Sober Log
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Originally Posted by Dee74 
Have you considered something like AA, Rick?
D
D
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Originally Posted by SlickRick07
Yeah, but I'm not religious so I don't know how I'd fit in. I also usually work evenings or I'm too exhausted to do anything after class all day. On my work days I don't get off until 8 or 9 and I haven't found any later meetings in my area.
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My thoughts today.
I've lost everything so many times. I was even kicked out of the USAF for drinking and went into depression for 2 years. I started going back to school and I'll graduate in May with my bachelors. I've worked so hard to get to this point. I lost one of the best things that's ever happened to me b/c of drinking.
I felt so alive these past few months, and woke up everyday excited. I was excited about the future. I feel now that I'm getting sober too late and it doesn't matter anymore.
I never quit sooner b/c I never admitted to myself I was an alcoholic. People around me just told me I drank too much but didn't have a problem. I looked in the mirror a few days ago, and I finally admitted to myself I'm an alcoholic.
I've lost all motivation to do anything. I had a test yesterday that I didn't study for. I have to take sleeping pills to even get to sleep b/c my mind is so full of guilt and shame. I think about people laughing at me. I think about people bringing my name up all the time's I've gotten drunk and they're laughing at me.
It makes me so angry, and I'm so full of anger. I'm angry at myself, but maybe I'm angry at them to for not understanding. I still have been going to the gym, and I've never actually been angry in the gym, but I have been these past few days.
I wake up everyday now, and I just go through the motions, not really sure why I am. I need a reason again to get up in the morning, but I can't find it. I just do it. People at work and school have been asking me what's wrong. I feel like crying all the time. I turned off my phone and haven't had it on since yesterday. I don't want to talk to anyone.
I've lost all my confidence. I used to think I was such a good looking person, but now I feel like no one will ever want me. I just want to sink back into my depression that I knew before.
I still see a glimmer of hope at times, but it quickly fades to black. I no longer think there is hope even if I do get sober.
The VA still hasn't called me back to get me into the program. I'm not sure how long I'm going to wait until I call them again.
I don't know what this log is supposed to be. I feel like all the progress I've made in the past few months has been flushed down the drain and now I'm starting over. I don't think there is another 2nd chance for me.
That's how I'm feeling today.
I've lost everything so many times. I was even kicked out of the USAF for drinking and went into depression for 2 years. I started going back to school and I'll graduate in May with my bachelors. I've worked so hard to get to this point. I lost one of the best things that's ever happened to me b/c of drinking.
I felt so alive these past few months, and woke up everyday excited. I was excited about the future. I feel now that I'm getting sober too late and it doesn't matter anymore.
I never quit sooner b/c I never admitted to myself I was an alcoholic. People around me just told me I drank too much but didn't have a problem. I looked in the mirror a few days ago, and I finally admitted to myself I'm an alcoholic.
I've lost all motivation to do anything. I had a test yesterday that I didn't study for. I have to take sleeping pills to even get to sleep b/c my mind is so full of guilt and shame. I think about people laughing at me. I think about people bringing my name up all the time's I've gotten drunk and they're laughing at me.
It makes me so angry, and I'm so full of anger. I'm angry at myself, but maybe I'm angry at them to for not understanding. I still have been going to the gym, and I've never actually been angry in the gym, but I have been these past few days.
I wake up everyday now, and I just go through the motions, not really sure why I am. I need a reason again to get up in the morning, but I can't find it. I just do it. People at work and school have been asking me what's wrong. I feel like crying all the time. I turned off my phone and haven't had it on since yesterday. I don't want to talk to anyone.
I've lost all my confidence. I used to think I was such a good looking person, but now I feel like no one will ever want me. I just want to sink back into my depression that I knew before.
I still see a glimmer of hope at times, but it quickly fades to black. I no longer think there is hope even if I do get sober.
The VA still hasn't called me back to get me into the program. I'm not sure how long I'm going to wait until I call them again.
I don't know what this log is supposed to be. I feel like all the progress I've made in the past few months has been flushed down the drain and now I'm starting over. I don't think there is another 2nd chance for me.
That's how I'm feeling today.
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Join Date: May 2012
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Sorry you are feeling this way Rick, writing it all down can definitely help.
What's important for you to remember as that all of these feelings are just that - feelings. Keep searching for that "reason" - and please remember that you may need help to find it from outside. If you simply sit around and wait for it to happen it's unlikely to do so - you need to take the effort to get out and do it. That might mean doing some things you don't want to do - like hitting some AA meetins or seeing a drug/alcohol counselor.
Either way, just know that no matter how bad you feel today, it's not in any way an indication that things can't get better - they can and they do. You just need to become an active part of it.
What's important for you to remember as that all of these feelings are just that - feelings. Keep searching for that "reason" - and please remember that you may need help to find it from outside. If you simply sit around and wait for it to happen it's unlikely to do so - you need to take the effort to get out and do it. That might mean doing some things you don't want to do - like hitting some AA meetins or seeing a drug/alcohol counselor.
Either way, just know that no matter how bad you feel today, it's not in any way an indication that things can't get better - they can and they do. You just need to become an active part of it.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by SlickRick07
My thoughts today.
I still see a glimmer of hope at times, but it quickly fades to black. I no longer think there is hope even if I do get sober.
The VA still hasn't called me back to get me into the program. I'm not sure how long I'm going to wait until I call them again.
.
I still see a glimmer of hope at times, but it quickly fades to black. I no longer think there is hope even if I do get sober.
The VA still hasn't called me back to get me into the program. I'm not sure how long I'm going to wait until I call them again.
.
Now you have accepted that you are an alcoholic, and that you cannot drink in a controlled way, all you need is a good dollop of acceptance for where you are NOW, and another good dollop of willingness to move forward, and to learn.
There is a bright future ahead that is yours for the taking. But you've got to want it. No-one who wanted to stay a drunk got off that merry-go-round.
It's worth giving the VA people a call. It's okay to say that you're keen to get started and ask what you can expect.
It might also be worthwhile at least finding out the days; times and locations of the AA and SMART meetings available in your area and seeing if there are one or two you could get to each week.
Lots of people find that helping others is a great way to start feeling a bit less sub-human ourselves. You've obviously got lots of talents that could be put to use helping others. Maybe take a look at some volunteer schemes and organisations in your area. This may seem a crazy idea, but the reason I'm saying it is that hating on ourselves isn't conducive to either sobriety or recovery or getting out of any depressive state. Volunteering could counter some of that self-hate without feeding up the ego too much.
Take care Slick
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Sorry you are feeling this way Rick, writing it all down can definitely help.
What's important for you to remember as that all of these feelings are just that - feelings. Keep searching for that "reason" - and please remember that you may need help to find it from outside. If you simply sit around and wait for it to happen it's unlikely to do so - you need to take the effort to get out and do it. That might mean doing some things you don't want to do - like hitting some AA meetins or seeing a drug/alcohol counselor.
Either way, just know that no matter how bad you feel today, it's not in any way an indication that things can't get better - they can and they do. You just need to become an active part of it.
What's important for you to remember as that all of these feelings are just that - feelings. Keep searching for that "reason" - and please remember that you may need help to find it from outside. If you simply sit around and wait for it to happen it's unlikely to do so - you need to take the effort to get out and do it. That might mean doing some things you don't want to do - like hitting some AA meetins or seeing a drug/alcohol counselor.
Either way, just know that no matter how bad you feel today, it's not in any way an indication that things can't get better - they can and they do. You just need to become an active part of it.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Originally Posted by SlickRick07
Because of what you said earlier, I do want to go to an AA meeting. But every day this week I don't get off into to go to one. So I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Right now I feel like if she doesn't forgive me that I'm not going to be able to stay sober. I don't know why I feel like that right now, but I do. I just feel like its too little, too late.
The point I'm trying to make is that if you really need to get something done, there is ALWAYS a way to make it happen if you put your mind to it. Conversely, we can always come up with an excuse to NOT do something.
When I first quit I literally had to write down a daily calendar of all the thigns I was going to do every day, even simple things like doing laundry, grocery shopping, etc. Not only does it keep you on task but as you cross things off it gives you a sense that you've accomplished something for the day.
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Originally Posted by Beccybean
That's your AV telling you that it's hopeless even if you do get sober. You know - all those feelings, they were there hounding most of us before we entered recovery. There are two parts to all this. Sobriety: Staying Sober. And Recovery: Getting better; learning where we were going wrong; and how to shift our perspectives.
Now you have accepted that you are an alcoholic, and that you cannot drink in a controlled way, all you need is a good dollop of acceptance for where you are NOW, and another good dollop of willingness to move forward, and to learn.
There is a bright future ahead that is yours for the taking. But you've got to want it. No-one who wanted to stay a drunk got off that merry-go-round.
It's worth giving the VA people a call. It's okay to say that you're keen to get started and ask what you can expect.
It might also be worthwhile at least finding out the days; times and locations of the AA and SMART meetings available in your area and seeing if there are one or two you could get to each week.
Lots of people find that helping others is a great way to start feeling a bit less sub-human ourselves. You've obviously got lots of talents that could be put to use helping others. Maybe take a look at some volunteer schemes and organisations in your area. This may seem a crazy idea, but the reason I'm saying it is that hating on ourselves isn't conducive to either sobriety or recovery or getting out of any depressive state. Volunteering could counter some of that self-hate without feeding up the ego too much.
Take care Slick
Now you have accepted that you are an alcoholic, and that you cannot drink in a controlled way, all you need is a good dollop of acceptance for where you are NOW, and another good dollop of willingness to move forward, and to learn.
There is a bright future ahead that is yours for the taking. But you've got to want it. No-one who wanted to stay a drunk got off that merry-go-round.
It's worth giving the VA people a call. It's okay to say that you're keen to get started and ask what you can expect.
It might also be worthwhile at least finding out the days; times and locations of the AA and SMART meetings available in your area and seeing if there are one or two you could get to each week.
Lots of people find that helping others is a great way to start feeling a bit less sub-human ourselves. You've obviously got lots of talents that could be put to use helping others. Maybe take a look at some volunteer schemes and organisations in your area. This may seem a crazy idea, but the reason I'm saying it is that hating on ourselves isn't conducive to either sobriety or recovery or getting out of any depressive state. Volunteering could counter some of that self-hate without feeding up the ego too much.
Take care Slick
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Originally Posted by SlickRick07
Because of what you said earlier, I do want to go to an AA meeting. But every day this week I don't get off into to go to one. So I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Right now I feel like if she doesn't forgive me that I'm not going to be able to stay sober. I don't know why I feel like that right now, but I do. I just feel like its too little, too late.
That's codependence. Out and out. (Might be worth reading up on that as well - the CoDa handbook is a pretty good read).
If YOU decide to drink then YOU don't stay sober. This is down to you Slick. You can't put it on her. It was drinking that led to treating her badly and f**king it up in the first place - it sure as hell isn't going to start making things right.
There are two ways of looking at this responsibility for your own drinking.
1- The responsibility is too big and scary and it will mean you have to take blame if it goes **** up. There is noone else to push the onus onto.
or
2 - If YOU are responsible for it then you can do this thing. It just needs less self-pity and more humility. And a readiness to do what it takes. Whether that be getting out of your comfort zone and doing things you don't necessarily want to do, or be it not collapsing when you get in at the end of the day but splashing some water on your face, changing your shirt and getting yourself to a meeting where you can learn how to do this thing.
I reckon you can do this. If you want it.
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Try and break things down into very simple steps that you can identify and work on. For example, the whole relationship thing is very complex and largely beyond your control anyway. How about instead you work on taking care of yourself, just today? One of your immediate goals would be to make it to some kind of recovery meeting, right? Maybe you could work on just that today. Can you find one that is on your lunch break? Or maybe on the way home? Not sure what kind of policies your work has but maybe you could just say you have a personal appointment to attend to? Or perhaps you could take a half day of leave?
The point I'm trying to make is that if you really need to get something done, there is ALWAYS a way to make it happen if you put your mind to it. Conversely, we can always come up with an excuse to NOT do something.
When I first quit I literally had to write down a daily calendar of all the thigns I was going to do every day, even simple things like doing laundry, grocery shopping, etc. Not only does it keep you on task but as you cross things off it gives you a sense that you've accomplished something for the day.
The point I'm trying to make is that if you really need to get something done, there is ALWAYS a way to make it happen if you put your mind to it. Conversely, we can always come up with an excuse to NOT do something.
When I first quit I literally had to write down a daily calendar of all the thigns I was going to do every day, even simple things like doing laundry, grocery shopping, etc. Not only does it keep you on task but as you cross things off it gives you a sense that you've accomplished something for the day.
Originally Posted by Beccybean
No. It's not if she doesn't forgive you, you can't stay sober.
That's codependence. Out and out. (Might be worth reading up on that as well - the CoDa handbook is a pretty good read).
If YOU decide to drink then YOU don't stay sober. This is down to you Slick. You can't put it on her. It was drinking that led to treating her badly and f**king it up in the first place - it sure as hell isn't going to start making things right.
There are two ways of looking at this responsibility for your own drinking.
1- The responsibility is too big and scary and it will mean you have to take blame if it goes **** up. There is noone else to push the onus onto.
or
2 - If YOU are responsible for it then you can do this thing. It just needs less self-pity and more humility. And a readiness to do what it takes. Whether that be getting out of your comfort zone and doing things you don't necessarily want to do, or be it not collapsing when you get in at the end of the day but splashing some water on your face, changing your shirt and getting yourself to a meeting where you can learn how to do this thing.
I reckon you can do this. If you want it.
That's codependence. Out and out. (Might be worth reading up on that as well - the CoDa handbook is a pretty good read).
If YOU decide to drink then YOU don't stay sober. This is down to you Slick. You can't put it on her. It was drinking that led to treating her badly and f**king it up in the first place - it sure as hell isn't going to start making things right.
There are two ways of looking at this responsibility for your own drinking.
1- The responsibility is too big and scary and it will mean you have to take blame if it goes **** up. There is noone else to push the onus onto.
or
2 - If YOU are responsible for it then you can do this thing. It just needs less self-pity and more humility. And a readiness to do what it takes. Whether that be getting out of your comfort zone and doing things you don't necessarily want to do, or be it not collapsing when you get in at the end of the day but splashing some water on your face, changing your shirt and getting yourself to a meeting where you can learn how to do this thing.
I reckon you can do this. If you want it.
I'm embarrassed about being an alcoholic and maybe that's why its taken me this long. I will look over my schedule and find a way to a meeting this week.
I found a meeting at 8pm on Saturday, but I don't get off until 8pm that night and it'll take me 10 minutes to get there. I don't know if its okay to show up late, but I do want to go. Its an open recovery group.
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I'm sure they'd rather you get there 10 mins late than not at all.
Might be worth seeing if there's a contact for the group and chatting to someone. If you've already told them that you'll get there a little late you won't feel so strange about it at the time.
Is there any chance of getting off work early just for the first time you go?
Might be worth seeing if there's a contact for the group and chatting to someone. If you've already told them that you'll get there a little late you won't feel so strange about it at the time.
Is there any chance of getting off work early just for the first time you go?
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Originally Posted by Beccybean
I'm sure they'd rather you get there 10 mins late than not at all.
Might be worth seeing if there's a contact for the group and chatting to someone. If you've already told them that you'll get there a little late you won't feel so strange about it at the time.
Is there any chance of getting off work early just for the first time you go?
Might be worth seeing if there's a contact for the group and chatting to someone. If you've already told them that you'll get there a little late you won't feel so strange about it at the time.
Is there any chance of getting off work early just for the first time you go?
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Originally Posted by SlickRick07
I'm embarrassed about being an alcoholic and maybe that's why its taken me this long. .
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Yes. The embarrassment.
I think that's another area where AA helped me to be honest. I have met so many amazing people in the rooms. A nuclear engineer with a 1977 sobriety date blew my mind on Sunday. But I've met surgeons, housewives, teachers, social workers, publishers, mothers, grandmothers, lawyers, nurses, plumbers, lorry drivers, pensioners, etc. etc. in those rooms - and most of them are bloody amazing. Not only amazing, but so compassionate. And intelligent. And strong.
It certainly lessened the embarrassment when I got to see what company I'm in.
I think that's another area where AA helped me to be honest. I have met so many amazing people in the rooms. A nuclear engineer with a 1977 sobriety date blew my mind on Sunday. But I've met surgeons, housewives, teachers, social workers, publishers, mothers, grandmothers, lawyers, nurses, plumbers, lorry drivers, pensioners, etc. etc. in those rooms - and most of them are bloody amazing. Not only amazing, but so compassionate. And intelligent. And strong.
It certainly lessened the embarrassment when I got to see what company I'm in.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Welcome. Anger is fear with a disguise on, and it really does not help us drunks. Try and move past it to what is lying underneath. Everyone is afraid of change and of the possibility of failure, both of which are an integral part of stopping any addiction. And with your girlfriend in the balance this fear is exacerbated. I am with those that said that this is one of those cases where actions really do speak so much loader than words. But realise that if she takes you back, sobriety comes with it. With someone else you might be able to hide your problem for a while, but with her, that gig is up. So don't go back until you mean it, really, in your heart not just your head. Good luck.
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I've had some time to finally objective think about things today. I went on a long walk and I thought. Here are the events of that night.
>Guy at work tells me there will be a guy there that used to have a thing with my gf
>Gf doesn't mention this all see says is that he will test me a bit b/c hes insecure
>I start drinking way too much b/c I don't know anyone there and feel awkward
>That guy and I get into it but no punches are thrown
>I'm way too drunk and act like an idiot, gf is sober
>I stay the night and act like a drunk idiot and get emotional. I threaten to leave a bunch of times b/c I feel bad.
>Gf gets fed up and goes to sleep downstairs
>Next day tells me she can't separate the two people
>I show up at her house with flowers and tell her I'm sorry. She gives me a hug and says not to get my hopes up but she just needs some time to think
>Haven't talked to her since that day, but have felt sick with guilt and depressed.
Keep in mind, I've made her dinner, gone on walks and done just about everything I can to be a good bf. One night doesn't over ride all of that. I was out of line and drank way too much. A mistake I won't make again. Probably should've brought beer instead of drinking a fifth by myself.
Anyway, I had this epiphany today. I've been sick with guilt, depressed, and have been lashing out at everyone.
For what?
It was one night of drunken drama and I've already apologized to everyone even that guy.
If she can't see the person I really am, then I don't care. She can't hold one night against me after the boyfriend I've been to her. Its crazy.
So, tomorrow I'm going to wake up and have my regular zest for life. I refuse to feel guilty anymore about this. Because I've made amends and realize I made a mistake, but it wasn't like I hit her. I was just a drunk emotional idiot. If she can't see that, then I don't want her.
>Guy at work tells me there will be a guy there that used to have a thing with my gf
>Gf doesn't mention this all see says is that he will test me a bit b/c hes insecure
>I start drinking way too much b/c I don't know anyone there and feel awkward
>That guy and I get into it but no punches are thrown
>I'm way too drunk and act like an idiot, gf is sober
>I stay the night and act like a drunk idiot and get emotional. I threaten to leave a bunch of times b/c I feel bad.
>Gf gets fed up and goes to sleep downstairs
>Next day tells me she can't separate the two people
>I show up at her house with flowers and tell her I'm sorry. She gives me a hug and says not to get my hopes up but she just needs some time to think
>Haven't talked to her since that day, but have felt sick with guilt and depressed.
Keep in mind, I've made her dinner, gone on walks and done just about everything I can to be a good bf. One night doesn't over ride all of that. I was out of line and drank way too much. A mistake I won't make again. Probably should've brought beer instead of drinking a fifth by myself.
Anyway, I had this epiphany today. I've been sick with guilt, depressed, and have been lashing out at everyone.
For what?
It was one night of drunken drama and I've already apologized to everyone even that guy.
If she can't see the person I really am, then I don't care. She can't hold one night against me after the boyfriend I've been to her. Its crazy.
So, tomorrow I'm going to wake up and have my regular zest for life. I refuse to feel guilty anymore about this. Because I've made amends and realize I made a mistake, but it wasn't like I hit her. I was just a drunk emotional idiot. If she can't see that, then I don't want her.
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'Because I've made amends'
No - you haven't made amends. You apologised. Amends would be making it better for HER. You said sorry to her, but have then spend the rest of the time feeling sorry FOR YOURSELF.
'.... and realize I made a mistake, but it wasn't like I hit her. '
You objectified her. You got jealous because her ex was there and you put your own feelings above hers and embarrassed her. She doesn't need that kind of crap to be dealing with on what should be a fun night. You didn't exactly behave like a great boyfriend Slick.
'....I was just a drunk emotional idiot. If she can't see that, then I don't want her.'
Maybe she does see that. Maybe she just doesn't want to spend her life with a drunk idiot. She didn't say you're the devil incarnate, just that she needs time to think about what she wants. She's not punishing you, she's thinking about what she wants, and that's okay. She's allowed to do that. In fact it's the sensible thing for her to be doing.
You're still looking at this whole thing as if you're the only person in this relationship who has any right to an opinion.
No - you haven't made amends. You apologised. Amends would be making it better for HER. You said sorry to her, but have then spend the rest of the time feeling sorry FOR YOURSELF.
'.... and realize I made a mistake, but it wasn't like I hit her. '
You objectified her. You got jealous because her ex was there and you put your own feelings above hers and embarrassed her. She doesn't need that kind of crap to be dealing with on what should be a fun night. You didn't exactly behave like a great boyfriend Slick.
'....I was just a drunk emotional idiot. If she can't see that, then I don't want her.'
Maybe she does see that. Maybe she just doesn't want to spend her life with a drunk idiot. She didn't say you're the devil incarnate, just that she needs time to think about what she wants. She's not punishing you, she's thinking about what she wants, and that's okay. She's allowed to do that. In fact it's the sensible thing for her to be doing.
You're still looking at this whole thing as if you're the only person in this relationship who has any right to an opinion.
Resolutely Staying Sober ODAAT
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 103
Vets and Addiction
Hey Rick,
I can fully relate to what you are going though. I too am a vet, and my addictions were not only started, but fully fostered and supported during my time in the service.
It seems as though most of the guys that I still know from the service have had some type of addiction issues (mainly with alcohol) and have had to seek out help.
It is a different world that you, I, and others like us have had to live for a number of years. Many non service civilians do not understand how the non-publicized military actually operates.
I finally broke down and had to go see a doc about getting some meds to deal with the issues in my head. That has helped me immensely with coping with the "old" military me, and the "new" civilian that I am. There are drastic differences between the two worlds, and what was considered acceptable and "normal" is seen in a whole other light in the civilian world.
Go see a doc, and don't be afraid of AA. While I too, don't have a great amount of faith in the Christian portrayal of spirituality, a "Greater Power" does not have to center around God, Mohammad, Buddah, etc...if in your mind (as mine) that greater power is just the magnificence of the world around you, and the science and physics that helped create it, you can view that as your greater power.
You got this, I know your struggle, I have been there and screwed my life up beyond repair on more than one occasion. It finally took a good woman (who put up with my BS for FAR too long), some willpower, and some crazy pills to get me even keeled, but it has finally gotten me there!
Don't be afraid to reach out for help, there are people out there that are more than willing to understand and lend a helping hand!
While I have cravings at times, my biggest struggle is getting over the peer pressure. I am the guy that NEVER turned down a drink, always took a challenge, and could quite easily drink many people under the table. That is not who I want to be anymore, now I just have to convince my associates that too.
I can fully relate to what you are going though. I too am a vet, and my addictions were not only started, but fully fostered and supported during my time in the service.
It seems as though most of the guys that I still know from the service have had some type of addiction issues (mainly with alcohol) and have had to seek out help.
It is a different world that you, I, and others like us have had to live for a number of years. Many non service civilians do not understand how the non-publicized military actually operates.
I finally broke down and had to go see a doc about getting some meds to deal with the issues in my head. That has helped me immensely with coping with the "old" military me, and the "new" civilian that I am. There are drastic differences between the two worlds, and what was considered acceptable and "normal" is seen in a whole other light in the civilian world.
Go see a doc, and don't be afraid of AA. While I too, don't have a great amount of faith in the Christian portrayal of spirituality, a "Greater Power" does not have to center around God, Mohammad, Buddah, etc...if in your mind (as mine) that greater power is just the magnificence of the world around you, and the science and physics that helped create it, you can view that as your greater power.
You got this, I know your struggle, I have been there and screwed my life up beyond repair on more than one occasion. It finally took a good woman (who put up with my BS for FAR too long), some willpower, and some crazy pills to get me even keeled, but it has finally gotten me there!
Don't be afraid to reach out for help, there are people out there that are more than willing to understand and lend a helping hand!
While I have cravings at times, my biggest struggle is getting over the peer pressure. I am the guy that NEVER turned down a drink, always took a challenge, and could quite easily drink many people under the table. That is not who I want to be anymore, now I just have to convince my associates that too.
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