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Could anyone have "saved" you from the road to alcoholism



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Could anyone have "saved" you from the road to alcoholism

Old 07-19-2016, 10:25 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Add me to the "no" list.

As crazy as it sounds, I needed every drink I took in order to get me to the place where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to be drunk, and nothing anyone else said or did could have short-circuited the process.
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Old 07-20-2016, 11:55 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by slipped View Post
ooking back, when your drinking started escalating, can you think of anything anyone could have done to help you?
Nope! Not my husband, family, friends, therapist, doctor, boss, liquor store employee, well-meaning strangers, no one. And especially not my self. No-thing and No-one could have helped me. Not even the people in AA directly...they just directed me to the only one being who could.

"God could and would if He were sought."
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Old 07-20-2016, 12:54 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Probably, but I think it's important to take responsibility for yourself too. And I think the only reason it would have been effective is because getting real support would have been such a novelty I'd have been shocked and excited by it.

I think when I was most pathetic, I drank lots of times thinking "if someone just reaches out to me I won't have anything tonight."

Sometimes you see someone who has such incredible support from their friends and family that they're just from a completely different world. But those people still have problems, and that support only goes so far. Most of what you do is just you, no one to thank or blame. But say thanks anyway because it's polite haha.
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Old 07-20-2016, 01:15 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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I 30+ year addict too, Slip. I guess I one of few for who you gonna has to pry blame from my cold dead hoofs. My addictive behaviors start at age 9 with binging, purging, anorexica, cutting and then move onto to alcoholism and drugs. Was clear and apparent downslide.

Parents or any other adult in life could had step in. I was good, shy kid who teachers like. Not rebellious until later. I never will understand why nobody step up. Parents actual would buy me alcohol for gifts when I still underage. They was not alcoholics, they just turn blind eye to my problems. As long as I getting A's everything all good I guess.

Yes, I know is total my responsibility now, but does I still have blame for them, oh hell yeah.

(I did forgive my mama, though.)
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Old 07-20-2016, 06:53 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Doubt it, and alcoholism runs in my family. My dad nearly died multiple times (and then got sober) before I was born. I had been made aware, warned, etc. It didnt change anything. Denial.
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Old 07-20-2016, 07:14 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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No one could have stopped me, my daughters tried everything and I just denied there was a problem.

I had to get sick and tired of being sick and tired before I could get sober for good.
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Old 07-20-2016, 07:23 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Mattq2 View Post
I think I was an alcoholic before I ever took a drink. I loved it from the first drink. I also don't think anyone could change it because so many people around me tried to get me to stop. I think I had to travel the road but I choose to never drink again.
I agree with you 100%. The first time i drank it was the same way. I even went as far as not dating people who DIDNT drink...so i wouldnt be judged. I think i missed out on a lot 😞
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Old 07-21-2016, 06:24 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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I was always more of a weed guy in my 20s, but I could tell I had alcoholic potential even back then. When I didn't have weed I'd always drink solely to get drunk, and I'd drink alone without blinking. I must have known there was trouble ahead cause I quit in 1993 and rarely even thought about it for years.

What I blame myself for is starting back up in 2001 when I should have known better. It's not like I was trying to drink socially or moderate either; I was looking for the pleasure of being drunk, pure and simple. Talk about hubris.
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Old 07-22-2016, 08:53 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SlickRick07 View Post
Yes. My parents could have told me it ran in my family, or actually cared. Or my friends. But, sometimes life doesn't work like that. People do get left behind. If I had a support structure do I think I would have drank so much? No, not at all.
Although I do not like to deny my own part in my drinking, I also feel that it could have been avoided. I asked for help repeatedly for the issues that plagued me. I actually "dogged" people for feedback, possible solutions, anything. But the subject is still heavily stigmatized. I'm still very very angry - and now I have to work on this. I was a "teatotaller" before drinking: hadn't touched it for 23 years since my casual use during college. Now I'm getting no support in recovery either (hard drinking town/lot's of denial and hypocrisy). Thank goodness for Sober Recovery. I will try to accept criticism and I know that my thinking will be challenged, BUT it will be in a spirit of helpfulness and kindness. So. Better late than never.
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Old 07-22-2016, 09:52 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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No way. I learn all my lessons the hard way. It was not until I hit rock bottom that I would listen to someone else's advice and direction. Up until I almost died from drinking I thought I knew everything.
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Old 07-22-2016, 10:36 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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No
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Old 07-22-2016, 10:44 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by zjw View Post
i was warned growing up that alcoholism runs in the family and i better be careful etc... blah blah blah i never listened *sigh*
This is me too. I was warned before I even started drinking and I didn't listen.
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Old 07-22-2016, 10:53 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by emme99 View Post
This is me too. I was warned before I even started drinking and I didn't listen.
I was warned as well. Mainly by my grandmother and grandfather. My grandfather had been an alcoholic. He stopped somewhere around age 35-40 and never drank again. My mother eventually died from it. Drug overdose/suicide. Her death helped me want to get sober for good.

It does seem to run in the family. Small percentages, but it's there.

My clue should've been that I was fourth generation (as far as known, anyway).

But don't we all rush headlong into life feeling invincible, that we've got all the time in the world, and that somehow we won't make the same mistakes? Maybe not all of us, but I was one of those who felt certain I had to make my own decisions and choices, and that it would never do to avoid something like alcohol solely because I was told to by older family members. It wasn't that I didn't heed their warning; it did scare me. But I felt certain it wouldn't happen to ME. I was the exception. I was different.
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Old 07-25-2016, 04:41 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Interesting...I would be someone who would say that I would have definitely avoided the path of alcoholism if I had help. A bit of digging around revealed a family history full of alcoholics, depressives and suicides.


I had severe, undiagnosed depression -partially genetics and partially family circumstances for a long time. If I had diagnosis and treatment in my teens when every night I prayed to get a brain tumour for a 'get out of jail free' card then I think that the core problem would have been dealt with, rather than the secondary problem of alcoholism eventually appearing. Now that I am finally tackling the root cause, I have found that the desire to drink has gone away. I feel sometimes unbearable sadness for the 35 years that I have spent stuffing up my life but I am in a great place at last, and I am deeply thankful for every minute now.

Everyone's path to becoming an alcoholic is different and my path in no way means that someone else's is less valid.
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Old 07-25-2016, 06:35 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by hiho View Post
Interesting...I would be someone who would say that I would have definitely avoided the path of alcoholism if I had help. A bit of digging around revealed a family history full of alcoholics, depressives and suicides.


I had severe, undiagnosed depression -partially genetics and partially family circumstances for a long time. If I had diagnosis and treatment in my teens when every night I prayed to get a brain tumour for a 'get out of jail free' card then I think that the core problem would have been dealt with, rather than the secondary problem of alcoholism eventually appearing. Now that I am finally tackling the root cause, I have found that the desire to drink has gone away. I feel sometimes unbearable sadness for the 35 years that I have spent stuffing up my life but I am in a great place at last, and I am deeply thankful for every minute now.

Everyone's path to becoming an alcoholic is different and my path in no way means that someone else's is less valid.
I have a similar story. My lifestyle overall became a lot healthier once I couldn't say "I want to die" anymore. Brain tumor or otherwise, it's a deathwish where you don't want to make other people feel guilty about a suicide. You can neither die nor live when you want that.
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Old 07-25-2016, 07:15 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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No. Sad to say, but the choices I made led to the choice I made. I avoided alcohol like the plague when I was younger because I watched what it did to my Mother But I apparently thought I would be different. Then I married someone who on our first date I said to him you drink to much and the merry go round ride began. I am so glad to be of the ride and with this SR community that is the bright spot in the story
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Old 07-25-2016, 07:32 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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I wish warnings and admonishments from others over the years had even just slowed me down, but that often seemed only to embolden me instead. This bothers me, because I warned both of my children that alcoholism tends to run in the family, and it would probably be best if they didn't tempt fate. Do I think it will make a difference? I sincerely hope so. Unfortunately, I imagine it would only be something one, or both, would remember after it becomes a problem for them. I pray that it doesn't. I pray they won't succumb to an addiction to anything. I would hate to imagine anyone else going through the things I've put myself through.
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Old 09-15-2016, 09:20 PM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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I know this was an old post, but I've been thinking about this question for quite awhile now. I have decided, yes, there may have been one thing that could have saved me.

For me nothing any sane person would have listended to would have worked - your family members have it, so will you. It will stunt your emotional development. It will ruin your friendships and personal relationships. It will give health problems in new and creative ways. I was young and couldn't be told anything, and still have a hard time accepting lessons that aren't learned in the hardest of ways.

The way to have saved me? Probably invoke my skepticism from the very beginning! If I had come across this bottle I would have probably read it, LMAO, and then just passed right by.

This bottle will:
- Make you better looking
- Make you less awkward
- Make you some good lifelong friends
- Make you better with the ladies
- Make you smarter
- Make you a better conversationalist
- Make you more confident
- Make you a better interviewer
- Make you able to have "moment of clarity"
- Make you able to excel at your job

And so on! I think you get the idea. Had I seen that bottle... I may never have touched the stuff because I would known what an absolute lie was stuffed down in that bottle. No reasonable person would ever have listened to such nonsense presented in such an absurd way - at least I wouldn't have.

Unfortunately, little by little, at one time or another I came to believe those things, until I deluded myself into believing I wanted it... needed it. To this day, I can't help but feel that certain situations wouldn't be improved with just a little bit of the good stuff, while every reasonable remaining brain cell (and there aren't many left) is screaming "No!" And sadly, how often they get drowned out now.

Here's to chipping away all of the nonsense and getting back to reality.

EH
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Old 09-15-2016, 10:53 PM
  # 59 (permalink)  
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In order for it to make any sense, I would reframe the question to "Is there anyone on the planet who is more powerful than my addiction?"
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Old 09-16-2016, 05:19 AM
  # 60 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by slipped View Post
ooking back, when your drinking started escalating, can you think of anything anyone could have done to help you?
nope. i shot off like a rocket and stayed at mach 5 till i slammed face first into reality. Many people tried and failed.
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