Girlie928

Hi Bird - I was sober from 1991 to 1997 - 6 years. Then I drank for 18 years. Don't do it. Getting sober again becomes more and more difficult with time. Alcoholism becomes more and more devastating with time. Stop now and consider this slip a blessing.

BirdOnWire

Yes, I believe in my heart that is true, that it becomes harder. Thank you for that.

whiteturtle

I am almost through Day 8, so I don't have much input to give to this post, but I wanted to say thank you for sharing it. I am so afraid of relapsing, and this is only my first attempt at sobriety. I don't even know how a relapse would feel, or what I am "capable" of drinking. I am just trying so hard to get through this day, and it's just so helpful to know there are people out there that know what I am going through, and are brave enough to share their experiences, however high or low, so that we can all learn.

I will try, TRY my hardest to let your lessons not be learned in vain.

BirdOnWire

Thank you turtle. I assure you, sobriety IS delightful!

biminiblue

When I quit drinking the first time in 1989, it was in response to all my relationships being unmanageable. Heck, I drank in the beginning - at age 13 - because I couldn't manage my relationships. Honestly? I didn't quit because I thought I had some big problem, I quit because I HAD TO sort out the way I let people walk all over me. I had no boundaries - didn't even know there was such a thing.

So, I didn't do a big "recovery" self-inventory. I did a save-my-ass 180 degree life change. I pulled way back from my family, and I got divorced. The drinking fell by the wayside along with a lot of other dysfunctional behaviors. Granted, I had been an alcoholic, but I didn't set out to deal with alcoholism, and I didn't put a lot of thought into quitting - I just did it so I could keep a handle on my emotions.

So, when I started drinking again, I wasn't even really thinking in terms of "oh, I'm an alcoholic." I was thinking, "Hey, look at how well everything in my life has been going since I learned to stand up for myself."

The drinking was just something that sounded fun. I didn't make a big deal over it. So, no - I didn't even know about the word "relapse." I drank moderately for a few years until - I didn't.

Now I know I can't go back. It was an entirely separate lesson I needed to learn - apart from the original quit.

thomas11

You asked for kind words, and you have mine. Hop back on the sober train and return to the joyous life sobriety provided to you. I wish you the very best.

SoberLeigh

Thanks so much for sharing this, bim. It reinforces my belief that I need to keep sobriety a priority in my life - by staying close to SR and its amazing members, mods and admins; enjoying my occasional Sober Happy Dance; relishing hangover-free mornings; and never for a moment taking for granted the re-birth of my soul.

BirdOnWire

The morning after. Toast and peanut butter cures all. I never want to see a circle of empties in my hallway again. Thank you for all your support. I take well your warnings that slips can turn into years and I am sickened by that possibility. So instead I will build on my first three and a half years of sobriety again and get back on the sober road.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to Day 1; it may not be the easiest day but it's where the magic begins!!!!

2ndhandrose

Hi BirdOnWire, I am so happy to hear you are on day 1! Welcome!

I am another one that had 6 years of sobriety and then I took my eyes off the prize. I was over confident that I had my sobriety in the bag. Not.

My plan was just to drink for a while, get it out of my system. Ha! I drank for another 22 years and now I have been sober again for 6 months.

Good for you for getting right back up again!

biminiblue

"Rebirth of my Soul." Exactly. That is what I took for granted. I had not gone to AA on my first quit - I had done a little counseling around my inability to cope in general.

Coinciding with my first quit, I went back to church, got baptized, read a lot of spiritual literature, chose my friends carefully, and made a great effort to stop doing things that hurt others. I had that spiritual awakening - that is the best description for it. I forgave myself and others and repaired the relationships that were reparable.

Then I let it slip away. I let the world start getting to me again. That is spiritual relapse. Forgetting the gift God gave me, I stopped being grateful and started being resentful.

When I went to AA a year and a half ago, I looked at those first 9 Steps and said, "Hm. That's exactly what I did." But I thought I was miraculously cured and didn't have to do anything else.

The Big Book says it so well on page 85:

What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

freshstart57

I think what we have is sobriety until we drink. A drunk doesn't happen by some mysterious magic. It happens when we drink, and never happens when we don't.

I think the issue is not drinking and losing control and becoming dependent once we have quit for a period of time. instead, I think the problems arise when we drink any amount. Sobriety needs to be a priority to the extent we never drink. Remember, drinking takes action on our part. So sobriety needs to be a priority to the extent we never perform the actions and tasks required to drink.

Sobriety will be in the bag until we decide to drink. It is no more tangible or reliable than that. How could it be otherwise?

Hevyn

Relieved to see your positive post. You are doing this BirdOnWire.

Dee74

Congrats on day one, BirdOnAWire.

D

BirdOnWire

Yeah...I briefly considered the hair of the dog argument to get through the hangover today but I know where that leads. So much thanks again to all here.

dsmaxis10

I had four years then relapsed I did not wake up planning to drink, my brother came over and was drinking and I only drank three beers that was anuf to take me out for the last two and a half years. A lot of close calls drinking and driving came two feet from getting in a accident wasted. I only have five days I struggle but I'm not gonna give up. A bottom when you stop digging they say around here.

NewDay79

Absolutely! You have done a lot of good work. A slip doesn't discount that. And due to that good work, you know what to do next. You are fortunate that you already built a life of sobriety. It will be make easier to continue on your sobriety journey.

BirdOnWire

Don't need anymore proof that alcohol is vile than the fact that I am still hungover, three days later.

Soberwolf

My sobriety date is really today i turn 2 years but my sister said because of how alcohol soaked i was it also took 3 days

My 'official' date is in 3 days as it took 3 days to get the alcohol out my system

You can do this

thomas11

Hey Bird, I feel for ya. I think insidious is word for that evil monster called alcohol.