Mountainmanbob

Twice in the past I was only a few weeks short of having 3 years of sobriety and yet, I returned to my running with the Liquid Devil. When I ask myself why two main reasons come to mind.

#1 -- I took my sobriety for granted and put far from my mind the troubles brought on by my drinking. We could say that, I drank again because I felt so darn good. Yes, sometimes one will drink again because things are going so very well. Why not reward myself, right ? Self deception plays in here heavily.

#2 -- I got into the Oh-Poor Me's and rode them to the hilt. Finally giving in to the thought that, life is so bad that I might as well take a drink or two. Which in the end never turned out to be just a drink or two. After I mixed some booze with my Oh-Poor Me's usually in short time it did seem like the world was coming to an end.

Anyone else ever suffer from the above ?

A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob

KAD

I fell mostly under #1. A light, jovial mood coupled with a feeling of "wanting to get into something" would lure me back in very often. Fortunately, this time around I'm quickly reminded of how bad things got the last time. There is a lot of pain still fresh in my mind and consequences I'm still dealing with to this day. Even the smell of alcohol brings it all back. No thanks!

ScottFromWI

Yep, definitely number one for me, multiple times.

Mountainmanbob

I hear you GetMeOut. Just one of mine and I have been sober for almost 9 years -- still paying 2,500 dollars a year for full coverage insurance on two vehicles. That's a heck of a lot of money! But, I'm still amazed that I even have a drivers license. I didn't for a very long time.

As you say, there was also much other wreckage from my past.
But, no need to go there today for it is a very nice sober day.
M-Bob

Dave42001

Hey Bob, hope the bird feeders are full on the mountain!

#1 hits close to home, back in 2012 I changed companies and "things were going so good" I cut back on meetings, but things were so good! A couple years later I relapsed.. Major crash, strait into a deep, dark ditch!

I go to a lot of meetings every week, church on Sunday's and a lot of reading on SR.. Keeps me sober!! Trying to make it to midnight..

Jogus

I can relate to both, but particularly #2. I had almost two years sober but then the Oh-Poor Mes struck when I was renovating the kitchen and the rest of the family was on a camping trip. I thought at least I can have a couple after a hard days work considering I'm missing out big time. The worst is I bust on a bottle of Rose -- who does that?? Anyways, took me about two years to finally get back sober again after many, many mis-fires. The good news is I'll definitely remember what and how it happened! Thanks for reminding me :-)

skipper123

I am only a few months sober but I often have the feeling that I am good so what will a few glasses of wine do? Last time it took seven months to get back on track. I hope I can continue to feel good and not give in . Your posts and time sober are an inspiration for me. Thanks

Nevertheless

In early sobriety,every time I failed was because I was hooked. Plain and simple.
But when it comes to failing after months of sobriety. #1 is why I failed.
I heard the saying years ago at an AA meeting. When it comes to booze,our rememberers are broken,but our forgetters work very well.
It didn't take long for me to forget the reasons I quit. That is why i keep the beer that was next in line to be drank from the night I quit right beside the TV. Every time i see that beer I remember just how hard it is to get the monkey off my back.

Mountainmanbob

Thank you all for reminding me how it was.

So nice to be sober tonight and realize what a blessing it truly is.

Mountainman

SpaceMandrill

Hell yeah, to both of those! Funnily enough, the first one was ever the main culprit. You start feeling fine, feeling good about yourself, then something in your brain goes "click", and you don't even know how or when you bought and drained that first 6-pack. But you know damn well its not gonna be the last one.

I really think its a form of insanity. The brain stops working right for the duration, the capacity for logic and reasoning goes out the window, and getting "just one drink" seems like such a good idea. I'm still unsure of how to deal with this consistently, so I have little advice. So far, riding the urge is working, as well as constantly reminding myself of the reasons to stay sober.

Splash29

I'm 3 years sober too. I'm feeling #1 a lot recently. I've just gone through a bad break-up and have had a lot of pity parties (alcohol free) in my room. I went to a birthday party and I just find myself staring at other people's glasses of wine. To the point that I think I creep them out!

FBL

This is my first "real" attempt at getting and staying sober. I'm now at 7+ years and I come to SR daily to help remind me that I never want to go back. Hopefully, I never will, but I never want to take my amazing new life for granted. Thanks for the reminder!

CLAS

Can definitely say #1 has been my experience. I drank mostly when I felt good and romanticized feeling even better by going to the bar and bantering with the barkeep and the other patrons.

The other thing is, there was the feel-good drinking I did with friends at ball games and out for sushi. Then there was the drinking I did while at home reading or on the computer. This started as feel-good drinking (or more specifically I started because I felt good) but of course woke up next day willing to do anything to have not drank.

BullDog777

Definitely #1 for me too. My last bender lasted about 4 years. By the grace of God I made it back. Just barely though. I'm happy to be alive and much more humble today.

August252015

#1 is what drives me to be so obsessively focused on living a recovered life. I often think about what I *could* end up thinking like sometime down the road and want to shore up everything I can to prevent that, days, months and years before it could crash on me.

Mountainmanbob

Seems to be very important to keep sobriety on the mind. I'm not even sure regarding how many times a day that I think of my sobriety and how much leading a normal life depends on it. I guess that a big part of it is because I don't want to forget as I did so many times before. Oh yes, there were several times in my life when I stopped drinking and started to work a Program. Then in time thinking that it was not that important and taking my sober, much easier life for granted. Ending up once more with a beer in my hand. And the slow downhill slide had started yet again.

I ponder this question,
how many times have I fooled myself ?
I think that I would need a calculator to figure that one out.

A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob

obiwan

I just fixed and restrung my Les Paul - thats one good reason for staying sober

zjw

at 1 year sober i wanted to celebrate with a drink... figure that out. and the thought crossed my mind each anniversary there after too. you've done so well why not have a drink to celebrate? Insane yep.

Even last night I explained to my wife if not for the panic i'd gladlyu throw away all the achievments and go back to drinking. she looked at me like i was insane. I 'm like oh i totally agree its insane but i'm an alcohlolic. I realize this about myself and wont actually do it but there is a side of me that just doesnt care. she says throw away yoru family everything? I said no no i dont actually think through that far ahead I just think about the joyous fantasy of it when i think it through sure that does all come to mind at some point but going into it i'd figure it'd all just be fine. Nuts yep sure is!

the poor mes? yeah i go through phases with that sometimes there is a reason sometimes there isnt. I was in a really bad funk a few weeks ago really struggled to scrape myself up off the matt. The thing is tho I recogonized what was happeing quickly and started to fight it. it took a couple weeks but I snapped out of it. Back in my drinking days I would not have even realized what was going on.

Che

It's a hard one. You need ways of dealing with both that don't involve alcohol. How do you celebrate, and how do you cope. If you can't figure it out, you're in real trouble.

Mountainmanbob

I celebrate outside while smoking a cigar with our goats. They seem to understand me well. And since I have sobered up we hardly never have those terrible arguments like we used to have when I was drinking.

The love of a goat will keep you straight.

Mountainman