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Dealing with stressful situation

Old 08-31-2015, 07:15 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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You get to decide for yourself what kind of interaction you're willing to have, and how often, that's an adult prerogative with all people including parents. I put my sister on a back burner in early recovery, and I'm very glad I did because she was very triggering to me - if your parents are interfering with your recovery and happiness, you're absolutely free to put some distance between you and them for a while. Maybe later you can explain why.
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Old 08-31-2015, 07:02 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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There is nothing wrong with the whole not having a girlfriend aspect. I am 26 haven't had a girlfriend since I was 17 in high school probably because I am shy . I don't look at it in a bad way though. I'm an introvert by nature and I don't really enjoy talking to people a lot. I truly enjoy my alone time. The bottom line is if your mom hadn't of brought any of this discussion up you would probably be okay with yourself right? Don't do a complete 180 with your life just to make your mom happy. If you were already happy then shouldn't your mom be happy that you were happy? You should only change if you feel you need to change. It's your life and every body lives differently.
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Old 08-31-2015, 07:25 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Hi Freddie, I can totally relate!! Im 34 single no kids. If i may suggest what helped me: therapy, learning about codependency, learning about "differentiating" from my parents, decreasing contact, and being VERY specific with boundaries. "Mom, when you talk about X, I'm going to switch the subject or stop the conversation. " I explained "I want an ADULT relationship with you, not a child relationship." And I'm sorry to be blunt but "mothers worry" is a b.s. excuse for BAD BOUNDARIES. I worry about a lot of things but putting my worry on others would be MY fault, not theirs. I've said to mom before "i cannot help you with your feelings on this."

Sorry but I could write a book about how my life changed when I realized poor boundaries were at the CORE of my addictions. And at the core of all my poor boundaries was guess who? Me and my mother. I'm part to blame because I never differentiated and set boundaries.

Now that I have set boundaries (I started boundary - setting the beginning of 2015 with a therapists help), I'm finally feeling free of the extreme anger of feeling trapped and repressed. You deserve the same!
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