits and ways that you were accustomed to with alcohol.
I have just re-read what I have written and I feel as though I sound like an agony aunt here but I can only give you the benefit of my experience and hope that It is of some use to you.

I really wish you well in sobriety, good luck

Michael
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Old 04-27-2005, 08:51 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I asked my first sponsor once, "how long do I have to go to these damn meetings." His answer was, "until you learn to like them." That's what I'm saying to you. Stick around until you learn to like being sober. It takes work but I'll guarantee it's the best gift you can give yourself.
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Old 04-27-2005, 08:55 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I would have to agree with most of the other posts and say that without a recovery program of some sort, I could not have stayed sober--or atleast if I had stayed sober, I could not have stayed sane. Find one you can live with, SS, and I think you will find your life getting better immediately.

Best of luck--
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Old 04-27-2005, 09:01 AM   #8 (permalink)
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When I quit I was at a stale mate. Great, I quit, now what? It took several months to readjust my life and routine to feel like I was doing something worthwhile. I to went to AA and went as often as I could and clung to my sponsor those early weeks. Eventually, I found new interests, went back to school, found a few hobbies. It IS a new life adjustment, it takes time, determination and patience. Above all gratitude that you've come this far and been able to start you new life journey. Hang in there, it WILL get better if you make it so!
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Old 04-27-2005, 09:15 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I don't hate my life without my drugs.. but I liked it more with my drugs. But, little by little... Which in itself is a TALL order for those of us that sought immediate relief in whatever drug we chose. That is what is so challenging. All this time it is going to take. Well - I could get high within like 10 minutes. This order of months and months is overwhelming to me.

But. I will say - go to a meeting. It starts there. And it is so good for you. I am going to one today, even though I HATE the thought of it. But not going isn't working.

And by going I have seen life on the other side. I see living examples that smile at me and tell me how they were EXACTLY like me at one time. And they are so happy and serene and SOBER now. So. Seeing real live humans that actually resemble me in all different ways gives me some sort of direction.

And I don't know if I am on my way to life long sobriety or not right now. BUT I am going to stay clean for today. That's all I can promise to you right now. (even if I have to go to bed at 6 pm).

HANG IN THERE. I hear it is really great on the other side.
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Old 04-27-2005, 10:44 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Been there, done that. I know those feelings well...

For me, if sobriety was just to "stop drinking," it would be pretty easy. I don't have a "drinking" problem, though -- I have a "living and thinking" problem. So I look at the different areas of sobriety -- physical, mental, spiritual, emotional. I personally need a program and some help to grow in any of those areas.

AA helps me with those issues, and I've got to try to live according to those principles to the best of my ability.

Hope you have some kind of program you are working with to help deal with all those feelings, so that you can "stay sober."

I know for me, if I start slipping in the mental, spiritual, etc. areas, the next step may be a slip in my physical sobriety.... that's when it can all go to pieces on me.

Keep working on enjoying your sobriety -- the booze doesn't make the problems go away, and usually only makes things worse.

Ken
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Old 04-27-2005, 02:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoBeer
Been there, done that. I know those feelings well...

For me, if sobriety was just to "stop drinking," it would be pretty easy. I don't have a "drinking" problem, though -- I have a "living and thinking" problem. So I look at the different areas of sobriety -- physical, mental, spiritual, emotional. I personally need a program and some help to grow in any of those areas.

AA helps me with those issues, and I've got to try to live according to those principles to the best of my ability.
Not so much BTDT but there right now with you and hating it too the rest of what NoMoBeer says is so true for me... I don't have a *drink* problem, I have a *Lucy* problem. My head is emotionally soooo screwed up I used to drink to shut it off, now there's no off switch. Except I realise now that there is... going to meetings, working the program and changing the way I think about stuff. My sponsor says, alcohol is a disease of perception.
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Old 04-27-2005, 03:18 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StayingSober
I hated life when I was drinking too, but now without alcohol to 'help', I really don't like life.

It's only been 3-4 weeks since I stopped, I still want to drink just as badly though.

My daily routine has gone from waking up at about 10 am, drinking, waking up in the afternoon having passed out on the floor, drinking a little more and then maybe go for a walk.
To now where I'll try to spend as much time out of the house as possible, and keeping healthy, most of the time doing whatever I have to do during the day instead of staying home and drinking. Basically, a healthy, well functioning life (at least compared to a month ago). And once I find a job and maybe even get back into school it will be a well functioning life.

All of this and I feel like I'm living a lie. Pretending to myself that things are getting better when they aren't. Maybe my problem is my life and that's what makes the drinking so bad. Or maybe it's feeling like I 'need' a drink so badly that's making my life like this...

I guess the point to this thread is to ask if the absence of alcohol does stop being so hard to deal with. And I know that alcohol isn't the answer to anything but I was dependent on it to hide from my problems for a reason, because I had no other way to either hide from my problems or to help me deal with my problems. So I take away alcohol and I'm left with a life that I have no idea how to be happy living.

Cravings and withdrawls are perfectly normal for someone with one month. It will get better. The concensus is that you're not attending meetings, and though it's absolutly none of my business, I'd recommend doing so if that is the case. AA is not a religious program so you get to choose or invent your own higher power. If they don't work for you try SMART, or Rational Recovery. The only thing you stand to lose doing this is neurosis, paronoia, and lonlieness.
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Old 04-27-2005, 08:18 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Wow StayingSober, it has been exactly 26 days since I stopped drinking and I really hear what you are going through. After I came out of my drinking haze I realized what a shambles I had let things go to around me. Maybe it was God who sent termites and foundation problems to me to keep me busy? I have not been to any meetings, but am going to soon make that step and go to my first one.

Stay busy, read, start working out, whatever you got to do, just stay sober. I have faith things will get much more enjoyable for us as time passes.
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