So exhausted
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by sleepie 
Thank you Trix I take that as a compliment!
It's non verbal learning disorder. I can repost a video about it, this author has it. I suspect I have ADD too since I was diagnosed waaay back with a neurological disorder that often goes comorbid (?) with non verbal learning disorder OCD and ADD.
So as much as I want an official diagnosis I have to get a job with benefits because the testing would cost thousands of dollars- in desperation over the winter I tried to reach out to several people and organizations and finally successfully connected with a neuropsychologist who I spoke with over the phone. I shared with her my test results that I'd taken a several times as a teen and my entire history of standardized testing (I still have them from when I was a kid) and she agreed yes I am spot on and have this disorder but to test again it would be thousands of dollars.
Non verbal learning disorder is not a recognized disorder. It is not in the diagnostic manual and therefore not eligible for anything as far as help. It's a disability that is also invisible. Here's a good explanation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk7inZOfv7M
It's non verbal learning disorder. I can repost a video about it, this author has it. I suspect I have ADD too since I was diagnosed waaay back with a neurological disorder that often goes comorbid (?) with non verbal learning disorder OCD and ADD.
So as much as I want an official diagnosis I have to get a job with benefits because the testing would cost thousands of dollars- in desperation over the winter I tried to reach out to several people and organizations and finally successfully connected with a neuropsychologist who I spoke with over the phone. I shared with her my test results that I'd taken a several times as a teen and my entire history of standardized testing (I still have them from when I was a kid) and she agreed yes I am spot on and have this disorder but to test again it would be thousands of dollars.
Non verbal learning disorder is not a recognized disorder. It is not in the diagnostic manual and therefore not eligible for anything as far as help. It's a disability that is also invisible. Here's a good explanation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk7inZOfv7M
That entire vid site is about people like you with NLD. This is where you could watch every vid that pertains to you and even connect with people like you, so you would not be so frustrated at NOT being understood. It is an invisible condition that some wish they could just have a sign over their head that tell everyone I have NLD this is what it is and this is what you need to do to help me cope.
One of the vids has said you NEED to EMBRACE what your stregnths are and what you love to do, what brings you joy. If it is Art and Writing than you need to learn the things you do not understand through your love and interest in these things.
There are many jobs that you can do from home that involve writing and art. There is a vid by Jack Choros that you should watch it can help with your search for a fitting job.
Concentrate on what you are good at and love and live and learn through that love. I know sounds easy--but it is a great set of vids , with people who DO understand what you have been through. Please check it out.
Sincerely ,
Trix
Formerly Ringthedoorbell
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 402
Sleepie, I know you probably won't recognize me, as I don't post much. I have been a member of SR since June 1st., but I'm more of a bench warmer, sideline kinda' gal I guess.
That being said, I do read post on SR everyday though.
I want you to know that I think you are a super intelligent person, and it shines through very brightly in your writing. You have an amazing way of conveying your feelings that makes it totally understandable to the reader. I always read any thread when I see you have post there.
Your compassion and caring are always evident in the way you support others here as well.
I don't really have an advise or experience to offer you that relate directly to your particular situation, I just wanted to tell you how I feel, and how I imagine many others here feel as well.
I know you are having a tough time right now, but I'm confident things will improve for you.
I know it's very hard, but if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will eventually complete your journey on the road to full recovery...
Best wishes and hugs..
G
That being said, I do read post on SR everyday though.
I want you to know that I think you are a super intelligent person, and it shines through very brightly in your writing. You have an amazing way of conveying your feelings that makes it totally understandable to the reader. I always read any thread when I see you have post there.
Your compassion and caring are always evident in the way you support others here as well.
I don't really have an advise or experience to offer you that relate directly to your particular situation, I just wanted to tell you how I feel, and how I imagine many others here feel as well.
I know you are having a tough time right now, but I'm confident things will improve for you.
I know it's very hard, but if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will eventually complete your journey on the road to full recovery...
Best wishes and hugs..
G
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by Ringthedoorbell
Sleepie, I know you probably won't recognize me, as I don't post much. I have been a member of SR since June 1st., but I'm more of a bench warmer, sideline kinda' gal I guess.
That being said, I do read post on SR everyday though.
I want you to know that I think you are a super intelligent person, and it shines through very brightly in your writing. You have an amazing way of conveying your feelings that makes it totally understandable to the reader. I always read any thread when I see you have post there.
Your compassion and caring are always evident in the way you support others here as well.
I don't really have an advise or experience to offer you that relate directly to your particular situation, I just wanted to tell you how I feel, and how I imagine many others here feel as well.
I know you are having a tough time right now, but I'm confident things will improve for you.
I know it's very hard, but if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will eventually complete your journey on the road to full recovery...
Best wishes and hugs..
G
That being said, I do read post on SR everyday though.
I want you to know that I think you are a super intelligent person, and it shines through very brightly in your writing. You have an amazing way of conveying your feelings that makes it totally understandable to the reader. I always read any thread when I see you have post there.
Your compassion and caring are always evident in the way you support others here as well.
I don't really have an advise or experience to offer you that relate directly to your particular situation, I just wanted to tell you how I feel, and how I imagine many others here feel as well.
I know you are having a tough time right now, but I'm confident things will improve for you.
I know it's very hard, but if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will eventually complete your journey on the road to full recovery...
Best wishes and hugs..
G
You may feel like you don't have a much f2f support but you sure have a large virtual support system here at SR.
(((sleepie)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Thank you so much ringthedoorbell that is so kind of you. That's such a nice compliment and I really appreciate it!
hi 2ndhandrose I hope you are well! I see that people view the thread and it all means something to me, no need to say anything I know I am supported here.
Thank you again for the kind words
hi 2ndhandrose I hope you are well! I see that people view the thread and it all means something to me, no need to say anything I know I am supported here.
Thank you again for the kind words
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
I did give you some tips, Sleepie. From what I've read, if symptoms become unbearable, the Ashton Method suggests stabilizing at the reduced dose longer than one or two weeks, or even increasing back to a pre-taper dose.
I just can't give you personal advice from my experience because I didn't taper, and in hindsight, despite the horrible experience I had, I'm grateful for that in a way.
One, no doctor would have prescribed a conversion from 20 milligrams of Klonopin to the equivalent 400 milligrams of Valium to begin a taper, and, two, I'm sure, as an addict, I wouldn't have successfully tapered, as I would reinstate as soon as severe discomfort set in.
Three, I had what I now know is the luxury of being able to wallow in that pain, not having to work, isolated from the world in a Southeast Asian country and surrounded by people in AA and NA who literally saved my life.
So, I see you haven't responded to my suggestion that you try an AA meeting, or a few hundred of them, like I did.
I just can't give you personal advice from my experience because I didn't taper, and in hindsight, despite the horrible experience I had, I'm grateful for that in a way.
One, no doctor would have prescribed a conversion from 20 milligrams of Klonopin to the equivalent 400 milligrams of Valium to begin a taper, and, two, I'm sure, as an addict, I wouldn't have successfully tapered, as I would reinstate as soon as severe discomfort set in.
Three, I had what I now know is the luxury of being able to wallow in that pain, not having to work, isolated from the world in a Southeast Asian country and surrounded by people in AA and NA who literally saved my life.
So, I see you haven't responded to my suggestion that you try an AA meeting, or a few hundred of them, like I did.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Well, if I were to be flippant and snarky, I would say that someone didn't offer you a drink, just drugs.
Seriously, I have been to meetings in three countries, a dozen of so cities, both AA and NA, and never, ever has anyone offered me a drug or a drink, but rather shared their stories of recovery. They also did something obscenely strange -- strangers offered me help.
Perhaps you could try another meeting.
That said, a decade before I got sober, I dipped my toe into AA and found it to be nothing more than a strange cult, with this blind devotion to some mysterious God thing, and could never relate to anyone.
Again, I haven't been to a meeting in like 10 months, and I'm not an evangelical AA member, nor even a Christian or member of any religion, but when I walked into a meeting in January 2011, after about four months sober from benzos, beer and pot, I found the help I needed.
Seriously, I have been to meetings in three countries, a dozen of so cities, both AA and NA, and never, ever has anyone offered me a drug or a drink, but rather shared their stories of recovery. They also did something obscenely strange -- strangers offered me help.
Perhaps you could try another meeting.
That said, a decade before I got sober, I dipped my toe into AA and found it to be nothing more than a strange cult, with this blind devotion to some mysterious God thing, and could never relate to anyone.
Again, I haven't been to a meeting in like 10 months, and I'm not an evangelical AA member, nor even a Christian or member of any religion, but when I walked into a meeting in January 2011, after about four months sober from benzos, beer and pot, I found the help I needed.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I've been to a bunch. Weird experiences at most. People with personality disorders just love me for some reason and I'm always left wishing I'd never left the apartment.I think you'll dismiss it but this disorder I live with makes me a target for crazies. Anyone who's off makes a beeline straight for me. I always get wrapped up with the wrong people, get used or whatever.
At one point I even had someone asking me for drugs??? I don't have any... don't know where to get them. They sob storied me into buying them their meds and clothing too... even though their boyfriend took care of them, they didn't work and I was on unemployment at the time.
At one point I even had someone asking me for drugs??? I don't have any... don't know where to get them. They sob storied me into buying them their meds and clothing too... even though their boyfriend took care of them, they didn't work and I was on unemployment at the time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Actually I guess as long as I have internet and food human interaction won't be necessary. You got me thinking... I really do get taken advantage of quite a bit. I'm quick to forget it though.
Well, being LD makes me an easy target.
I think part of having this disorder is I will just have to settle for being very solitary though I wish I didn't.
Well, being LD makes me an easy target.
I think part of having this disorder is I will just have to settle for being very solitary though I wish I didn't.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
I've read a little about nonverbal learning disorder and see where missed social cues can be a real issue and leave you vulnerable to exploitation at a meeting.
I'm not sure if you're in a metropolitan area or small town, but if it is a city of any size there is a good chance you could track some women members via phone and share you concerns and issues and be directed to a suitable meeting. Or at least be accompanied by a woman member with significant sober time and awareness of your issues who can ward off any crazies.
Also, if you reduced from 4 milligrams to 3 milligrams, that's 25 percent, and doesn't that exceed what is recommended by Ashton?
I'm not sure if you're in a metropolitan area or small town, but if it is a city of any size there is a good chance you could track some women members via phone and share you concerns and issues and be directed to a suitable meeting. Or at least be accompanied by a woman member with significant sober time and awareness of your issues who can ward off any crazies.
Also, if you reduced from 4 milligrams to 3 milligrams, that's 25 percent, and doesn't that exceed what is recommended by Ashton?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
That's kind of true... in meetings, in life... I don't have that "red flag" thing that seems natural for most.
But I read about it so I have a check list of some things to watch out for.
My boyfriend has observed I will pretty much talk to anyone and feel obligated to give them my time.
I was looking at the taper schedule online yesterday that the dr. directed me to, and I thought it said 1 mg per every 2 weeks. I have to check the bottle again too, he writes me notes and of course I misplace them...
But I read about it so I have a check list of some things to watch out for.
My boyfriend has observed I will pretty much talk to anyone and feel obligated to give them my time.
I was looking at the taper schedule online yesterday that the dr. directed me to, and I thought it said 1 mg per every 2 weeks. I have to check the bottle again too, he writes me notes and of course I misplace them...
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