Soberpotamus

This is a thread for those of us who desire to make changes in our lives, to make things better, to go after the things we want. Now that we're sober, we might realize ... hey, things can be better.

Deferred dreams are being resurrected, and then ... realized.

It takes visualization, planning, and work; it can be stressful. And that's why it's good to support one another through these big life changes.

I'm working on making changes in these areas: work, business, creative writing, marriage, selling my home, and building a cabin

venuscat

Beautifully put, and thank you for this thread J. ♥

Anna

And, this year has a been a period of big changes for you already. It looks like there will be more to come. Go Jennie!

Soberpotamus

Yes, Anna, and I guess I should mention here that it's somewhat of a continuation from the Soberpotamus Oral Surgery threads, where I journaled (and cried, and ranted, and finally, rejoiced) about my fears and concerns surrounding the surgery and the recovery afterward. That was a huge life change for me -- one that I'd wanted for over ten years. It was an amazing experience for me, in so many ways. After having gone through it, I realized I won't stop there. I want to keep going and make even more changes.

Life is precious. The things we put off today become things we don't do, and later, become things we might regret. We only have so much time.

So, let's figure out, together, what matters to each of us, and support one another in making the requisite changes.

Anna

And, what I love, is that you are shaping your future. You aren't waiting for things to fall into your lap. You are making things happen in your life and that's fantastic.

lunar

Wow.

I'd better start venturing out of the "Newcomer's" thread
just a bit more often.

This is a great topic, SP!

My mind is confused, I started to type what I wanted to say,
at least a dozen times, since early this morning, then went blank.

The main thing I'd like to change would be to revert back to
juggling my plethora of hobbies and activities, fully....
now that I'm sober. Start living again. Staying aware.
Facing my priorities head-on.

Drinking had the effect of slipping my life out of forward gear
and leaving it in neutral. Stuck in nothingness. The black hole.

Time to get back into astronomy, astro and regular photography,
the outdoors, studying the bible,
studying trees, plants, mushrooms and wild edibles,
maintaining my arachnid collection,
building and programming computers,
reading a multitude of books,
teaching myself advanced computer graphics,
walking, exercising, birdwatching, hiking my property, fishing, hunting, etc, etc, etc.
Also spending more time with loved ones and what's left of family.

stevieg46

Hi Soberpotamus , now that the obsession to drink/use is no longer there we figure out that it is time to look forward to better times ahead whereas before all we had to look forward to was the ''agains ''.

Today I can plan how to live my life completely free from addiction , I, when I plan to do something or I would like to do something (on a larger scale usually ) I use the ''PRAM'' system .

PRAM means .
P = precise .
R = realistic .
A =achieveable .
M =maintainable /or measurable .

I find this very helpful in lots of circumstances as it allows us to think something through rather than just rushing into things .take care.

Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006

fantail

Oh I'm on this train too. Yay, good thread.

Right now I'm in CA. Just completed my move from here. I'm still not sure yet where my next direction is headed but it feels good to put an end to things here. In some ways my life here was enabling me... not my alcoholism (although it was doing that in some ways) but my lack of forward momentum. Leaving the friends and the city and the routines is getting me to move forward again. Still trying to figure out what that means.

trachemys

Good thread, 'potamus. Got some big changes to make in my life coming.

Jsbodhi

Good thread!

Well my goals never really change!
Thinking about expanding my business
Continue on in university ( probably for the rest of my life.....)
Some travel
Get better at hobbies like guitar and painting
Quit smoking
Pay off all my debt.
Don't drink

Venecia

Good thread, SP. Thanks for starting it.

I find myself in transitions, or preparing for them, that span the spectrum. As someone who doesn't handle change all that well, I find that a lot weighs on my mind. And, being solo, I am often alone with my thoughts.

It's hard to know where to start. My mother, whom I love dearly, continues to decline, health-wise. I just don't know how long she'll be with us.

I'm emerging from a failed romance, the hurt probably being more from the end of hope than the end of a relationship with this specific guy, though I cared about him. Time has helped. But the truth? I'm one of those people who tends to default to thinking if "only I'd been better." I wonder how much of that is inextricably entwined with my alcoholism, though I am closing in on three years of sobriety/recovery. This was the first time I'd been with someone in a long time.

What is perhaps of the greatest consequence, at this moment, is where I'm at, career-wise. I like my job. I like it a lot. But at the start of the year, I got a mediocre performance review. I'm not used to that. In all candor, there was some merit to it; I didn't meet some goals. But the flip side? There were things that could have been accomplished had my boss been more on the ball, if she'd responded to concerns I raised about the areas where her input was needed. Case in point: I'm finally about to get a huge project done. But it sat on her desk from August until last week. There's not a good reason this project couldn't have been finished by the start of October. Her lack of attentiveness to our work is an ongoing issue that frustrates others, too.

There are times when she can be nearly impossible. Rude, self-absorbed, superior. We start projects that we never complete because she moves on to other ideas; by her own admission, she is obsessed with planning but not necessarily with getting things moved toward the finish line. People regularly leave our small department in an organization otherwise known for longevity among its workforce. In fact, one is leaving next week.

I applied for a new job last week. No idea whether I'll be considered a contender. And I am at an age when I need to be careful about next steps because there aren't *that* many years left in my career. The good news is that I know better than to go running to something else. The job I applied for is one I think I'd genuinely like. It would allow me to continue working under the larger umbrella of my employer, thus keeping good retirement benefits intact.

It could be worse. My boss is in one of her "good" phases (but they don't last that long). And I've been in the opposite camp, liking and respecting my boss but feeling utterly desperate to escape a job I disliked in an organization I didn't particularly respect. That's actually worse.

So I'm not looking for answers or solutions. I'm just grateful for a chance to talk (well, write) about it all.

Jsbodhi

Ah I get it, your old thread is closed! I just went there to check in!
I'll be sure to come to this one now

Soberpotamus

I really enjoyed reading all your posts. I am so tired that I think I'll wait to reply in greater detail tomorrow.

Lunar, I love all your interests and hobbies! So interesting.

Thanks, everyone. I read each one, and really appreciate your replies, and your shares about where you are with things right now in your lives.

It will be fun and interesting to keep up with one another and to watch how we all progress.

Jeni26

Oh I'm in, thanks for the thread. I'm needing to make some big life changes, and right now I'm in that transition phase of wondering whether I ought to actively start planning, or sit back and just see where life takes me.

I'm thinking that probably the first thing I need to take care of is me. I've been living in a lot of anxiety and it has taken it's toll, but I feel I'm just now starting to move through that phase.

If I'm to make big changes re my living situation or my job, I need to be as strong and stable as I can, because change for me is the very hardest thing.

martina12

I'm in too.

I made some decisions over the weekend about my living situation. I am still tied to an ex partner and in that we both own this house but I really want to get free of the memories. Its going to take a lot of courage and determination to negotiate a deal and it will probably involve a lot of court costs.

I want to shed those shackles and start again with my 2 children even if it means we live in a very small place in the back and beyond!

I have been putting this off for years and years by drinking.

Now that I am stronger and more stable I want and need to do this!

Soberpotamus

Same for me, Jeni. Change is really hard sometimes, and unsettling.

It helps so much to talk (and write) about it, as we go through it. To at least know we aren't alone.

Soberpotamus

That sounds like it will be a great change for you, Martina. Glad you're here on the thread.

Soberpotamus

Sounds like a positive move forward, Fantail. Do you have friends out there already in CA?

Soberpotamus

I can relate! Feeling stuck in that black of hole of nothingness, yes, I was probably there at the end of my drinking. Kind of spinning my wheels. I got tired of it though, and that's when I had to put a stop to the drinking.

So glad we are no longer in that place!

Soberpotamus

I like the system, Stevie! This makes good sense. I might write this on my big whiteboard.