mina120

I don't think I'm an alcoholic, rather a problem drinker, but I need advice. I'm 31 years old and last time I drank alcohol was 4 years ago, right before I started taking benzodiazepines for my anxiety problems. Up until that point I used to get drunk or crave alcohol every time I felt anxious or depressed, but it wasn't a daily thing, it was more of an impulse behavior. For example, if I had a argument with my boyfriend and I couldn't meet my friends to go get drunk with them, I would buy a bottle of alcohol and go to the library's toilet to hide and drink there since I couldn't do it at home because I was living with my parents. I could spend weeks without drinking but when I was feeling bad I would use alcohol either to relax or as a way to punish myself and the world (I know it's a stupid mentality but it's the way my head worked/works).

Over the years I gradually developed severe anxiety problems with almost daily panic attacks and started taking benzodiazepines prescribed by my doctor instead of drinking alcohol. Now it's been 4 years since last time I drank but I take Bromazepam daily, although I think it stopped working a long time ago but I continued taking it because just thinking of quitting made me feel more anxious. I saw many doctors and went to 3 different therapists but my condition just kept getting worse and I ended up homebound with agoraphobia.

In all this time the only thing that helped me start controlling my anxiety is a mindfulness course that I took online some months ago. Now I haven't had a panic attack in months and although I'm still too scared to go out I want to stop taking Bromazepan because I don't want to depend on it, but I'm afraid that if I do I will start craving alcohol again.

So my question is, does anyone have any experiences quitting benzodiazepines? I think the dose I'm taking is pretty low, 4mg a day, so maybe I could start gradually reducing the dose to avoid withdrawal symptoms? For the record, I'm not asking for medical advice and I know I would need to consult a doctor, but I want to know other people's experiences because sometimes doctors don't give you the best options and you need to be well informed.

Also, in the case I stop taking benzodiazepines, is there anything I can do to prevent craving alcohol when I feel bad? Mindfulness helps, but I know sometimes life can get too ugly to think straight and I'm scared of those moments because I'm afraid of what I could do if I get drunk again.

I guess in the worst case scenario I could stay on benzos forever, but I don't want to depend on pills for the rest of my life...

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR Mina. I deal with anxiety too so I understand completely where you are coming from. I am definitely an alcoholic though and I used ( abused ) alcohol for decades in a failed attempt at self-medication.

I don't know a lot about benzo withdrawal but there are plenty of folks here that have gone through it. You absolutely do need to work with your doctor closely on this as it's definitely not something you want to just do cold turkey. Alcohol affects the brain in a very similar fashion to benzos too so you defnitely don't want to add that into the mix.

Regarding cravings, I think that working a solid recovery program like NA/AA or many of the other methods out there are key. Just like you learned to use mindfulness to help with your anxiety, we need to find alternative ways to deal with our addiction. We do have a substance abuse forum here as well if you'd like to meet folks who are possibly in the same situation as you.

SoberOtter

Hi Mina. I'm getting off alcohol and benzos. I'm a week off the alcohol, and I'm gradually tapering off Klonopin. It's a small dose, but I'm going slowly, like a 10% cut every two weeks to four weeks. At this rate, it could take four or five months to be completely off them. Everything I've read says GO SLOW when discontinuing benzos. Google the Ashton manual. Be well!

leviathan

Long term benzo therapy really requires a doctor's supervision to discontinue. Suddenly stopping can be dangerous.

BullDog777

I quit benzos 11/23/2009...cold turkey. I was on between 4-6mg of klonopin per day and it was the dumbest thing I ever did.

I had multiple seizures and had stroke level blood pressure. I had protracted withdrawal which took almost a month to get through. I was 100% bed ridden during this time.

I'm all for getting off the benzos, but do it the right way...with a dr. Nowadays their are much safer anti-anxiety meds available.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Mina

about maybe getting a drinking problem back...for a long time I believed I'd always be addicted to some substance or another...but that's turned out not to be true at all

I worked hard and I changed, and when I struggled from time to time I used the support I found here and elsewhere.

I've been clean and sober for over ten years now - it really is possible

D

Grungehead

When I got sober in 2013 I was taking Lorazepam prescribed at about an equivalent dose to the Bromazepam you are taking now. Since I was drinking heavily when I decided to get sober my doctor actually raised the dose for a week while I was withdrawing from the alcohol . Then he weaned me off of them gradually, and it took the better part of 3 months before I was completely off of it.

Benzos can be very dangerous to stop cold turkey. I would let the doctor prescribing them to you know that you are interested in getting off of them and let him/her oversee that process. I suffered from depression, anxiety and agoraphobia as well in addition to about a 12-18 beers a day drinking habit.

I just wanted to chime in to let you know that quitting benzos is entirely doable, but IMO it's imperative that it's done under a doctor's supervision. My doctor still prescribes me a small quantity (10 tablets) every 6 months when I see him to have on hand in case of "emergency". I've taken one a handful of times in the last 4 years since I tapered off of them.

mina120

Thank you so much for all your answers, it's really helpful.

Grungehead, I guess having some tablets available for emergencies can be useful, but when I was first prescribed benzos that's how I was taking them and eventually I started needing them daily, so I don't know if that would be a good idea for me... How do you avoid not becoming dependent on them again?

BullDog777

I'd like to offer my opinion on this one too.

You can't. People's chemistry ebbs and flows like any other living creature. I've read from published reports that benzo (physical) addiction can happen in as little as 3 days from someone who has been dependent before.

This is a paper thin balance. That's why a doctors schedule is best.
I wouldn't wish that detox on anyone who does it outside of a doctor's care.

Grungehead

One way I avoid not becoming dependent on them again is that I know I have 10 tablets to last me 6 months (not enough to become dependent on them). These 10 tablest are also the lowest strength they come in (0.5mg Lorazepam). Also if I were to run out of tablets I would have to go and see my doctor and explain to him why I needed more. But the main reason I've only taken a total of 4-5 tablets in over 4 years is because when I got sober I got into a program of recovery (AA and the 12 steps) which has vastly reduced my anxiety over time.

I've had a few major flare ups of anxiety since getting off of the benzos (as in being on the verge of a full blown panic attack) and this is what that small supply of tablets were made for. My doctor called it an "in case of emergency break glass" supply. Not enough to abuse if I tried, but there if the situation warrants it.

I think just knowing I had the emergency supply has allowed me to ride out some pretty significant waves of anxiety and avoid a full blown panic attack, yet not have to "break the glass" and take anything. Just knowing it was there allowed me to "sit with the anxiety" knowing I had a back up plan.

Edit to add that this is something me and my doctor worked out individually and may not work for everyone. He knew that I was being very proactive in my recovery and we've had an open and honest relationship for years, well before I got sober.

Forward12

I think getting a solid schedule in place with a therapist that you can see regularly would be the best plan of action. From there you can speak with them about your anxiety issues and possibly switching medications. There are countless non-addictive medications on the market that can be used, and you can discuss coming off of the benzos.
I also have been on a benzo for about 3 years for my severe anxiety and they can be a slippery slope in the way like alcohol that they do work extremely well, and because of this, can start to make you take them more and more and dependency sets in.
The way they are prescribed is foolishly, such as to take them twice (or more) a day every day, though my therapist discussed with me with the same advice as grungehead that they really should be used in an "emergency only" basis when all else has failed and full blown panic is about to set in, and not to just take them from slight flair ups.

RecklessEric

Absolutely, 100% see a doctor.
DO NOT DISCONTINUE BENZO USE UNSUPERVISED.
You risk a seizure, which can be fatal.

Personal experience- my doctor recommended a quick taper (1 week) and prescribed an anti-seizure medication.
Somebody above mentioned the Ashton Manual; my advice is forget the Ashton Manual and just follow your doctor's advice.

Be prepared, Benzo withdrawal is very difficult.
Personally, I attended a good CBT therapist who really helped.

NYCDoglvr

Ditto what the above posters have said. Don't quit without a doctor. Benzos are highly addictive, you need help to quit.