Back to square one
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Back to square one
Hi everyone.
I got drunk on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. On Friday I fell down some stairs and cut my face pretty bad but I could have died.
I'm so sickened to have regressed to this place and all the anxiety/guilt etc that brings.
Reflecting on it, I think I knew I was slipping. My diet had gone to junk, I was not exercising and my mood was terrible. I was very short with my wife a lot of the time.
And I didn't do a thing about it.
I skipped my last therapy session and convinced myself I would be fine.
Hope everyone here is well.
I got drunk on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. On Friday I fell down some stairs and cut my face pretty bad but I could have died.
I'm so sickened to have regressed to this place and all the anxiety/guilt etc that brings.
Reflecting on it, I think I knew I was slipping. My diet had gone to junk, I was not exercising and my mood was terrible. I was very short with my wife a lot of the time.
And I didn't do a thing about it.
I skipped my last therapy session and convinced myself I would be fine.
Hope everyone here is well.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Eric, glad to hear you weren't inured more severely.
Do you think you'd like to "do a thing about it" this time? We'd be happy to help if that's your intention. It is absolutely possible for anyone, you included, to achieve long-term sobriety. But you have to be willing to do the work...are you ready?
Do you think you'd like to "do a thing about it" this time? We'd be happy to help if that's your intention. It is absolutely possible for anyone, you included, to achieve long-term sobriety. But you have to be willing to do the work...are you ready?
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
"One year sober, friends.
I cannot stress the benefit of sticking with it.
No AA, no God, just me. And some CBT.
Folks, we are not trapped or hostages to alcohol. We just need to take respobsibility and realise that the bad stuff will pass relatively quickly and that the discomfort at the start does not last long and even when you go through it, it's not the worst thing .
Keep the faith, friends, and believe in yourselves. "
Hi Eric, this was quite an inspiring post to at least one member. I used to believe the same thing, and pretty much got what you got. I got tired of spells of temporary sobriety.
The things I had learned to keep me sober, failed to come to mind when I needed them most. Knowledge and technique wasn't enough. And sobriety wasn't actually that good anyway.
When I had suffered enough, permanent sobriety began to look attractive. I didn't really know what my life would be like, living by spiritual principles and all, as I had never done it before. But I was beaten and willing to do anything for the misery to stop.
Is it time for your misery to stop? Are you willing to try something you have never tried before?
I cannot stress the benefit of sticking with it.
No AA, no God, just me. And some CBT.
Folks, we are not trapped or hostages to alcohol. We just need to take respobsibility and realise that the bad stuff will pass relatively quickly and that the discomfort at the start does not last long and even when you go through it, it's not the worst thing .
Keep the faith, friends, and believe in yourselves. "
Hi Eric, this was quite an inspiring post to at least one member. I used to believe the same thing, and pretty much got what you got. I got tired of spells of temporary sobriety.
The things I had learned to keep me sober, failed to come to mind when I needed them most. Knowledge and technique wasn't enough. And sobriety wasn't actually that good anyway.
When I had suffered enough, permanent sobriety began to look attractive. I didn't really know what my life would be like, living by spiritual principles and all, as I had never done it before. But I was beaten and willing to do anything for the misery to stop.
Is it time for your misery to stop? Are you willing to try something you have never tried before?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Hi friends.
I should have also added yesterday that I've been taking sleeping pills.
Anyway, back on the horse.
Thanks for the support.
I am going to do something about it.
I've really learned not to open up to people.
I think it's for fear of being judged, which is preposterous, as currently I'm walking around with a bandage on my head!
Gotalife, I am willing to try new things.
However, I did try AA, if that's what you're getting at?
But things were better when I was less closed.
And I hardly think, let alone talk about my addiction.
Nor other aspects of my life which are uncomfortable for me to consider.
And now this. Horrible anxiety, stomach cramps, dry mouth etc.
Anyway,
I'm finding it hard to concentrate right now.
I'll keep posting.
And I really hope everyone is doing ok.
I should have also added yesterday that I've been taking sleeping pills.
Anyway, back on the horse.
Thanks for the support.
I am going to do something about it.
I've really learned not to open up to people.
I think it's for fear of being judged, which is preposterous, as currently I'm walking around with a bandage on my head!
Gotalife, I am willing to try new things.
However, I did try AA, if that's what you're getting at?
But things were better when I was less closed.
And I hardly think, let alone talk about my addiction.
Nor other aspects of my life which are uncomfortable for me to consider.
And now this. Horrible anxiety, stomach cramps, dry mouth etc.
Anyway,
I'm finding it hard to concentrate right now.
I'll keep posting.
And I really hope everyone is doing ok.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
i had a serious problem using my thinking to fix me.
my thinking got me drunk and more gloom,dispair, and agony.
i had fear of opening upto others about my problems and getting help,yet had no problem with people seeing me knee walking drunk.
yeah,that was quite insane.
amazing how getting the courage to open up got me solutions.
and i havent been knee walkin drunk since.
my thinking got me drunk and more gloom,dispair, and agony.
i had fear of opening upto others about my problems and getting help,yet had no problem with people seeing me knee walking drunk.
yeah,that was quite insane.
amazing how getting the courage to open up got me solutions.
and i havent been knee walkin drunk since.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 36
Hi Eric. Glad you're back. Like you I am facing another day of wanting sobriety...wanting it back. Why do I forget how badly I have wanted it before. When will it stick? When will I decide that I can live my life without hurting myself..without annihiliating myself with ethanol?
I don't know.
I think I can handle sobriety today though.
I don't know.
I think I can handle sobriety today though.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Eric - you learned something valuable. This happened to me too. I now have over 8 yrs. sober. I'm proof that you can rise above this and be even more determined. I'm glad you told us what happened. You'll begin to feel better soon & you never have to go back to that awful place.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Have you considered making a recovery plan Eric?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
No reason to put yourself through that again.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Eric, I was struck by the phrase "just me. And some CBT". I think it's worth echoing what Dee said yesterday about revising your recovery plan.
It might be unpleasant to consider, but that fall could have had quite an effect on your daughters life had you landed a bit differently.
It might be unpleasant to consider, but that fall could have had quite an effect on your daughters life had you landed a bit differently.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Originally Posted by awuh1 
Eric, I was struck by the phrase "just me. And some CBT". I think it's worth echoing what Dee said yesterday about revising your recovery plan.
It might be unpleasant to consider, but that fall could have had quite an effect on your daughters life had you landed a bit differently.
It might be unpleasant to consider, but that fall could have had quite an effect on your daughters life had you landed a bit differently.
I could have died that night and am very lucky.
The recovery plan ideas Dee posted is great.
The notion of a routine each day that makes me focus on recovery is perfect.
Thank you everyone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Couple of weeks sober. It's gone really well.
My recovery plan is coming on but not complete yet.
It's actually good having to focus on my drinking as opposed to trying to forget about it.
As a wise member said, "hoping I feel ok" is not good enough.
My brother's partner is Catholic and wanted their child baptised and the ceremony was today. Against my better judgement I agreed to be godfather, which is ridiculous, as I had to promise to oversee her faith development and I have ZERO faith. But I put it aside and we had a fun day. The cynical side of me isn't always good.
Hope you're all ok, friends.
My recovery plan is coming on but not complete yet.
It's actually good having to focus on my drinking as opposed to trying to forget about it.
As a wise member said, "hoping I feel ok" is not good enough.
My brother's partner is Catholic and wanted their child baptised and the ceremony was today. Against my better judgement I agreed to be godfather, which is ridiculous, as I had to promise to oversee her faith development and I have ZERO faith. But I put it aside and we had a fun day. The cynical side of me isn't always good.
Hope you're all ok, friends.
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