strat's positive thinking thread
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Originally Posted by Della1968 
Can I get a heads up about tomorrow's exercise? Then I can think about it tonight and appear super enlightened in the morning!
Reflect on how you felt when you first got sober. How did you feel? Reflect on how you feel now. How have you changed for the better? List the positive changes you have seen in yourself with sobriety.
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awe delf, thanks for the kind words
i was speaking, telling my story, my theme was "being & staying positive though adversity and not picking up a drink"
and lemetellya's, i've had my share of adversity in recovery!
bottom line is, it's doable!
i was speaking, telling my story, my theme was "being & staying positive though adversity and not picking up a drink"
and lemetellya's, i've had my share of adversity in recovery!
bottom line is, it's doable!
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keeping positive when struggling part 1
One of the things that I think is absolutely critical for long-term sobriety, is positive thinking when we’re struggling. I really think how we think when we’re struggling, plays a huge factor in whether we relapse or keep on going. The next few days I hope to cover some ways of keeping positive when struggling since I think it’s something we can all relate to and can learn from each other.
One of the tools that keeps me positive about sobriety, is thinking about where I was when I first came to SR. I still can remember how broken I was in terms of my spirit, the shame, and how horrible I felt about myself. It makes me sad to think about it. One of the things that I do on a regular basis that keeps me going, especially when struggling, is thinking about where I was when I first came to SR. Then I think about the positive things that have occurred with sobriety. It really is quite amazing to see all the little changes add up and they really do add up. They do not have to be anything big. When I was in early sobriety, there were a lot of small positive changes, but they were small. Reflecting on positive changes in sobriety doesn’t mean your life is all puppies and rainbows or that your journey has been that way either.
Before I leave you to the exercise, I wanted to share a story for those with shorter sobriety since I don’t want anyone getting down and thinking that nothing positive has happened to them. To get you started think about things like waking up sober, not being embarrassed to empty the recycle bin, etc.
I still remember when I was in early sobriety and hearing about people experiencing the miracle and how their life was awesome. I kept on looking for this miracle every single month waiting for it to happen. My life was okay, but it wasn’t awesome. At 4 months of sobriety, I felt like I was in early sobriety again for a brief stretch. I was angry and upset and I asked God in frustration, "where is my miracle"? In that struggle, he gave me insight. When I thought back to where I was and all the small changes that had been occurring, it was all of those changes that were the miracle and continue to be the miracle.
Today's exercise: Reflect on how you felt when you first got sober. How did you feel? Reflect on how you feel now. How have you changed for the better? List the positive changes you have seen in yourself with sobriety.
One of the tools that keeps me positive about sobriety, is thinking about where I was when I first came to SR. I still can remember how broken I was in terms of my spirit, the shame, and how horrible I felt about myself. It makes me sad to think about it. One of the things that I do on a regular basis that keeps me going, especially when struggling, is thinking about where I was when I first came to SR. Then I think about the positive things that have occurred with sobriety. It really is quite amazing to see all the little changes add up and they really do add up. They do not have to be anything big. When I was in early sobriety, there were a lot of small positive changes, but they were small. Reflecting on positive changes in sobriety doesn’t mean your life is all puppies and rainbows or that your journey has been that way either.
Before I leave you to the exercise, I wanted to share a story for those with shorter sobriety since I don’t want anyone getting down and thinking that nothing positive has happened to them. To get you started think about things like waking up sober, not being embarrassed to empty the recycle bin, etc.
I still remember when I was in early sobriety and hearing about people experiencing the miracle and how their life was awesome. I kept on looking for this miracle every single month waiting for it to happen. My life was okay, but it wasn’t awesome. At 4 months of sobriety, I felt like I was in early sobriety again for a brief stretch. I was angry and upset and I asked God in frustration, "where is my miracle"? In that struggle, he gave me insight. When I thought back to where I was and all the small changes that had been occurring, it was all of those changes that were the miracle and continue to be the miracle.
Today's exercise: Reflect on how you felt when you first got sober. How did you feel? Reflect on how you feel now. How have you changed for the better? List the positive changes you have seen in yourself with sobriety.
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Originally Posted by KeyofC
This is awesome! Do we reply or are you wanting us to just do this on our own? Thanks! 
It's whatever you would like to do. You can do it on your own or share after you do the exercise.
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How did I feel when I first started sobriety? Mad as hell. I was so angry that everyone thought I had the problem. I was angry that everyone was mad at me when I was mad at them and rightfully so. I was mad that they had the nerve to say I ruined every get together we had ever had and how their lives were better without me in it. I was angry that they felt they had the right to comment on how I drank, how much, how often. I was depressed. I was consumed with grief, guilt, stress, worry, hatefulness. What a complete mess I was. I was scared. Scared that I would lose everything I have known. Without alcohol nobody would want me. (How sick was that?)
Today (Young in my sobriety still at 67 days):
My life has changed dramatically. I am so glad those people came forward because it brought awareness to my drinking to me and everyone who loved me. Today I recognize I am loved and worth loving. I am happier. I am fog free. I am finding peace. I am feeling happiness. I am seeing that in order for my life to be different, I have to do things different. I have to guard sobriety like its gold. I have to make a conscious effort to recommit every day to it and have a plan in place and follow it. People who know me see the change in me. My husband says I am more positive, loving, caring, and kind. He sees I am happier and full of life. He sees the difference in my relationship with my young adult children and even between him and me.
I am working my recovery. I am changing my thinking to change my thinking and my actions and reactions. Sobriety is my number 1 priority. I am working on my connection with my HP. I am in touch with AA and Alanon members who I have known personally for most of my life. I come to SR for reinforcement. I read anything I can get my hands on. Everyday I do the deal. Everyday it's the first thing on my list and the last to check off the list before bed. All day. I am living again. Sober…and I am so happy about it!
Today (Young in my sobriety still at 67 days):
My life has changed dramatically. I am so glad those people came forward because it brought awareness to my drinking to me and everyone who loved me. Today I recognize I am loved and worth loving. I am happier. I am fog free. I am finding peace. I am feeling happiness. I am seeing that in order for my life to be different, I have to do things different. I have to guard sobriety like its gold. I have to make a conscious effort to recommit every day to it and have a plan in place and follow it. People who know me see the change in me. My husband says I am more positive, loving, caring, and kind. He sees I am happier and full of life. He sees the difference in my relationship with my young adult children and even between him and me.
I am working my recovery. I am changing my thinking to change my thinking and my actions and reactions. Sobriety is my number 1 priority. I am working on my connection with my HP. I am in touch with AA and Alanon members who I have known personally for most of my life. I come to SR for reinforcement. I read anything I can get my hands on. Everyday I do the deal. Everyday it's the first thing on my list and the last to check off the list before bed. All day. I am living again. Sober…and I am so happy about it!
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Dear Strat, As you know - I've been gone a few days & am just seeing this now. I think it's wonderful! I'll be participating too. Thank you for unselfishly coming up with an idea that will help many. That's so you.
How I felt when I first got sober was resentful. Fear of missing out was definitely in full swing. I knew I'd die if I didn't stay sober, but couldn't imagine not being able to fall back on my old friend. Once I got past being angry and on edge, I began to cherish the peace that descended over me. No more hungover mornings or plotting when my next drinking opportunity would be. In spite of myself, I started to feel free. That feeling took over, and has never left.
I'll be participating too. Thank you for unselfishly coming up with an idea that will help many. That's so you. How I felt when I first got sober was resentful. Fear of missing out was definitely in full swing. I knew I'd die if I didn't stay sober, but couldn't imagine not being able to fall back on my old friend. Once I got past being angry and on edge, I began to cherish the peace that descended over me. No more hungover mornings or plotting when my next drinking opportunity would be. In spite of myself, I started to feel free. That feeling took over, and has never left.
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I love the contributions and the exercises.
When I first got sober, I was going through what I call a "dark night of the soul".
I was anxious and feeling suicidal, I mean like google a bridge to jump from and prep your funeral arrangement suicidal.
I knew that I had to quit drinking and get back in recovery/change my thinking or I would be gone.
Today, I feel mostly content. One thing (which you mentioned in yesterday's post about fear) which has truly helped me is mindfulness and meditation.
When I feel like I am close to getting overwhelmed or stepping too close to that depressive abyss, I stop and meditate and reset myself to the moment.
Mindfulness is truly a powerful tool and it is also (meditation, relaxation) a tool which is readily available on the internet) and absolutely free,
When I first got sober, I was going through what I call a "dark night of the soul".
I was anxious and feeling suicidal, I mean like google a bridge to jump from and prep your funeral arrangement suicidal.
I knew that I had to quit drinking and get back in recovery/change my thinking or I would be gone.
Today, I feel mostly content. One thing (which you mentioned in yesterday's post about fear) which has truly helped me is mindfulness and meditation.
When I feel like I am close to getting overwhelmed or stepping too close to that depressive abyss, I stop and meditate and reset myself to the moment.
Mindfulness is truly a powerful tool and it is also (meditation, relaxation) a tool which is readily available on the internet) and absolutely free,
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I felt relieved when I first got sober. I had a pretty infamous DWI and I think it was a relief that it was out in the open for EVERYONE to see. I didn't have to pretend to be functioning anymore. Couldn't just drive myself to the store when the cravings got intense. No more thinking I was hiding it and trying to act like I was ok. I wasn't and now everyone was aware of it. I had nowhere to go but forward.
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When I first tried to get sober, I felt very, very scared because I honestly didn't think I could quit and stay sober. For me, this was truly a leap of faith based on nothing but the fact that I saw many of you on the path to sobriety and I decided to trust, and to follow you on that path. Best decision I've ever made, and I couldn't have asked for better travel companions.
How has being sober changed me for the better? I am more grateful and appreciative for what I have. I also feel braver than I have in a very long time. Right now, I'm going through some difficult moments facing things that I'd hidden from under a haze of alcohol- things from my past, and choices I have to make for the future. But I feel like I can get through these difficult moments because even with only two months of sobriety, I feel braver than I did when I was drinking. Alcohol gave me a false sense of security and courage. Now, I'm finding the real courage that's within me, and that's a really amazing thing.
Delfin
How has being sober changed me for the better? I am more grateful and appreciative for what I have. I also feel braver than I have in a very long time. Right now, I'm going through some difficult moments facing things that I'd hidden from under a haze of alcohol- things from my past, and choices I have to make for the future. But I feel like I can get through these difficult moments because even with only two months of sobriety, I feel braver than I did when I was drinking. Alcohol gave me a false sense of security and courage. Now, I'm finding the real courage that's within me, and that's a really amazing thing.
Delfin
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keeping positive when struggling part 2
Thank you all so much for all your wonderful shares! One of the things that was awesome to see, is that we each came here feeling different things. While our lives have improved with sobriety in many positive ways, what we feel has changed for the positive is also unique. While we may come to sobriety broken, with work and faith, we become better and it is truly a thing of beauty to witness.
Today, we are continuing with keeping positive when struggling.
One of my favorite quotes is by Albert Einstein, which is, "in the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity". When we are struggling, it isn’t easy and I don’t think it’s something any of us look forward to since it is so hard. However, I think it does present new opportunities. Some of my greatest periods of growth and insight have been when I struggled. Through struggling, we have to examine ourselves by looking inward to figure out how we want to proceed. I’ve had to challenge a lot of thoughts, feelings, and have had to do a lot of work to figure out who I am since I lost a lot of myself with drinking for the years that I did. The thing with sobriety, is there are good days and bad days. There are some days that are truly hard, but as we progress, the struggles get less and less. While we may dread those days, one of the things I think about with those days, is the fact it is making me stronger and better. By doing this, it helps me appreciate the struggle.
Today’s exercise: Think about the last time you were struggling. Why were you struggling? What were you feeling? With this struggle, what did you learn?
Today, we are continuing with keeping positive when struggling.
One of my favorite quotes is by Albert Einstein, which is, "in the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity". When we are struggling, it isn’t easy and I don’t think it’s something any of us look forward to since it is so hard. However, I think it does present new opportunities. Some of my greatest periods of growth and insight have been when I struggled. Through struggling, we have to examine ourselves by looking inward to figure out how we want to proceed. I’ve had to challenge a lot of thoughts, feelings, and have had to do a lot of work to figure out who I am since I lost a lot of myself with drinking for the years that I did. The thing with sobriety, is there are good days and bad days. There are some days that are truly hard, but as we progress, the struggles get less and less. While we may dread those days, one of the things I think about with those days, is the fact it is making me stronger and better. By doing this, it helps me appreciate the struggle.
Today’s exercise: Think about the last time you were struggling. Why were you struggling? What were you feeling? With this struggle, what did you learn?
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The last time I was struggling was just a few weeks ago before my “awakening”. I was in the grips of depression, anxiety, and worry. I felt so lost, hopeless, and alone. I wasn’t drinking but I didn’t feel good, nor did I have happiness, fulfillment in my life. Why was I so empty? Why did I feel like my cards were stacked against me? Wasn’t me not drinking the deal I made that was so magically supposed to “poof” make my life better?
I had admitted my life was unmanageable and I was powerless over alcohol. I did that… so why weren’t things feeling better to me?
I hadn’t truly gotten it.
I hadn’t accepted the fact that I can’t drink.
I hadn’t surrendered myself. I hadn’t changed my thinking.
I hadn’t changed a dang thing.
It wasn’t until someone posted here in SR that talked about these things that I finally had an Aha! moment. These things weren’t just going to magically appear. I had to change things for things to change. Once I got this all those feelings disappeared. I was able to see if I work it…things will change. Talk about an overwhelming feeling. Still I am amazed how much this changed my life once I realized what needed to happen for things to start happening. I am open to everything now. I am working on my sobriety evert day. It’s my #1 priority, no matter what. I am learning about my HP (that can be whatever you need it to be as long as it holds me accountable) and how my HP can help me. I am learning to have a plan and stick to it. I am learning what to do in crisis mode, cause those times will come, this is life after all.
My cup spilleth over right now. I can’t even share enough how great I feel!
I had admitted my life was unmanageable and I was powerless over alcohol. I did that… so why weren’t things feeling better to me?
I hadn’t truly gotten it.
I hadn’t accepted the fact that I can’t drink.
I hadn’t surrendered myself. I hadn’t changed my thinking.
I hadn’t changed a dang thing.
It wasn’t until someone posted here in SR that talked about these things that I finally had an Aha! moment. These things weren’t just going to magically appear. I had to change things for things to change. Once I got this all those feelings disappeared. I was able to see if I work it…things will change. Talk about an overwhelming feeling. Still I am amazed how much this changed my life once I realized what needed to happen for things to start happening. I am open to everything now. I am working on my sobriety evert day. It’s my #1 priority, no matter what. I am learning about my HP (that can be whatever you need it to be as long as it holds me accountable) and how my HP can help me. I am learning to have a plan and stick to it. I am learning what to do in crisis mode, cause those times will come, this is life after all.
My cup spilleth over right now. I can’t even share enough how great I feel!
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I definitely had many of those same feelings early on, KeyofC. Well said.
In the beginning of my (attempted) recovery days, I just poured alcohol over my struggles. I simply didn't get it - hadn't learned to stop relying on it for comfort or relief. I'd been using it for decades to numb my insecurities and doubts. Never realized I was keeping myself from growing as a person. Yes, in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity - if only we will see it.
In the beginning of my (attempted) recovery days, I just poured alcohol over my struggles. I simply didn't get it - hadn't learned to stop relying on it for comfort or relief. I'd been using it for decades to numb my insecurities and doubts. Never realized I was keeping myself from growing as a person. Yes, in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity - if only we will see it.
Behold the power of NO
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This is my second time in recovery and I must admit that both times, I really did not struggle with thoughts about alcohol etc.
I have a very quiet AV which is both good (I did not crave and obsess like so many do in early sobriety) and bad.
I relapsed after 5 years when things got really tough for me and I had no support system. My AV chose that moment to raise its ugly head and I was ill prepared to deal with it..
I very rarely think of drinking... at most it might be a fleeting thought like:
hmm this is the kind of hot day where a cold beer would be nice.
One thing differently this time I did to be proactive is make sure I have a diverse support system (not just AA) and multiple tools on my belt (which include AVRT).
Like that, if I ever get back in a spot where things are going really South in my life and I am disconnected from f2f support I will be prepared to deal with the AV:
I don't drink no matter what and my sobriety is not negotiable
and I also have 24/7 support through the internet
Last but not least, accepting that I can never drink safely again and being ok with it (acceptance) as soon as I decided to quit probably really helped a lot when it comes to not having to struggle.
I have a very quiet AV which is both good (I did not crave and obsess like so many do in early sobriety) and bad.
I relapsed after 5 years when things got really tough for me and I had no support system. My AV chose that moment to raise its ugly head and I was ill prepared to deal with it..
I very rarely think of drinking... at most it might be a fleeting thought like:
hmm this is the kind of hot day where a cold beer would be nice.
One thing differently this time I did to be proactive is make sure I have a diverse support system (not just AA) and multiple tools on my belt (which include AVRT).
Like that, if I ever get back in a spot where things are going really South in my life and I am disconnected from f2f support I will be prepared to deal with the AV:
I don't drink no matter what and my sobriety is not negotiable
and I also have 24/7 support through the internet
Last but not least, accepting that I can never drink safely again and being ok with it (acceptance) as soon as I decided to quit probably really helped a lot when it comes to not having to struggle.
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Really good thread. Lots of revelations & sharing.
For me I guess there is both low and high esteem together. Like ying and yang going on at the same time. I'm so sure I can figure a way out of this addiction that I won't ask for help. Then I drink again and feel like such a moron.
And I don't know if it's ego or low self esteem that has prevented me from getting help from AA. I'm in therapy but may have to drop it with the loss of my job - not due to alcohol. My therapist keeps guiding me to AA.
Low self esteem, fear, anxiety - they can paralyze. The mindfulness Carlotta mentioned is something I will try to develop.
OK - I'm rambling... really good input from everybody.
For me I guess there is both low and high esteem together. Like ying and yang going on at the same time. I'm so sure I can figure a way out of this addiction that I won't ask for help. Then I drink again and feel like such a moron.
And I don't know if it's ego or low self esteem that has prevented me from getting help from AA. I'm in therapy but may have to drop it with the loss of my job - not due to alcohol. My therapist keeps guiding me to AA.
Low self esteem, fear, anxiety - they can paralyze. The mindfulness Carlotta mentioned is something I will try to develop.
OK - I'm rambling... really good input from everybody.
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This thread is a great help to me right now. This past week my elderly parents both had health crises, and I've been helping to take care of them. I do find myself drifting into fear and worry sometimes.
It helps to be reminded that I only have to "do" today, and in fact now is the only time actually available to me. So no sense trying to anticipate things that might or might not happen in the future.
One thing that I find helps me with fear, or obsessive thinking of any kind, is a sort-of-prayer. I say "sort-of", because I'm still working out the higher power stuff. I try not to worry exactly who or what I'm "praying" to, maybe it's just the higher, better aspect of my self (not my ego). I just ask for help -- "help me to care for my parents today. Please help me to stay in the present for today. May I be kind and gentle today, toward myself and others." Then I'll start repeating the serenity prayer over and over in my head. That repetition seems to take the place of worry ... the worried thoughts have no place to be, and they fade away (at least temporarily).
Thanks strat -- good thread & topic.
It helps to be reminded that I only have to "do" today, and in fact now is the only time actually available to me. So no sense trying to anticipate things that might or might not happen in the future.
One thing that I find helps me with fear, or obsessive thinking of any kind, is a sort-of-prayer. I say "sort-of", because I'm still working out the higher power stuff. I try not to worry exactly who or what I'm "praying" to, maybe it's just the higher, better aspect of my self (not my ego). I just ask for help -- "help me to care for my parents today. Please help me to stay in the present for today. May I be kind and gentle today, toward myself and others." Then I'll start repeating the serenity prayer over and over in my head. That repetition seems to take the place of worry ... the worried thoughts have no place to be, and they fade away (at least temporarily).
Thanks strat -- good thread & topic.
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