zoso

Hi,

I created couple of posts before where I was sober for two weeks and how good it felt, etc. So I stayed sober for two weeks and then had this day which caused depression & anxiety and I started drinking again, and been on the booze since then. I want to try again but not sure if this will be a just another two weeks of sobriety followed by a month of drinking. I wanna quit but man it's really hard. So used to it.

Dee74

Hi Zoso

I don;t know how long you've been drinking for but msot of us find it takes a couple of goes.

A lot of us underestimate the task, I think. I know I did.

It's not impossible tho - not by any means. If you want change and you're prepared to do whatever it takes to make that change happen, you'll be ok.

Have you thought of other ways to deal with depression and anxiety for example?
Drinking's about the worst thing you could do for both those things.

D

zoso

Been drinking for 20+ years, but excessive last 4-5 years., not that I was drinking rationally before that. Thanks for the reply by the way, appreciated. Drinking for depression & anxiety I know is probably the worst thing but it's the quickest way man. I just need to pull my head out of my arse and do something but zero motivation. I'm beginning to think I'll just accept that I'm gonna die a lonely alcoholic. **** I'm so annoyed and drunk right now. Sorry if I'm just talking ******** man.

FeelingGreat

Hi Zoso, it took me quite a few half-hearted tries, and one real go where I knew I'd finally made up my mind.

Have you worked out ways of dealing with the bad days that don't involve drinking? It helps a lot to have some strategies (unfortunately for me, usually eating, but heaps better than drinking and about the same calories).

zoso

>> bad days that don't involve drinking

Man some days I'm just lost, in those two weeks I had days where I went for a long walk instead of drinking, I had a day where I did stuff that was unusual for me (see a movie), but this day came along but I couldn't help but drink.

zoso

I want to cry and just die.

zoso

anyone?

wibble

Don't give up.

I'm back again trying to stop, i've lost count of the amount of times i've tried but you have to just keep going. It doesn't matter if you've had more false starts than an epileptic sprinter, the key is to just keep trying.

Just don't give up

Soberwolf

Zozo i like Dee74 & Wibble said & agree I never got sober on my first attempt and I remember feeling exactly how you felt every alcoholic has felt this way

I'm picking up how badly you want this

Have you tried either AA or Smart recovery programmes there are others also

Regular check ins will bolster your sobriety no doubt but other little things will help make a big difference like building a sobriety plan to help stay sober

Know your not alone

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

Hawkeye13

Don't quit quitting and it will stick--keep working on a plan to deal
with cravings and triggers and work on finding some other treatment
for the depression besides booze.

I totally get it, but it just doesn't work in the end anyway.
Sobriety is a much better place.

I've quit and relapsed many times but my sober periods now feel
more "normal" than my drinking times.
This time I am going to make it stick for good
You can do it zoso--keep reading and posting.

sg1970

Are you getting any kind of professional help for your depression and anxiety?

My drinking patterns were alot like what you described. Especially the rough last few years. The early days are hard. Some days it was all I could do to get through it and hit the bed sober. Three things helped me through it. Professional help for my anxiety, a recovery program, and pure being stubborn as a rock on the rough days. AA was a good fit for me for the recovery program but there are a few options. Have you looked at what's out there?

Music

When you ask, "How many time did it take you", the answer for me is once! I went to my first AA meeting in 1977 and haven't had a drink since. Depression kind of comes with the territory because when I drink a depressant drug...alcohol, that in itself is a downer. Then when I continually do things that would depress anyone while I'm under the influence; things that are totally opposite to societal norms, that causes depression so when I came to AA, I was depressed. Depression caused by a chemical imbalance is a different thing entirely. To answer your question though, I went to a lot of meetings, I got a sponsor and I started actively taking part in my recovery which to me, was exciting, fun and uplifting. I was doing things that helped me to feel good about myself. It's been said, and I believe it to be true that I can't "think" myself into positive action, I have to "act" myself into positive thinking. People ask me, have I reached my bottom yet? My answer is generally "we'll see what tomorrow brings." My sobriety isn't a guaranteed thing! It's contingent on my physical, emotional and spiritual health which I work on, on a daily basis. I still have a sponsor and I still go to meetings because I have no way of knowing what will, or if something will cause me to think a drink is a good idea. So far I can say I hit my bottom. Don't sit around doing nothing. Take part in your own recovery and learn to feel good about yourself.

ScottFromWI

I "quit" several times but didn't have any kind of plan or support so it didn't last long. When I finally found SR and learned of all the different means of support A available it was a different story.

No one is "destined" to drink forever zoso, it's a choice some do make though. You have the choice to commit to sobriety and find a plan or program that works for you. Simply "not drinking" without some kid of formal support ( AA, therapy, self paced support ) generally not successful. And yes....it will be hard, probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do. But the work and initial pain is well worth the long term benefits.

Friend Of Bill

In my experience not too many people get it the first time my experience it took nine years from the first time I came to the rooms I would always compare myself to others I would minimize how bad I was I thought a drug addict was a person with a needle I thought a drunk was under the bridge with a paper bag I wasn't honest with myself the insanity of thinking I will do it different this time I stopped every time I got in trouble with the family with the law and then I always had a plan when the consequences went away how to do it normally I never could I couldn't control it I could stop but I couldn't stay stopped then one day back in 1999 after 9 years of hell losing everything I had seven different times becoming homeless living in a dumpster being alone there is even the time while I was homeless a male nurse who remembered seeing me at the hospital at same day surgery pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride he ended up drugging me and raping me that wasn't enough but finally that day in 99 I just had enough I honestly said I don't want to do this anymore in the past every time I stopped I never did anything else I go to a meeting here in there but thought if I just stopped using and drinking life will get better I never realized that the drugs in the alcohol we're only a symptom my thinking was the problem and that day in 1999 when I came in I found a man swallowed my pride and asked if you would help me and for the first time phone a lot of times saying oh AA doesn't work that man showed me how to work AA told me the book Alcoholics Anonymous had the directions on how to take the steps and the steps would set me free relapse is a process picking up is the last thing that happens it's the thinking my actions and my behaviour that start days weeks or months before I pick up in the 12 steps and going to meetings help to see when I'm starting to act like I used to before I pick up they call it the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking for obviously that is the crux of the problem once I got totally honest with myself like never before became willing to do whatever it took to not feel this way again the teacher appeared the process of getting well got a whole lot simpler once I quit fighting it once I quit making excuses in rationalizing everything I can't do this alone I'm not unique and now I help guys Recreate their and I am peace full and happy I have tools to help so my experience was once I got honest and put the effort into getting better rather than use and I started to be about it and not just talk about it life changed and it's a whole lot easier when you discover one day at a time as long as we don't drink today do the best we can treat others like we want to be treated if we wake up tomorrow we learn from our mistakes and be a better day tomorrow I lived in two worlds I was a slave to my past filled with regrets and resentment I was in the future filled with anxiety and anticipation I was never here I was never now the 12 steps to help me discover today

Ken33xx

First meeting was March 6, 1993 and I haven`t had a drink since. However, my experience is rather unique in AA.

It takes what it takes.

No need to feel embarrassed or apologize

Soberpotamus

I tried a few times, too, before I stopped. I think most people do have some stops and starts along the way, but there are those who quit the first try. I think what's important is that you do whatever it takes to quit, whether that's by motivating yourself, and figuring out why you want to stop, or by figuring out which tools (and a plan) you need to get you to stay stopped. SR can be one of those tools, so can meetings, rehab, books, therapy, and so on.

My epiphany was when I realized that I could stop, and that I could do it right then, without delay, and that I never had to pick it back up again! Hope, faith, possibility ... those all helped.

Mountainmanbob

How many tries did it take you?

Well, I guess that I will never know for sure
because there were many failed attempts at sobriety.
I'm one who has attended AA over the years.
I have had many, many
30 day, 60 day, 90 day, 6 month, 9 month, 1 yr and 2yr tokens.

Just received my first 8 yr token a while back
I'm serious this time
shooting for 9 years sober.

Making a (firm) decision is of most importance.

MB

advbike

Maybe 100 times, over two decades.. lol.

MelindaFlowers

Once I completely accepted that I was never going to drink alcohol again and that I would never be able to drink again under any circumstance it only took me one try.

But, this was following 10 years of nightly, heavy drinking and knowing I had to stop for a very long time.

I had many, probably several dozen times where I tried to stop but I knew in the back of my head that I would probably drink again because I was hoping against hope that I would find some way to moderate my drinking. I thought of everything. I even thought of drinking just once a year. Choosing one night a year and just drinking then. I tried many many many many different ways to moderate my drinking.

Back to your original question, if there's even 1% of you that thinks that drinking might be an option in the future then it's going to be a rough road.

Loekken

I think I will be trying my entire life to be honest.