Big Life Changes Support Group
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Originally Posted by fantail 
I applied for two more jobs today. One in particular I have my fingers crossed for, I'm super qualified and it's a good fit. (as opposed to the majority of job applications where I'm just kind of like, ummmm.... Sure I bet I could figure that out! No I never expect to hear from you. Have a good day.)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Hey, guys. It's been quite a week for me. I accomplished a lot at home. I was off work for five consecutive days. I went back to work today, though, and I'll work tomorrow, as well. Then I'm off until next Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I work three days per week now. I can now resume my proofreading course study and finish that project.
I'm putting together my Adirondack chairs and will be painting them with Danish oil. I've put most of my plants into the flower beds. I've yet to put down weed barrier and mulch. It's been a tough job. I'm also stringing up some patio lights. It should look really nice when I'm finished. I might take a pic of the end result. I have some large ferns and other house plants placed throughout our house at all the windows.
I bought some new artwork to hang in the bedroom, as well. Still debating that one. Not totally satisfied with it yet. I'm being very particular, but I can't help it. It will bother me if I put up something that just doesn't work.
I'm still purging my closet. That's slow going. I keep moving things to the back or side until I feel ready to part with a particular item. Who knew it was this hard to get rid of clothes? I guess I have become attached to things. It's freeing to finally let go.
I've cleared up a few more clutter piles this week. It's not visually that much, but every pile that dwindles is a huge success. If you only knew what I'm dealing with, lol. I never knew the guy I married would present such a chronic problem.
More later...
(I'm typing on the iPad from my bubble bath and very afraid I might lose this, so I'll go ahead and post.)
I'm putting together my Adirondack chairs and will be painting them with Danish oil. I've put most of my plants into the flower beds. I've yet to put down weed barrier and mulch. It's been a tough job. I'm also stringing up some patio lights. It should look really nice when I'm finished. I might take a pic of the end result. I have some large ferns and other house plants placed throughout our house at all the windows.
I bought some new artwork to hang in the bedroom, as well. Still debating that one. Not totally satisfied with it yet. I'm being very particular, but I can't help it. It will bother me if I put up something that just doesn't work.
I'm still purging my closet. That's slow going. I keep moving things to the back or side until I feel ready to part with a particular item. Who knew it was this hard to get rid of clothes? I guess I have become attached to things. It's freeing to finally let go.
I've cleared up a few more clutter piles this week. It's not visually that much, but every pile that dwindles is a huge success. If you only knew what I'm dealing with, lol. I never knew the guy I married would present such a chronic problem.
More later...
(I'm typing on the iPad from my bubble bath and very afraid I might lose this, so I'll go ahead and post.)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
A sexual harassment incident happened tonight at work. It was the garden center manager. It was disturbing to me. He seems to be a nice guy. And I am sure he meant it as a compliment. The conversation lasted for thirty minutes. It wasn't a quick comment and then done. It went on and on.
It was a risky move on his part, and if he's doing it to others (I'll assume he must be), he is certainly jeopardizing his job.
My husband didn't handle hearing about it very well. Not surprising.
An SR friend and I exchanged some thoughts about it, which did help.
Still, quite disturbing.
It was a risky move on his part, and if he's doing it to others (I'll assume he must be), he is certainly jeopardizing his job.
My husband didn't handle hearing about it very well. Not surprising.
An SR friend and I exchanged some thoughts about it, which did help.
Still, quite disturbing.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
That's not good J.
30 minutes? I imagine you tried to shut him down.
And I would imagine you don't want to stir the pot at work.
I'm glad you told B.
Perhaps he can show up at work, and make it clear to this guy that you are not available.
30 minutes? I imagine you tried to shut him down.
And I would imagine you don't want to stir the pot at work.
I'm glad you told B.
Perhaps he can show up at work, and make it clear to this guy that you are not available.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
That's outrageous. I really hope he doesn't make this a habit. Do you have any recourse or do you need to just hope he stops? (I say this not because the latter ever should be the case! Just knowing it often is) Is he the type to take revenge on you for not taking him up on it?
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
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Thanks, guys.
V, I didn't attempt to shut him down. I was ... fairly stunned. It surprised me. Kind of blindsided me, I guess. He had complimented me before, but this was over the top and bordering on disgusting at one point.
I think he has some issues. He seemed to be speaking out loud things better left unsaid.
I will let it slide this time, but if it happens again I'll say something to him. And after that, I'll consider going above him.
I hope my reaction was enough, at this point, to inform him that he crossed a line. But if he's doing it for the reaction, then this won't stop him. He'll probably continue. Not sure yet why he decided to tell me these things.
V, I didn't attempt to shut him down. I was ... fairly stunned. It surprised me. Kind of blindsided me, I guess. He had complimented me before, but this was over the top and bordering on disgusting at one point.
I think he has some issues. He seemed to be speaking out loud things better left unsaid.
I will let it slide this time, but if it happens again I'll say something to him. And after that, I'll consider going above him.
I hope my reaction was enough, at this point, to inform him that he crossed a line. But if he's doing it for the reaction, then this won't stop him. He'll probably continue. Not sure yet why he decided to tell me these things.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
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On a more positive note, I feel like I've finally become comfortable at work. As comfortable as one can be in a job like this. It feels like I've faced some long-held fears and have finally adapted. Being sober made this possible. I am grateful.
It makes me feel ready to tackle bigger things. I can imagine immersing myself in academia once again. Getting there, anyway. Not 100% yet, but approaching.
It makes me feel ready to tackle bigger things. I can imagine immersing myself in academia once again. Getting there, anyway. Not 100% yet, but approaching.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm sorry the sexual harassment issue happened to you, Jennie. I find it shocking that some men believe they can get away with that kind of behaviour. It will take them down in the end.
I'm glad your hours are settled now and more in line with what you wanted and freeing up some time to work on your proofreading.
I'm glad your hours are settled now and more in line with what you wanted and freeing up some time to work on your proofreading.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
About any Cellphone has Audio Recording functions. Not Video, which consumes lots of Phone Memory, but just Audio for Memos. Learn how to use it effortlessly to record long stretches of Audio-only.
Next time he pulls this malarkey, grab your Phone as though an unexpected Call came in. Walk away a few feet. Fake a Call. During this faked Call, start Recording Audio. Slip your Phone back into a Pocket or Smock Pouch; then turn around. The Mic is at the bottom of the Phone, so put it in a Pocket upside-down. Record. Without egging him on, get some good recorded 'Dirt'.
Make sure later the Recording is fairly audible, and clear. Use it as leverage in subsequent Discussions with Management. Or, see an Attorney. Settle for some Sexual Harassment Monies. Save another Gal from his Guano. In going up the Chain-of-Command, realize that the Company might sack you instead, seeing you as 'The Problem'. Fairly common...
'Don't get mad, get even' ~ Aerosmith
.
About any Cellphone has Audio Recording functions. Not Video, which consumes lots of Phone Memory, but just Audio for Memos. Learn how to use it effortlessly to record long stretches of Audio-only.
Next time he pulls this malarkey, grab your Phone as though an unexpected Call came in. Walk away a few feet. Fake a Call. During this faked Call, start Recording Audio. Slip your Phone back into a Pocket or Smock Pouch; then turn around. The Mic is at the bottom of the Phone, so put it in a Pocket upside-down. Record. Without egging him on, get some good recorded 'Dirt'.
Make sure later the Recording is fairly audible, and clear. Use it as leverage in subsequent Discussions with Management. Or, see an Attorney. Settle for some Sexual Harassment Monies. Save another Gal from his Guano. In going up the Chain-of-Command, realize that the Company might sack you instead, seeing you as 'The Problem'. Fairly common...
'Don't get mad, get even' ~ Aerosmith
.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I'm happy lately. I feel fulfilled in some ways I haven't before, or, not very often, anyway.
Many things are coming together for me. I see very clearly the next few steps I'm going to take. And I know I'll do it.
Why, then, is alcohol coming to mind lately? It's probably because of my co-workers. Some of them mention it casually. And also, doing yard work and gardening have always been a trigger for me.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I have probably the most tragic mother story of anyone I know. It's so tragic, the few times I tell it to people, they can hardly believe it. It's so crazy that it's more fitting for a movie or a book than for someone's actual life.
So, alcohol and mom memories are in the forefront of my mind today. I've pushed aside the alcohol thoughts, and I am at peace, mostly, with my mom.
Guess I needed to write about it.
Many things are coming together for me. I see very clearly the next few steps I'm going to take. And I know I'll do it.
Why, then, is alcohol coming to mind lately? It's probably because of my co-workers. Some of them mention it casually. And also, doing yard work and gardening have always been a trigger for me.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I have probably the most tragic mother story of anyone I know. It's so tragic, the few times I tell it to people, they can hardly believe it. It's so crazy that it's more fitting for a movie or a book than for someone's actual life.
So, alcohol and mom memories are in the forefront of my mind today. I've pushed aside the alcohol thoughts, and I am at peace, mostly, with my mom.
Guess I needed to write about it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
I woke up feeling you this morning Jennie. Really.
I know that Mother's Day is as hard for you as it is for me.
My mum's death was a terrible tragedy, and I know you understand that better than anyone else possibly could.
It was/would have been her birthday 3 days ago, and the one-year anniversary of my dad's death is in 2 days.
The memories are swirling for me as well, and the one thing getting me through all of this is knowing she would be proud that I am sober.
And I am proud of you J ~ you are making wonderful headway in the life you have planned for yourself. And you are always an inspiration to me.
So many hugs. ♥
I know that Mother's Day is as hard for you as it is for me.
My mum's death was a terrible tragedy, and I know you understand that better than anyone else possibly could.
It was/would have been her birthday 3 days ago, and the one-year anniversary of my dad's death is in 2 days.
The memories are swirling for me as well, and the one thing getting me through all of this is knowing she would be proud that I am sober.
And I am proud of you J ~ you are making wonderful headway in the life you have planned for yourself. And you are always an inspiration to me.
So many hugs. ♥
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
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Originally Posted by fantail
I'm glad you're happy. Do you think it's coming from the situation of things coming together, or vice versa? (Genuine question! Happiness in future sobriety is a topic of interest).
Do you think it's coming from the situation of things coming together, or vice versa? (Genuine question! Happiness in future sobriety is a topic of interest).I realize I'm not where I want to be in some ways, and that's ok, because I know the steps to take (mostly) to get there. And, somehow, it's the pursuing of the goals that is fulfilling me. I think, in sobriety, I'm discovering that we are all going somewhere. Very few of us are totally 'there' or else we'd be bored.
I know that once I achieve something I immediately shift toward the next goal. So, it's in the striving, maybe? Or the having something to look forward to. Yeah, I think it's more the latter.Also, with age and experience (and sobriety) comes patience and the ability to be ok with a little discomfort. I don't need to instantly gratify myself anymore. And that's freedom.
Confidence comes with each realized goal. I might not check off every single goal on my life's list, but I know I still have a shot.
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