Cravings

[Brookie]

I know it's supposed to get better, but I'm so damned sick of the cravings right now. I feel like I could chew my right arm off. I'd just really like to get drunk and feel normal for a night (and yes, I know exactly how crazy that is).

I was on kind of an emotional high about the program last week. Felt great, had most of a weekend where I really didn't even want to drink. The pendulum has now swung the other direction, as I suspected it would. I spent close to an hour on the phone with my sponsor this evening. That helped, but I'm really climbing the walls again right now.

I'm also having a lot of trouble with the "One Day at a Time" concept right now. I obviously get how it works, but I can't stop thinking about not drinking a year from now, and five years, and ten years. Just having a hard time accepting that I can't cross back over that bridge to normality.

Anyway, I'm not going to drink today, and I will go to a meeting tomorrow. Just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

Joe

[best]

Originally Posted by Brookie

I can't cross back over that bridge to normality.


Joe

That reminds me of a tee shirt... Normality?


I don't have a drinking problem
I drink
I get drunk
I fall down

No problem


That was normal for me.
I can't promise myself what I will do a year from now. I can deal with what is before me for this moment though.

and now on a lighter side... I keep watching for a day you change the picture of the dry fly. When you do people will be telling you that your fly is down *LOL*

[DolphinBlue]

Hi Joe,

I too have a hard time with the concept of not drinking again, so I don't go there. This is where the One Day At a Time idea helps so much for me. I also like to remind myself that I could not have imagined where I am right now a few years ago and so much has changed.

The cravings will come and go. I've found it useful to be realistic with myself about this so that when they do hit its not so difficult to deal with. I think it through to the logical conclusion based on years of experience (and even my alcoholic mind can't argue with that!):

alcohol + me = hiding my drinks, drinking too fast, blacking out, waking up sick, tired, sore and with the most awful kind of dread, the most lonely feeling of despair so bad (not to mention half wanting and half not wanting to know why I have a terrible feeling I abused someone) that only another drink will "fix" it.

It's just too much hard work. If I can stay sober, just for today, just for now, I can spend my energy doing things I love with people I love.

[51anna]

Hi Brookie,

I think it's still relatively early on in your sobriety and that's why you're still experiencing cravings. It took awhile for my cravings to subside also and like you, I learned to watch out for the 'emotional highs' because I knew they'd be soon be followed by lows (at which time I often returned to alcohol). The highs and lows will likely even out as well, they did for me.

Hang in there and don't think too far ahead. It just overwhelming.

Love, Anna

[Brookie]

Thanks all. Feeling better this morning, as I knew I would.

[Brookie]

Just for you, Best.

[Dan]

I think I miss your fly Joe
How's today so far?

[Brookie]

Thanks for asking Dan. Today's better. I'm just at a point where I need to watch out for the cravings, and do a better job of calling an A when they start getting to me. Definitely helped to vent (though I felt a little embarrassed about it this morning).

Not to worry. They fly will be back. I don't want to create a sensation, but I'm kind of thinking Royal Wulf next. It's gonna be sweeeeet. I'm getting excited just thinking about it, actually.

[1Marty]

Hey Joe! Stick out those rough periods. The more of those cravings ou can resist, the stronger you will grow. Things improve. But our drinking didn't happen overnight, and its not gong to leave overnight either.

[Brookie]

Thanks Marty. Doing much better today. Glad I stuck it out.

[3legacy]

((((((((Joe ))))))))
Were glad you did too. I just might need you to throw me a lifepreserver down the road when we go fishing. If I hook into something like your Avatar, it could take me for a much more splendid ride, than another drink certainly would.

How you doing today?

(((((((Brookie )))))))
Kiss Heart of Spirit In Love & Service,
Three Legs
:tri

[Brookie]

Hey 3Legs - Doing great today. Hope you are too.

Beautiful Sept. day. Made a meeting. Not feeling too crazy. Getting my life preserver pitching arm in shape. All in all, a good day.

Best,
Joe

[Dan]

Not feeling too crazy.....
Any day I have that is a good day
And everytime I see a post of yours now Joe, I'm craving for some nice skillet fried rainbows in garlic butter.
Go figure

[Brookie]

You should see what I can do with a nice fresh mahi-mahi.

Thanks for the Karma!

[ted]

WAY TO GO JOE
I DOES GET BETTER IN TIME HUH?
HANG TOUGH BROTHER.
IT WAS NICE CHATTING WITH YOU LAST NIGHT.
YOUR NOT ALONE IN THIS,NEITHER AM I.............ted

[Dan]

Originally Posted by Brookie

a nice fresh mahi-mahi.

Do I want to know

[Brookie]

Thanks Ted. Back acha. Enjoying getting to know you better.

Trust me Dan, it's a good thing. Don't get me wrong, the mahi-mahi is an attractive fish, but I just don't swing that way. I mean, yea, I love fish. But I don't love fish, if you know what I mean.

[Dan]

Originally Posted by Brookie

but I just don't swing that way.

Well, there's this big lake trout I caught once...
Never mind

[ted]

[Brookie]

Somebody get a moderator! Ted's posting dirty pictures!

Actually, on second thought, wait about ten minutes before you call that moderator. :scratchch

[MegH33]

I'd be sitting or standing somewhere and out of the blue--whomp--a killer desire to drink. An almost urgent panic driven obsession. I white knuckled a few, but then got a little guidance. I immediatly asked God (insert your HP here) to releive the obsession. Once I asked to relieve the %^$%^@%ing obsession. You know he did. The hard part is remembering to do this when the sickness hits. That is why I try to be spiritual all the time. To be on guard for the alcohol bats.

This is why if i am sitting watching TV reruns and a meeting is going on, I try to get up and go--even if I don;t need it. I'm trying to fill the spiritual emergency kit up.

Today I celebrate 60 days sober. This is a true miracle. Me, Meg hasn;t had a drink in that long. Wow. I am going to grow old in this program one day at a time with my friends, and make about a million more along the way.

When the squirrels are chewing on your brain, and it is real. Try to have a mantra--Don't Drink, Go to meetings and pray.

PS these feelings helped me with the first step too. Apparently non alki's don;t get these "attacks"..


Love

Meg

[Brookie]

When the squirrels are chewing on your brain...

Thanks Meg - Great analogy. That's one of the best descriptions I've heard of how it feels. Congratulations on the 60 days, and thanks also for the good advice.

Joe

[MegH33]

Never Never Never feel bad about a craving. It's a part of what we are. Doens't mean you're not doing it right. My sponsor said to me.

Something I tell my son, If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

[1Marty]

Originally Posted by Brookie

You should see what I can do with a nice fresh mahi-mahi.

I had that fish a few times. Awesome!


Meg, Hello! and Congrats on 60 days!