Berrybean

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SoberLife90

I know for myself if I tried to drink moderately it would only be a matter of time before I was drinking uncontrollably the way I always used to. I had to admit to myself that my body can not handle alcohol the way normal drinkers do.

Che

I think bargaining is a pretty clear trademark of addiction. If you can't take it or leave it, not drink less than once a week, not think of other things you'd rather do most of the time... Just leave it behind you. You're getting older, don't let it control your whole life.

Alkolik

Yes im getting older. Today im 30 my bithday. Its why i think about my alcohol problem. Getting older and im gonna die anyway one day. So what if i drink one two beers and few cigarets sometimes? Its best trick of my alcholik side of mind against me. Dont know what to do. Man has to do decisions quickly, im good about that evrytime, but when its come to alcohol i dont know. Just feeling weak against it.

Dee74

Happy Birthday

I got lost due to my drinking. I would look at the face I saw in the mirror and be ashamed. I was disgusted with myself.

I'm not ashamed anymore, and my life is full, I'm happier than I've been, I have self respect and the respect of others.

My life now is about living, not just existing.

I could never had this life, and this sense of peace, as a drinker.

That's my answer to your mind's 'so what'.

You're stronger that your desires. Everytime you refuse to drink, you get stronger.

Use all the support you can for help...this could be your best year yet

D

Alkolik

Thx dee, hawing friends here who always says truth is wery goond and important thing.

When drinking i feel like im happy, but its not true at all, im just sad at that moment. And alcohol cause its self sadnedd and clear it.

Its makes me remember bad things so little relaxing become live nightmare. Ive join many thing in my military career, alcohol send me go back there again after a while, or much more back after that, to bad days always. I cant live with bad memories all the time. Relaxing its created copletly not true, just idle nightmares.

Today is my birthday. Wery confused. I hawe to take decision today. Ive newer celebrate birthday before but i want to clear my mind abd celebtete birthday of my new life today. May creator help me.

Dave42001

Happy Birthday!!

Good thing is you're a young buck! I finally thew in the towel at 46 and crawled in to my local AA group and surrendered to king alcohol! There's a lot of support groups out there, pick one and give it an honest try!

Also I can't tell you how valuable this site, "SR" is in my personal recovery! I've been an active member for almost 4 years!! There's a lot of wisdom and knowledge to be gathered! We've all been there and just want to help!!

Again, Happy Birthday to you!!

DG

fini

you know, Alkolik, you don't have to: "I hawe to take decision today."
if you decide today to keep drinking, you can change that decision.
for me, i decided many times to stop and then drank anyway.

Getting older and im gonna die anyway one day. So what if.....
true enough.
getting older and you'll die.
what's not true, and certainly doesn't follow logically, is that therefore the rest of your life doesn't matter. that it's a "shrug, so what?"

what brought you here?
i'm guessing it's at the very least an awareness that there's a problem, and a hope that there's hope.

Berrybean

Aha. Sounds like your AV is pretty loud. And it will be if you keep feeding it.

You ask - what's the problem if you drink one or two beers (the smoking is a separate issue so I'm not even going to go there -maybe someone else who tried to quit both at the same time can offer some suggestions about that. I don't think I would have wanted to be dealing with both things at once). Anyway. So, what IS the problem.

For a start off, this one or two thing? Can you reliably just have one or two? Do you even really just want to have one or two? Really? I think if it was just one or two, you wouldn't even be on this forum. The problem is that once we start, we cannot promise ourselves that we can just stop after one or two. It becomes, one more, and another, and another, and then, oh what's the point, I'll do it tomorrow, and then becomes 'I can't do it - why me?!?!' Etc etc.

Step one in AA is all about considering the effect of alcohol on our life and ourself and others. Perhaps that would be a tool that you could utilise. Write all that stuff down, and read it back to yourself whenever you start asking yourself (or your AV asks you) questions like, what harm would one or two drinks cause. Because, if alcohol REALLY made your life better in the way your AV promises you, you wouldn't BE here on this forum. Our AVS are liars. We need to recognise that voice in our heads for what it is, and learn to ignore it. (Arguing with it is exhausting and pointless, because it doesn't come from a perspective of honesty or reason). The only way to gradually quiet it is by starving the little bugger. And every time you take a drink, you feed it and give it more power.

BB

MelindaFlowers

I found it easier to abstain completely than to moderate. (I was never able to moderate).

Maybe I should say that I found abstinence possible and moderation impossible.

Sobriety is a simple equation: 0 + 0 = 0

Moderation is complicated: 1 + ? = ?

Berrybean

Exactly MF!!! All those dangerous variables.
And statistically....

? > 3

Delizadee

Alkolik, we are awfully good at fooling ourselves when it comes to av or default living.
I understand the "what is the point?" feeling... I hit that every time I sobered up in the last year and went back to drinking because being sober didn't fix everything right away (instant gratification).
Figure out your motivations, be honest with yourself, make a decision, make a plan, take action.
Recovery is a much better life for all of us. It takes some work and getting ok with the discomforts of life and learning some patience.
Moderation... meh. I'd rather learn to live life to the fullest than chase the impossible dream of moderation because that completely obliterates all my other dreams, aspirations and motivations.