Jackedjohn

I have 20 months clean/sober. I'm happy, getting healthy, no serious issues with my sobriety. I have a rare bad day like anyone. I chose at the beginning of this attempt of sobriety (after a 30 day rehab) to avoid meetings because of an overwhelming number of past bad experiences with it. I have a professional license that I need to maintain... my paperwork is finally going through and I am going to be required to attend 5 meetings a week for 3 years. Has anyone else had a similar situation? How did you get through it? I have no intention to turn this into a debate about AA vs nonAA and hope no one else does. Just looking for a way to stay sane and keep my sobriety while being required to do something i am very uncomfortable with. I appreciate any help from people with similar experiences.

MIRecovery

There is a tremendous amount to be learned from AA and the meetings regardless if you have a 100% buy in. I am an AAer but I love SR because there are a lot of non AAers and I have learned a lot from them.

When we close our minds to all manner of recovery we are one step closer to a drink.

Jackedjohn

Thank you for your reply. I've been to hundreds of meetings and I personally do much better without them. Like I said I'm not here for a debate. Looking for similar people who were able to get through required meetings without it impacting their sobriety in a negative way and if they could let me know what their approach was. Thank you again

Steely

I think it's a bit rough as it gives no treatment options other than AA. It's either AA or the highway (no fault AA it's the court system) and could be detrimental to a persons recovery if made obligatory, particularly if said person has had previous bad experiences. Five meetings a week for 3 years is a long time. Resentment might be a problem. If there is no way to avoid attending I would look around for a meeting that suits you, you really do have to shop around. 'Beginners' ones are the best I reckon because everyone is in the same boat with no pretentions. I don't attend AA but have in the past and I've had bad experiences too, but at the same time I did learn a lot of good stuff. I went voluntarily however and made 3 meetings a week. Is there any way you can negotiate because you have been sober for 20 months? Would they accept a D&A counsellor as achieving the same outcome? Are there any alternatives you prefer that you could put forward? I don't like forced compliance particularly when the person is doing well. I hope everything works out.

PaulDaveSmithJo

I also did much better after leaving AA. If I were mandated to attend, I would have some serious worries about maintaining a healthy sobriety. I would fight the mandate with all of my power. It does appear that such a mandate is a violation of your First Amendment rights:

http://www.smartrecovery.org/courts/...attendance.htm

http://www.rehabs.com/pro-talk-artic...aa-attendance/

http://www.smartrecovery.org/courts/...-amendment.htm

Does Mandatory AA/NA Violate the First Amendment? | North Carolina Criminal Law

Jackedjohn

I have asked for other options, but not going to happen. Its not court ordered, its part of a recovery program to maintain a professional license. I think I do just need to meeting shop and find the ones with the less clingy members

suki44883

AA meetings are usually just an hour long. Surely you can get through one hour without it affecting negatively on your sobriety. Do what you need to do in order to maintain your license. If it is the only option you have, then you are going to have to grin and bear it.

Steely

Court ordered/professional licence all the same really. Ya gotta go! I thought I did make some alternative suggestions from a civil libertarian's point of view. The 'Beginners' meetings aren't clingy everyone is caste afloat. I used to like them.

PaulDaveSmithJo

Like you and others had suggested, shopping around for a compatible meeting seems to be your best possible option. I think you've got a great advantage in this regard, since you're in a major city. There are probably some really great meetings happening in Boston.

Soberwolf

You should speak to someone as there should & is a choice there are alternatives there's been costly court cases about this

For me this is recovery and AA offers that, I know that but for some and I do agree on this that there should be choice

It's worth your while digging a lil deeper & finding out

leviathan

Jackedjohn, I am in a similar position. Almost a full year after I quit, the slow-ass paperwork caught up and I was mandated to group meetings. Not AA, but not exactly the most up to snuff rehab either. The frustrations presented to me took some mental gymnastics to come to peace with the whole thing. Calm openmindedness is key. P.M. me if you want, I'm full of strategies! Ha!

Steely

Maybe a good idea to introduce a Mandaters' Meeting. Who would be the Chair?

ScottFromWI

Attend speaker meetings. Find speaker meetings. There are literally dozens/hundred of meetings in metropolitan areas like Boston. Approach them as places you can learn....even if you don't follow a lick of the AA content you can always learn from people.

Opivotal

If you're mandated to attend in order to keep your license, one word pops into my head. Acceptance.

It's a lot less stressful and if you find a good meeting (your choice) you may actually look forward to them. Try and look at the positive.

We never know what tomorrow brings.

zjw

Not sure and off topic but love your avatar I idolized he-man as a kid and as an adult I do indeed own a pair of skeletor underoos lol.

SoberinSyracuse

I don't necessarily recommend this, but I heard of a guy who successfully resisted mandated AA attendance on the basis it violated his religious liberty.

I also didn't maintain sobriety with exposure to AA philosophy, so you're not alone.

Shop around and find the least disturbing one you can. Maybe try to attend when you will be immediately distracted right afterward (by returning to work or something...so you don't dwell on the content of the meeting)?

And, hopefully, you're less vulnerable now with 20 good months under your belt.

I'm pulling for you!

JeffreyAK

I've talked to folks in similar situations in CA, and I've never heard of a hardline "must be AA" mandate from licensing boards. It's illegal for courts to force people to attend AA meetings since AA has been deemed a religious organization by multiple higher courts (not saying that's bad if that's what you want), and licensing boards are generally state sanctioned and therefore in the same boat. I have no idea about your part of the country, though, or what sort of license you are trying to keep.

If there are no alternative options offered and you don't feel like fighting a battle over it, I'm with Scott - find speaker meetings and just get it done.

Steely

As an Australian did not want to comment on laws I did not understand but thought that mandatory attendance must be a breach some civil liberty or constitutional right. Also thought that it goes a bit counter to AA's "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." Some of these people might not want to stop drinking. If you can't get around it agree with everyone else on finding a meeting that suits and finding the acceptance.

courage2

Looks like you're in Boston -- based on NYC, I expect you can find some really big lunchtime or afterwork meetings with busy people who will leave you alone if you don't want to share.

However, that's a whole lot of meetings. If you can't ever negotiate this requirement, I think eventually you're going to have to allow yourself to warm up to some individuals in the fellowship, if not the program. And/or find a way to help others there, even if you don't find it personally useful.

Jackedjohn

I suppose the woman in charge of my case may not know that it can be substituted? I guess I will have to ask her to go above her and find out. It would be nice if I could substitute a few a week. As far as acceptance goes... I've accepted that no matter what I have to do it. My license isn't something I'm willing to give up over this... I guess I just wanted some ideas as to how to go about it and put some distance between myself and the type of members that showed up at my house when I said I had to study for an exam taking place the next morning because they thought it was more important that I go to a meeting. Again... I'm not bashing AA. I just didn't like when drugs and alcohol told me what to do and infringed on my life... I don't like it when people try to do it either.