Diary of a Mad Cow, Part XVIII: "New Year, New Moo!"
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
I feel same way, Sleepies. I bawl eyes out when I see family who seem to loves and support each other. Especial papa who protect and love his daughter. And parent who encourage you and shht. OMG, that be so cool to has a non-crap family, right? I guess is luck of the draw.
Is a kind service you gifting to you co-workers. I hope you feel good to offer that. Just make sure it feel "right" for you. Of course some people is gonna be users, some is cons, some is genuine. You not has to MAKE them like you, Sleepies. You likeable. I know, cuz I likes you. You not need to does any favors to make you self likeable. Trust you instinct, but also give them chance. I not like much of people at first also, but, then, sometime, you give them chance and they surprise you, or, you just get to knows them better and start to understand they has vulnerability too.
At end of day, we all just tiny blips, insignificant little creatures, floating around in space, yes? It took long time, but I not afraid of the other creatures any more.
Is a kind service you gifting to you co-workers. I hope you feel good to offer that. Just make sure it feel "right" for you. Of course some people is gonna be users, some is cons, some is genuine. You not has to MAKE them like you, Sleepies. You likeable. I know, cuz I likes you. You not need to does any favors to make you self likeable. Trust you instinct, but also give them chance. I not like much of people at first also, but, then, sometime, you give them chance and they surprise you, or, you just get to knows them better and start to understand they has vulnerability too.
At end of day, we all just tiny blips, insignificant little creatures, floating around in space, yes? It took long time, but I not afraid of the other creatures any more.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Cow 
I feel same way, Sleepies. I bawl eyes out when I see family who seem to loves and support each other. Especial papa who protect and love his daughter. And parent who encourage you and shht. OMG, that be so cool to has a non-crap family, right? I guess is luck of the draw.
Families are what they are and although it still bothers me my brothers wife never respected my family especially my mother and passed along this attitude to the children it is what it is.
My niece has started college away from home and I`m in the area from time to time. I was thinking it would be nice to meet her but then thought forget it. The last thing I want is to find out her father asked her to see me because she couldn`t be bothered.
Again families are what they are. I can`t tell you the number of times I have heard AA members share family horror stories.
At this point I`m happy to have a cordial relationship and willing to leave it at that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 283
Cow- today I had a drain put in because I had too much fluid. They gave me some pain and sedation medicine which made me nauseous and loopy. Right now, after drinking my diet coke and eating, I'm starting to feel a lot better. The tube in breast hurts a little but I think I'm getting used to being in slight discomfort. Can't wait until I'm 100%.
Sleepie- hope you get some quality bed island time soon.
Congrats on the 25 days
On the parent topic, I didn't have a father that was really involved but sometimes I think it was a generational thing. Although I know in some of your cases, your parents, well, sucked! It just seems now parenting has gone to another level. They are super involved and supportive. One big happy family it seems from an outsider point of view. Good for them.
Sleepie- hope you get some quality bed island time soon.
Congrats on the 25 days
On the parent topic, I didn't have a father that was really involved but sometimes I think it was a generational thing. Although I know in some of your cases, your parents, well, sucked! It just seems now parenting has gone to another level. They are super involved and supportive. One big happy family it seems from an outsider point of view. Good for them.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Puff, you remind me of my mama. Truth be tell, if I was you, I be thinking, "HELLO! I freaking SICK, you whiny bitches!" I be feeling even MORE sorry for my self.
But, like my mama, you has immense grace and nobility. I hope you know we here for you in whatever you wish to express.
But, like my mama, you has immense grace and nobility. I hope you know we here for you in whatever you wish to express.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Truth be told, there's little to tell about Trach. We're back to normal hours at work. Which is good as the apartment needs attention. The hunt for a better job goes on. And I'm abdicating all those responsibilities this weekend to head for the parents' this weekend and watch the Super Bowl with Dad. We're both to the point that we'll need a nap before to see the whole game. That's life, huh?
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Originally Posted by Cow
I will shares something. I was so excite to have "fresh new friend," which I just talk about, but then today she send me blog link about "Star Childrens" and ask what I think. I like, holy shht. I knew she more woo woo/spiritual than I is, but she seem to understands and accept my perspective. Now I think I eventual gonna alienate her with my being atheist. Like I say, atheist is the new gay. Anyways, I give her honest answer, so we see if she okay to have friend on the "dark side." I total willing and open to has friend on the "light side."
Puffy, glad you are starting to feel better. So glad you got the drain to relieve the fluid pressure. Maybe try juice and eating next time.
(I am not one to talk as Diet Pepsi is my Fluid Of Choice, but I'm great at giving out advice I don't actually follow.)
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Here is honest answer I gives her, O. I try to be easy breezy about my total skepticism:
Trach, you can sleeps during Coldplay! It gonna be more of a Super Slaughter I think. Is neat you watching game with you papa. I not can imagine to be friends in that way. What kind of job you look for?
Hmm, well, it maybe just me, cuz I not that enamored of children in general, but I has not yet met any of the fabulous star childrens of light! In fact, I think the social media and iphones and such is making children extremely self-center and disconnected. As for aliens, I think they out there, but I not convince they slinking around unnoticed on Earth. That in my: "I believe it when I abducted file." What does you think?
What does you think?
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I think that (a) she's trying to find out if you are a total wingnut or (b) you've just dodged a bullet. I hope it's (a)? Time will tell.
Also I think it becomes harder to make friends as we get older, especially for those who are discriminating and/or have been seriously wounded. I like to think it's worth the wait. Time will tell because I haven't yet gathered the gumption to trust anyone in a deeply personal way in many years. For me, weeding out the "definitely won't do" people is a good first start.
Also I think it becomes harder to make friends as we get older, especially for those who are discriminating and/or have been seriously wounded. I like to think it's worth the wait. Time will tell because I haven't yet gathered the gumption to trust anyone in a deeply personal way in many years. For me, weeding out the "definitely won't do" people is a good first start.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
I'd like a job that pays me to nap. Or one that pays me to stay home. Either/or. Realistically, just a job that pays me what I'm worth.
My Dad has been my friend all my life. We've done all the things you read about fathers and sons doing. We'll keep doing them.
My Dad has been my friend all my life. We've done all the things you read about fathers and sons doing. We'll keep doing them.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
That cool Trach, I maybe little bit jealous right now. ...okay maybe a lot.
O, she not answer me back yet, so we see. We has already share very raw stories of our lifes with each other, so hopefully fact that I more a skeptic at heart not turn her off, but I understands if it does. Like, if I was all bubbles and cakes surrounded by star childrens of light, why would I want a dark bitchy cow around to harsh my mellow.
Yes, I not a shy cow, but it very hard to make new friend as adult. Everybody busy busy busy or they friend tank already full or they consume with childrens and husband and such. One thing I like about this lady is she invite me to join into other part of her life, which is what I needing. To explore new thing outside of comfort zones.
O, she not answer me back yet, so we see. We has already share very raw stories of our lifes with each other, so hopefully fact that I more a skeptic at heart not turn her off, but I understands if it does. Like, if I was all bubbles and cakes surrounded by star childrens of light, why would I want a dark bitchy cow around to harsh my mellow.
Yes, I not a shy cow, but it very hard to make new friend as adult. Everybody busy busy busy or they friend tank already full or they consume with childrens and husband and such. One thing I like about this lady is she invite me to join into other part of her life, which is what I needing. To explore new thing outside of comfort zones.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
You know, I think we get awfully smug in what we "know" to be true,
but maybe other people "know" something we don't.
If she is someone you like, and she likes you,
I think let the friendship develop naturally if she can accept
where you're coming from and you can both be honest about that.
I'm anti-religion to the max, but I have several good friends who buy in.
That's part of who they are and I don't mind.
We accept we have different views and that's that.
So what if someone believes something that isn't mainstream?
To me Star Children are perhaps more likely to be "real" than some
bearded deity on a throne waiting to be worshiped.
but maybe other people "know" something we don't.
If she is someone you like, and she likes you,
I think let the friendship develop naturally if she can accept
where you're coming from and you can both be honest about that.
I'm anti-religion to the max, but I have several good friends who buy in.
That's part of who they are and I don't mind.
We accept we have different views and that's that.
So what if someone believes something that isn't mainstream?
To me Star Children are perhaps more likely to be "real" than some
bearded deity on a throne waiting to be worshiped.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
I agrees Hawk. That what I say when Christian poo poo somebody who believe in star childrens or past life and such. I like, listen, you program got angels flying about and virgin birth and people coming back from dead or turning to pillar of salt, so, you know, potato potahto.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
I'm glad you had a nice time--I have made no new friends outside
of work for years now,
Part of it is just not finding anyone I "click" with and lack of time /
living in the country doesn't help.
I also think that social and sobriety didn't mix in my mind as I always
tended to drink when socializing.
Now with the anhedonia, I also find I'm pretty demotivated to connect
with others.
I am as content in my house watching the birds around the feeder
as I would be sitting down for lunch with someone to catch up.
Maybe more so since I have a great deal of trouble staying engaged
in conversation now--no small talk left in me after everything else.
Perhaps I was just boring all along and didn't realize it until I got sober.
of work for years now,
Part of it is just not finding anyone I "click" with and lack of time /
living in the country doesn't help.
I also think that social and sobriety didn't mix in my mind as I always
tended to drink when socializing.
Now with the anhedonia, I also find I'm pretty demotivated to connect
with others.
I am as content in my house watching the birds around the feeder
as I would be sitting down for lunch with someone to catch up.
Maybe more so since I have a great deal of trouble staying engaged
in conversation now--no small talk left in me after everything else.
Perhaps I was just boring all along and didn't realize it until I got sober.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Sorry if I seemed to be smug there; I sure don't claim to have the corner of truth on Anything. It just seems a little too sci-fi fantasy Hunger Games to me to believe that stubborn and all-knowing children from far flung galaxies are being sent to our planet to save us from our stubborn self-centered and destructive selves. I think that job is up to is if it's going to be done.
But that's just me. I'll be good with it if some wise others swoop down to give us a hand.
But that's just me. I'll be good with it if some wise others swoop down to give us a hand.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
No worries O. I not get "smug" from you. And I a speak you mind kind of cow with thick hide. I actual like people with less filter. Of course, one has to gauge how sensitive somebody is about they belief. I not sensitive at all. I like to be challenge and debate stuff, but others is way more sensitive and take personal, especial if it spirituality and such.
For me, ALL religions is mythological stories human invent to make sense of thing we not could in earlier time understand (like weather and death) and the newer spiritual paradigms is kind of just same, stories to soothe things we still not understand (like Cardinals performance in NFC championship and death). Is all to help us cope. So, why not.
Hawk, I not really does small talk either. In fact, this lady send me email after first meeting to thank me for be open and "deep sharing" and I like, oh, cuz I was just blabble as usual! Haha! I think we be two anhedonics in a pod when I moves into you farmhouse.
For me, ALL religions is mythological stories human invent to make sense of thing we not could in earlier time understand (like weather and death) and the newer spiritual paradigms is kind of just same, stories to soothe things we still not understand (like Cardinals performance in NFC championship and death). Is all to help us cope. So, why not.
Hawk, I not really does small talk either. In fact, this lady send me email after first meeting to thank me for be open and "deep sharing" and I like, oh, cuz I was just blabble as usual! Haha! I think we be two anhedonics in a pod when I moves into you farmhouse.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
Hi Obla--
I'm sorry about the word choice "smug" and it wasn't aimed at you--
I think I mean that I notice in me that I often get so certain of what is
I don't leave room for anyone else's reality, as though
everything is objective and measurable "out there" when
really I'm measuring "out there" from "in here" which is Subjectivity City. . .
Cow, I'll get started drawing up the plans for your room this week.
I was thinking you'd like something in the tower addition I'm planning. . .
At the top with cool creepy winding stairs and a hatch to the roof deck and deluxe hummingbird
feeder capability (of course). . . stars are really clear and pretty here
in the middle of nowhere.
I'm sorry about the word choice "smug" and it wasn't aimed at you--
I think I mean that I notice in me that I often get so certain of what is
I don't leave room for anyone else's reality, as though
everything is objective and measurable "out there" when
really I'm measuring "out there" from "in here" which is Subjectivity City. . .
Cow, I'll get started drawing up the plans for your room this week.
I was thinking you'd like something in the tower addition I'm planning. . .
At the top with cool creepy winding stairs and a hatch to the roof deck and deluxe hummingbird
feeder capability (of course). . . stars are really clear and pretty here
in the middle of nowhere.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
My 11 year old is the most stubborn person I have ever met and has been since birth, literally. I thought she was just stubborn, but now I wonder....
OK, so I am with Cow on being open minded and all that, and its all about coping, agreed, and the older I get the less I know, check, but Star Children is just one woo too far for this gal. I admit it. Cannot go there.
Not to say I could not have a friend who believed in Star children, jeez I have even have Repub friends.
So my loves, things are good over here in Belgium, except that I will not be able to watch the big game on TV tomorrow. Trying to figure out my internet options, but with the Cardinals out, don't need to watch to support our Cow so less important.
So, I have decided to finally write the book that I have been avoiding the last decade. On the woo side, I wrote a few chapters on Friday and woke up with a huge feeling of peace, so maybe it is what I should be doing. Haven't quit the day job, but going to try.
Still hanging on to my 1616 date thanks to Cow.
Who is everyone rooting for tomorrow? My sister is in Denver so I am going that way, but worried its going to be a blow out.
OK, so I am with Cow on being open minded and all that, and its all about coping, agreed, and the older I get the less I know, check, but Star Children is just one woo too far for this gal. I admit it. Cannot go there.
Not to say I could not have a friend who believed in Star children, jeez I have even have Repub friends.
So my loves, things are good over here in Belgium, except that I will not be able to watch the big game on TV tomorrow. Trying to figure out my internet options, but with the Cardinals out, don't need to watch to support our Cow so less important.
So, I have decided to finally write the book that I have been avoiding the last decade. On the woo side, I wrote a few chapters on Friday and woke up with a huge feeling of peace, so maybe it is what I should be doing. Haven't quit the day job, but going to try.
Still hanging on to my 1616 date thanks to Cow.
Who is everyone rooting for tomorrow? My sister is in Denver so I am going that way, but worried its going to be a blow out.
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