ellima01

I posted last night and said my AH was at a bar singing. Well, he picked me up at wok @ 100 last night drunk as a skunk and very obnoxious. At first he was't ging to let me drive but I told him either I wold drive or walk- so he scoots over and lets me drive. He was calling me names and saying awful things to me. He kicked the console cand completely broke it. I told him to either staighten up or get out of the car (I have NEVER stood up like this before), anyway- he gets out of the car and I rann off and left him standing, about 5 miles from our house.- I just LEFTT him there. I was scared of the crap I might have to deal with if I didn't. Well, He found a way home about 3 hrs later, he broke my front door in and broke my coffee table. Told me if I called the law (which I was threatening to do) our marriage was over- I should have called anyway but as scared he meant it.
I am do depreesed this morning- he is driving me nuts!

spirit

hi ellie, we havent met, my name is kath.

mm that sounds so scary and it sounds like crap. been there, done that and got the t shirt mate.

so if you are not going to call the cops , what else can you do to make you feel safe. sometimes having an escape or saftey plan helps, even if you dont use it. just to know you have it can be a measure of security.

do you have neighbours that you can say " hey i am going to betty's for coffee, take her bins out, see her about a recipe etc. lines that will get you out when you feel you NEED to. stories and tales that get you out of the house. you dont have to go to the neighbour, just get out of the house when crap happens.

not sure if you have children. if so work out stories to tell them and take them too.

if not you are going to have to call the cops, sorry,that is so tough, but if that is all you can think of then, that is all that can happen.

big hugs to you
kath (in australia)

Time2Surrender

I am so sorry to hear this.YOU NEED TO GET AWAY!!!!! ASAP!!!! Before something really bad happens. Have you posted this in the friends and family forums? Hang in there.We are here for you.And please do not hesitate to call the police if he does anything else.Dont wait until he attacks you.

jems girl

ellie - you need to be safe! Talk with a friend, work out a plan....go somewhere for some time where you can be safe and work through your mind what you want. I am sure there are places in your community where you can talk with others who can help you....please make sure you are safe.

Peter

Yesterday I was in the supermarket and there was this little boy on the floor kicking and screaming and throwing one hell of a temper tantrum because his mother was not giving him what he wanted.

I smile because a few years ago I was just like that little boy.

I used raging as a means of manipulation and control.

I did not want to be in a relationship with an equal partner.I wanted things MY WAY,and I needed to remind people who the boss was, even if I had to resort to physical violence to do it.

Living with a ragaholic is not only depressing.It is EXHAUSTING and leaves so little room for anything else.

You have very good reason to be afraid and you do not need me to tell you that unchecked rage can be lethal.

Seven years ago I accepted the fact that my behaviour was dysfunctional and that I needed help and since then I have been working on my communication skills.

I try to resist the temptation to rage because it is childish and will only estrange people from me.