Fell off the wagon
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Welcome back, you are doing great and are a great age to quit drinking!! (is there a bad age?)
Life is too good and too short to waste it by drinking it away into oblivion...
...in the newcomers there is the July thread, you can join that for extra support.
Stay safe.
Life is too good and too short to waste it by drinking it away into oblivion...
...in the newcomers there is the July thread, you can join that for extra support.
Stay safe.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 21
Thank you so much for all the kind replies, everyone 
Well, I'm on day 2 now, (It''s just after 2 pm now). Ironically, I'm not really even craving a drink yet, I usually am craving by this time.
I took a 0.25 mg xanax before I slept and I slept like a baby for 11 hours! I can't remember the last time I've slept that long. So far I haven't taken any xanax today but my hands are feeling shaky and I've vomited once, so I may have to take one in the next hour and try to eat something, too.
To clarify, I didn't take xanax when I was drinking. It was just the alcohol (I don't even like the way xanax makes me feel) I just use 0.25mg on as needed basis to get me through the first days of withdrawal.
My mood isn't great, I feel an odd kind of "inner" shakiness (if that makes sense?) and lethargic at the same time. Like my body wants to move around but another part of me feels exhausted. I managed to eat a little yesterday, so far nothing today but I'm planning to eat in a little while.
For some odd reason, I'm feeling much more confident that I can stay sober this time. I know that maybe sounds a little over confident, but it's the fact that I made the promise to my fiance, too - where as last time I withdrew in secret. I suppose I'm the type of person who can break a promise I've made to myself, but not one I've made to the love of my life..
So hoping the rest of the day goes well. Love and hugs everyone..
Strivingwoman
Well, I'm on day 2 now, (It''s just after 2 pm now). Ironically, I'm not really even craving a drink yet, I usually am craving by this time.
I took a 0.25 mg xanax before I slept and I slept like a baby for 11 hours! I can't remember the last time I've slept that long. So far I haven't taken any xanax today but my hands are feeling shaky and I've vomited once, so I may have to take one in the next hour and try to eat something, too.
To clarify, I didn't take xanax when I was drinking. It was just the alcohol (I don't even like the way xanax makes me feel) I just use 0.25mg on as needed basis to get me through the first days of withdrawal.
My mood isn't great, I feel an odd kind of "inner" shakiness (if that makes sense?) and lethargic at the same time. Like my body wants to move around but another part of me feels exhausted. I managed to eat a little yesterday, so far nothing today but I'm planning to eat in a little while.
For some odd reason, I'm feeling much more confident that I can stay sober this time. I know that maybe sounds a little over confident, but it's the fact that I made the promise to my fiance, too - where as last time I withdrew in secret. I suppose I'm the type of person who can break a promise I've made to myself, but not one I've made to the love of my life..
So hoping the rest of the day goes well. Love and hugs everyone..
Strivingwoman
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 21
And asides from the shakiness, here are a few of the symptoms I'm feeling.
1 - Mood swings, one minute I'm feeling depressed and the next I'm feeling an excited almost elated feeling (normal?)
2. Nose is running a lot
3. I'm going to the toilet A LOT (tmi)
4. Tremor (which calms down when I take 0.25mg xanax)
5. Racing thoughts
6. Nausea and vomited 3 times
7. Feeling hot and sweaty one moment and cold and sweaty, another
On the bright side, I'm feeling they are manageable now. I even went out for a brief walk last night. And my eyes are already less red!
1 - Mood swings, one minute I'm feeling depressed and the next I'm feeling an excited almost elated feeling (normal?)
2. Nose is running a lot
3. I'm going to the toilet A LOT (tmi)
4. Tremor (which calms down when I take 0.25mg xanax)
5. Racing thoughts
6. Nausea and vomited 3 times
7. Feeling hot and sweaty one moment and cold and sweaty, another
On the bright side, I'm feeling they are manageable now. I even went out for a brief walk last night. And my eyes are already less red!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
The first few days were always very rough for me too, glad you are able to manage the WD's and just know that they are only temporary. And you never, ever have to experience them again!
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Cheshire UK
Posts: 129
I'm sorry to hear.. All I can say is that I went back onto citalopram a few weeks ago because I was down.. It was a disaster (for me) made me start drinking again loads.. Only just recovering without it now but feel much better.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,916
I'm going through a tremendously stressful period in life right now, this feels like the most difficult time to quit.
In my experience, alcohol only releives stress for a few hours. Then it has the opposite effect of increasing your stress and anxiety.
Of course, you can knock that stress level back down with more booze. But then the cycle repearts itself.
In my experience, alcohol only releives stress for a few hours. Then it has the opposite effect of increasing your stress and anxiety.
Of course, you can knock that stress level back down with more booze. But then the cycle repearts itself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 21
Thanks for asking, Tumble
Well, day 3 (still sober). Yesterday I took only one 0.25 mg xanax because I still couldn't sleep at 4:30 am, so I took the xanax to get me to sleep. It worked, I managed to get 4 hours sleep, albeit with horrible nightmares.
I was in quite a bad emotional state last night, I was craving a drink a lot, so much that I cried myself tired for about 2 hours. It's 1pm here now, and I've already cried twice. The smallest things are setting me off, like I wanted hugs from my fiance but he was trying to sleep..normally, I'd be fine with that but I felt the tears coming so I went downstairs and cried.
(My wording isn't the most coherent today sorry - my mind just feels tired and my emotions raw).
On the good side, the physical symptoms have subsided a lot. My hands are still trembling, but I can eat (I'm actually VERY hungry), which is a good thing as I'm slightly underweight.
Well, day 3 (still sober). Yesterday I took only one 0.25 mg xanax because I still couldn't sleep at 4:30 am, so I took the xanax to get me to sleep. It worked, I managed to get 4 hours sleep, albeit with horrible nightmares.
I was in quite a bad emotional state last night, I was craving a drink a lot, so much that I cried myself tired for about 2 hours. It's 1pm here now, and I've already cried twice. The smallest things are setting me off, like I wanted hugs from my fiance but he was trying to sleep..normally, I'd be fine with that but I felt the tears coming so I went downstairs and cried.
(My wording isn't the most coherent today sorry - my mind just feels tired and my emotions raw).
On the good side, the physical symptoms have subsided a lot. My hands are still trembling, but I can eat (I'm actually VERY hungry), which is a good thing as I'm slightly underweight.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: SE USA
Posts: 599
Welcome back. The mood swings are perfectly normal. It takes awhile for our minds and bodies to get back on track.
You mentioned earlier something about this being a rough time in life to get sober. There is never a perfect time. I cleaned up a year ago. Thank God because I am dealing with something now that I would hate to be dealing with while drinking.
Best wishes. You can do this.
You mentioned earlier something about this being a rough time in life to get sober. There is never a perfect time. I cleaned up a year ago. Thank God because I am dealing with something now that I would hate to be dealing with while drinking.
Best wishes. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Northumberland, England
Posts: 113
Congratulations striving on getting to Day 3!
Just keep building those days and soon enough you'll be doing so well you'll lose count of them and your sobriety will be in full flow, experiencing each moment authentically and being truly alive.
Just keep building those days and soon enough you'll be doing so well you'll lose count of them and your sobriety will be in full flow, experiencing each moment authentically and being truly alive.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 21
Okay, I'm on day 5 (almost 8pm here), and I'm craving like crazy. I just feel like crying because I know I can't drink but the urge to go out and buy wine right now is SO incredibly strong. 
I just had to write it here, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Now that the physical symptoms have subsided the mental cravings seem even stronger. I've drank about 3 liters of water and smoked a 20 pack of cigarettes today to try and quell the cravings, but it's just not working.
I just had to write it here, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Now that the physical symptoms have subsided the mental cravings seem even stronger. I've drank about 3 liters of water and smoked a 20 pack of cigarettes today to try and quell the cravings, but it's just not working.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Strivingwoman 
Okay, I'm on day 5 (almost 8pm here), and I'm craving like crazy. I just feel like crying because I know I can't drink but the urge to go out and buy wine right now is SO incredibly strong.
I just had to write it here, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Now that the physical symptoms have subsided the mental cravings seem even stronger. I've drank about 3 liters of water and smoked a 20 pack of cigarettes today to try and quell the cravings, but it's just not working.
I just had to write it here, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Now that the physical symptoms have subsided the mental cravings seem even stronger. I've drank about 3 liters of water and smoked a 20 pack of cigarettes today to try and quell the cravings, but it's just not working.
Also remember that you are on day 5....which is a great accomplishment but still very early on, perhaps still in the physical withdrawal phase. These cravings and thoughts of alcohol will become less frequent and less strong as time goes by.
Have you considered seeking local help via meetings or counseling? Sometimes it can be very helpful to have a group of peers that understand what you are going through. You can seek that here of course too, but sometimes in-person is even better.
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