BirdOnWire

Three and a half years, no cravings, I was blind to it. Didn't see it or care about it. Then I see a chilled bottle and BOOM, a week of "indulgence". So...do I quit now or go to rock bottom again. I know the answer but kind words would be appreciated....

suki44883

Cunning, baffling and powerful is alcoholism. I would also add...patient.

Yes, you know the answer. Start again and don't ever get complacent. You know you can do it because you did it for 3 1/2 years. We're here to support you, so post before you drink, instead of after. Okay?

SoberLeigh

Most definitely, quit now. Return solidly to the sober path.

I am sorry that you drank; I am three and a half years sober, too; I know that I would be devastated if I drank again so I really feel for you.

Glad you found SR; welcome.

BirdOnWire

Thank you thank you, you bring tears to my eyes. I am trying not to let it be a CRISIS for fear that will really set me off. Happily I remember how absolutely amazing I felt without alcohol. But I am shocked. Yes, ever vigilant we must be.

biminiblue

Thanks for posting today. I had 18 years and in a moment it was gone.

Please don't follow in my footsteps and continue to drink like I did. It took me to a very dark place, not because of guilt, but because it was so easy and eventually it had me again. Depression, suicidal ideation, alone and frightened, unable to function, not taking care of my basic needs. You get the picture.

Hope2014

3 1/2 years is fantastic! You had a slip, but you can turn it back around. Just look forward, not back. You got this- just pour out anything you have.

zjw

on a side not bird on a wire was a neat documentary about that tight rope walker that followed his dreams and walked a tight rope between the world trade center towers before they where finished being built. Worth the watch.

Not sure if thats where your name is from tho. Anyhow quit now while your ahead!

zjw

WOW bimini thats terrifying how cunning this disease is! i know my AV is always plotting reading your post it was like DOH i cant just trick him in 20 years now DOH.

BirdOnWire

You people really know, and are so kind. Thank you for your care and support and bimini, thank you sharing that. I hope the clouds have lifted again.

sleepie

three and a half years is amazing. This was a slip in the grand picture you know how hard it is to get back to sobriety, you can do it if you can do three and a half years!

GnikNus

You didn't lose those three and a half years. Important to remember.

BirdOnWire

Thank you! It feels right now like I have lost them but I cling to your words and those were three and a half good years!

SoberLeigh

And the next 3-1/2 years will be even better!!!!!

BirdOnWire

Fly N Buy

Powerful thread and sharing - for me nothing is more telling than stories of tenured sobriety and picking up again.

I have heard from others who say they truly relapsed before they picked up and drank. Do you agree with that or is your experience different? Maybe this would be helpful to others.

Bim, was that your experience or no??

Glad you're posting - love the sentiment from our friend SoberLeigh

least

Yes, get right back up on the wagon. Don't try to see how bad your bottom can be. Start living sober again today.

BirdOnWire

Certainly something I have thought about. I originally found SR when I was googling sugar cravings which hit me with a vengeance after 6 months sober. I have read with empathy on and off. But just lately things started to bug me, people who wrote here while still drunk "bugged" me, I know now it was cause it touched a nerve. My resolve was crumbling. Yet for the first time I was experiencing NO sugar cravings, I was feeling, yup, INVINCIBLE! I know there are lots of us who can't have ONE drink and I made every deal with the devil I could to try to win that hand. So now I have learned I am not invincible. I'm good with that.

Hevyn

Hello BirdOnWire - I'm so glad you joined us.

I had 3 years once. Without giving it a second thought, I picked up again when on a date. (The man didn't know I was an A and I didn't tell him.) Next day I didn't feel too bad, so I convinced myself that I could probably use willpower to control it. Knowing in my heart it never worked before! Off I went for 7 years of hell. Be glad that you've had the good sense to stop the downhill slide. Sometimes I think we need further proof that we simply can't touch the stuff. You are going to be fine. Most likely, more determined than ever.

silentrun

It sounds like you are already pulling the lesson out of the situation. I agree with Hevyn, this could be something you build an even more solid sobriety out of.

BirdOnWire

Your understanding and willingness to support and share is so touching.