UhZoomZip

I practically cried hearing this, thank you. I'm calling later this morning and hope to be seen today.

I want to convince myself that I can do everything on my own, but I've been through a hard, un-medicated, detox once, and I know I can't do it again without risk and repercussions and I don't want those few days of hell ever, ever again. And I don't have the time or discipline to do a real taper-to-nothing schedule like I originally planned , not once I realized how long it would take.

. . . I was about to say that I was going to make a change, but no, I'm making a change.

sleepie

That is excellent news UhZoom.

Glad you are here with us and going forward with the first step to recovery.

You don't have to do it alone.

Soberwolf

Congrats

UhZoomZip

Well, I called the office. The ask why you need to be seen and I bit the bullet and said. The nurse asked several questions and then told me she could me me an appointment, but that she didn't think that they could help me except to book me into a detox or get me a counselor. I took the appointment anyway, but I'm about to cry.

Ariesagain

Oh, how unhelpful. Please please don't let this derail you.

You need a medical workup regardless, so please go. I'm praying (quite the trick for an atheist like myself) that the front desk staff is clueless and your actual doctor will be more knowledgable and helpful.

Please don't give up.

walkbeformakrun

Have you considered going to an urgent care place? The doc there will have never met you. It is more anonymous. And you get in right away. If you don't like the result, they don't give you what you want, you can always try another.

If you are specific about what you want as treatment, doc's will listen. They know patients are very well informed these days.

UhZoomZip

I guess I could try that, but then that might raise flags for drug seeking behavior, right? I thought of the ER, but then that'd be $500+ out of my already empty wallet, and could end up the same way and with the same results.

I'm going to go see my doctor and plead my case and try not to lose it.

walkbeformakrun

If you go to your doc with obvious knowledge of your condition and the treatment options, I doubt he is going to fight you hard on what you think is best for you. Unless there is good reason. Then listen to his reasoning. If you are not convinced by his reasoning, then get a second opinion. Second opinions are a very valid course of action.

UhZoomZip

If she's bound by clinic policy, she just might have to deny me, and the urgent cares I have access to are part of the same network, but good point about second opinion.

SoberinSyracuse

You're right on -- go through with it. And remember, inpatient detox only takes a few days. I know you hate the idea, but trust me it can jump-start your sobriety much better than you could do on your own. A few days off, with doctors and counselors around to talk to, will give you an opportunity to formulate a GOOD and COMPREHENSIVE sobriety plan.

From reading a zillion threads here, and also my personal experience, I'm 100% convinced that relapse happens when the plan isn't thorough enough. Your odds are WAY better if you take a few days off of life and do this work!

You can tell the doc you'd prefer not to go inpatient, but whatever the doc suggests....DO IT. Honestly, don't try to cut corners. Get this piece done right and you won't regret it!

I respectfully disagree with the posts above which suggest more shopping around. It's too easy to delay by doing this. The alcoholic part of your brain does not want you getting medical advice or care and will use any reasoning to talk you out of it. You have an appointment with the doctor -- keep it, and do what the doctor recommends.

sleepie

UhZoom try another doctor. Make sure you tell them your symptoms.

sleepie

Don't give up UhZoom and if you have to pay out of pocket it's worth it to see another day, you can do this. I'd call around and just be blunt, "I am having alcohol withdrawals I am afraid for my life, can the doctor treat me?".

I did this once, walked in the ER, ,they took my blood pressure and pulse, saw me right away and the doctor was very kind. Just be very clear and be blunt.

sleepie

All the suggestions here are good. Inpatient if only a few days. Or urgent care.
Just don't give up. This is just the few first steps to sobriety, you can do this.

UhZoomZip

Well, I'm waiting on a call from an inpatient detox for my intake. I hope I can get a bed tomorrow. It's usually 3-4 days, but I explained my situation and they could see it in my eyes and they promised they'd try to get my intake call out today and pull some strings about a spot. Wish me luck. The doctor wasn't able to do anything, I guess in MA they just don't do outpatient detox. She's a nurse practitioner so she asked her supervisor to check, and the doctor said that they just don't. My mother since told me that she's never heard of it around here either. The doctor told me that she thinks this would be best, so I listened. Told my mum, told my roommate, now just nervous waiting out the several hours until my girlfriend gets home. I wish I was just in detox already. The worst part for me right now is waiting to tell her that I slipped up and I've been drinking again, and then having to turn around and drink tonight so I don't get sick.

SobrieTee

Congrats on going to detox! Very brave decision, and definitely the right thing to do

I feel your pain about telling a loved one you relapsed. I went through the same thing - had to ask my poor mom to bring me a beer before getting in a cab and heading to detox, just so I wouldn't have a seizure on the way there. This was exactly one year after my first detox, and my mom thought I had been sober the whole time (in reality I had been drinking all day every day for four months). My mom was really understanding and proud of me for getting proper medical help.

Best of luck in detox

UhZoomZip

I've seen my mom through several stints, so she was super loving and supportive. So was my roommate. I don't think my SO is going to kick me out or anything, but I'm still nervous.

ScottFromWI

Kudos to you for taking the initiative to not only see the doc, but make this appointment.

Regarding your SO, believe me...she knows already. You said you were drinking 10-15 drinks every evening, right? There's no way to hide that from someone...as much as we like to think we are. So don't worry about that so much right now...get yourself better and things will work out in the end.

Ariesagain

Thank you for the update. It took a ton of courage and character for you to go tell your doctor today...good for you!

I am a thousand percent convinced you can do this. Onward!

UhZoomZip

Well my girlfriend called, I let her know. She was super calm. We're going to talk more when she gets home, but she told me she loves me, so there's half a load of my chest. Still no intake call from the detox center, I hope I get it tonight so I have a shot at a bed tomorrow. My mum has been to this place before and is friends with a member of their team who offered to call the intake director if I haven't heard by 7.

fantail

That's great ZZ. I hope you get a bed tomorrow.

Are you packed? Bring a good book, some warm socks, and warm clothing... they keep it cold in there. I had a big warm fuzzy bathrobe that kept me very happy.

You're making the right choice. I was nervous too. But once you're there you just go with the flow and get this terrible stuff out of your system. It's so much better than the scariness and pain of doing it alone.