I think I need help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 123
I think I need help
Hey everyone,
I am back. Been having some issues. Long term Boyfriend and I broke up and went on a horrible drinking binge that lasted for days. Anywhere from 4-10 drinks a day, going out to bars. Amazing that I could even get up and go to work.
Anyway I know I need to stop doing this. I looked at my bank account balance today and I'm spending money don't even have, being totally irresponsible but the pain of the breakup was totally overwhelming. I wanted to kill myself, the first few days were pretty rough and drinking was the only thing that seemed to be able to numb down the feelings of anger, and anxiety.
I should take a vacation away from alcohol, maybe permanently. I can't use this as my primary coping mechanism or I will ruin my health. I guess at times I was thinking it doesn't matter, I am sick of life anyway and if drinking hastens my demise perhaps that's a good thing.
Sorry to share all these f*ed up feelings but I figured this would be the place to do it.
-Z
I am back. Been having some issues. Long term Boyfriend and I broke up and went on a horrible drinking binge that lasted for days. Anywhere from 4-10 drinks a day, going out to bars. Amazing that I could even get up and go to work.
Anyway I know I need to stop doing this. I looked at my bank account balance today and I'm spending money don't even have, being totally irresponsible but the pain of the breakup was totally overwhelming. I wanted to kill myself, the first few days were pretty rough and drinking was the only thing that seemed to be able to numb down the feelings of anger, and anxiety.
I should take a vacation away from alcohol, maybe permanently. I can't use this as my primary coping mechanism or I will ruin my health. I guess at times I was thinking it doesn't matter, I am sick of life anyway and if drinking hastens my demise perhaps that's a good thing.
Sorry to share all these f*ed up feelings but I figured this would be the place to do it.
-Z
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I'm sorry for your break up. Hurts like crazy....been there. Drinking only delays the inevitable grieving process so may as well get on with it. Don't know how long you were together but the sooner you let go the sooner you will heal. Its a process for sure.
If you're an alcoholic than taking a vacation, a permanent one, from booze is necessary. Only you can decide.
If you're an alcoholic than taking a vacation, a permanent one, from booze is necessary. Only you can decide.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
I'm sorry you are hurting right now, but happy you have reached out and are realizing that drinking is not solving anything.
I think most of us at a point in time thought that alcohol was the only way we could cope with something stressful or hurtful. The reality of it though is that alcohol is a depressant it is effectively only making you MORE depressed and MORE stressed out.
Have you considered counseling? It might be helpful to let out all your feelings and get some unbiased feedback. Counselors can also teach you healthy and productive ways to handle anxiety, stress, and depression. Going to a psychiatrist can also help if you are feeling like you do not want to live or that life is just too much- there are medicines that can help you with that, you do not need to struggle alone!
Do you have a recovery plan? Journaling, creating a support system, picking what recovery program you agree with and click with, and taking steps to change things around are all necessary if you want to find recovery.
Keep reaching out!
I think most of us at a point in time thought that alcohol was the only way we could cope with something stressful or hurtful. The reality of it though is that alcohol is a depressant it is effectively only making you MORE depressed and MORE stressed out.
Have you considered counseling? It might be helpful to let out all your feelings and get some unbiased feedback. Counselors can also teach you healthy and productive ways to handle anxiety, stress, and depression. Going to a psychiatrist can also help if you are feeling like you do not want to live or that life is just too much- there are medicines that can help you with that, you do not need to struggle alone!
Do you have a recovery plan? Journaling, creating a support system, picking what recovery program you agree with and click with, and taking steps to change things around are all necessary if you want to find recovery.
Keep reaching out!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
yeah sounds depressing. And like Adeline said alcohol is a depressent so I geuss while it will numb it out momentarily after it starts two wear off the depression probably gets a bit worse each time cuasing you to sink lower and lower.
best thing you can do is to stop drinking it will stink having to face reality but in time it will ease up and get better. Its likely tho if you dont quit the dirnking depression will get worse and worse etc..
try to hang in there.
best thing you can do is to stop drinking it will stink having to face reality but in time it will ease up and get better. Its likely tho if you dont quit the dirnking depression will get worse and worse etc..
try to hang in there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 123
yeah I went to see a therapist already. I don't have a lot of money and my health insurance plan just sucks right now. He charges $180 and I can't afford to keep going. I asked him if maybe he could find an anxiety & depression support group for me. He said he'd look into it. I will go to AA if I have to. Might be the best thing for me anyway.
Originally Posted by AdelineRose 
I'm sorry you are hurting right now, but happy you have reached out and are realizing that drinking is not solving anything.
I think most of us at a point in time thought that alcohol was the only way we could cope with something stressful or hurtful. The reality of it though is that alcohol is a depressant it is effectively only making you MORE depressed and MORE stressed out.
Have you considered counseling? It might be helpful to let out all your feelings and get some unbiased feedback. Counselors can also teach you healthy and productive ways to handle anxiety, stress, and depression. Going to a psychiatrist can also help if you are feeling like you do not want to live or that life is just too much- there are medicines that can help you with that, you do not need to struggle alone!
Do you have a recovery plan? Journaling, creating a support system, picking what recovery program you agree with and click with, and taking steps to change things around are all necessary if you want to find recovery.
Keep reaching out!
I think most of us at a point in time thought that alcohol was the only way we could cope with something stressful or hurtful. The reality of it though is that alcohol is a depressant it is effectively only making you MORE depressed and MORE stressed out.
Have you considered counseling? It might be helpful to let out all your feelings and get some unbiased feedback. Counselors can also teach you healthy and productive ways to handle anxiety, stress, and depression. Going to a psychiatrist can also help if you are feeling like you do not want to live or that life is just too much- there are medicines that can help you with that, you do not need to struggle alone!
Do you have a recovery plan? Journaling, creating a support system, picking what recovery program you agree with and click with, and taking steps to change things around are all necessary if you want to find recovery.
Keep reaching out!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
yeah check out AA. Talking it out helps. post here or communicate with others etc.. I think that is something I was missing out on when i drank and in early sobriety. I didnt talk to anyone I internalized it all and those few I did speak too didnt really understand and where getting increasinly tired of listening to me this just made me more depressed. In time tho I started to find some like minded folks and theres nothing better then having someone to vent too who can go OH man yeah your telling me I had a prob like that too. Someitmes just getting stuff off our chests can really help.
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Hi Z - I'm glad you wanted to talk things over here.
I think rather than a vacation, you should consider stopping all together. I tried the vacation idea - each time I started up again it was more horrible than the last time. No control - off the tracks behavior & misery. It was much easier to stop all together than to keep putting myself through that hell. It feels so good to be free of it after a lifetime of trying to control it.
I think rather than a vacation, you should consider stopping all together. I tried the vacation idea - each time I started up again it was more horrible than the last time. No control - off the tracks behavior & misery. It was much easier to stop all together than to keep putting myself through that hell. It feels so good to be free of it after a lifetime of trying to control it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 65
I'm so sorry you've been hurt. The fact that you see a problem in it so soon is really great. I know for me drinking to numb the pain of my breakup spiraled into around four years of almost nightly binge drinking and many bad decisions. I didn't properly cope with a lot of my pain until the past year, and probably only because I was drinking a lot less.
You are clearly a strong person. You can do this. There will always be something to cope with in life. Finding new coping mechanisms is really difficult, but it's necessary, otherwise alcohol will always be a fallback. Therapy helped me a lot. Also, my sister taught me mindfulness, which she learned in therapy. Focusing on my immediate surroundings and breathing helps me calm down a lot, and it's something that isn't easily done if you've been drinking.
I promise you can get through this. This time is all about you and helping yourself.
You are clearly a strong person. You can do this. There will always be something to cope with in life. Finding new coping mechanisms is really difficult, but it's necessary, otherwise alcohol will always be a fallback. Therapy helped me a lot. Also, my sister taught me mindfulness, which she learned in therapy. Focusing on my immediate surroundings and breathing helps me calm down a lot, and it's something that isn't easily done if you've been drinking.
I promise you can get through this. This time is all about you and helping yourself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 411
Hey, Butterfly. I totally relate, being somewhat of an expert on post-breakup benders. All I can say is that the booze may help you forget temporarily, but ultimately you have to go through the feelings, and it's a lot easier, and quicker, if you're sober. Looking back I think maybe my self hate made me want to torture myself :/
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 95
You are a worthwhile person who does not need to punish herself just because a relationship did not work out...at least, that's what I have told myself during sobriety.
My drinking kept me from connecting with people and achieving intimacy, but when I could not achieve intimacy, I would drink more or do more drugs. It was a vicious circle. You don't have to do that to yourself. Life already has enough little surprises without us having to make things even tougher than they are.
My drinking kept me from connecting with people and achieving intimacy, but when I could not achieve intimacy, I would drink more or do more drugs. It was a vicious circle. You don't have to do that to yourself. Life already has enough little surprises without us having to make things even tougher than they are.
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