malamute100

7 or 8 months clean from alcohol , head so messed up , terrible physical paws symptoms, I must have damaged my brain .
I now haven't slept for more than 2 hours a night for over a week .
I haven't slept at all tonight , ruined my partners holiday as we had to come home early .
She's had enough , parents don't get it , doctors don't care and lost all my work .
Give me a gun 😢

greens

I'm so sorry malamute, sleep issues are so frustrating. I've dealt with them throughout my sobriety due to my ptsd. And it really can be quite a trigger for pill cravings for me. (Not actual sleeping pills, I abused pain pills for years and for some reason I try to use sleep less nights as an excuse to need a pain pill)
Have you seen a dr or tried anything for sleep?
I've tried a couple things, some times they help sometimes they don't . It really is the most frustrating thing when I can not sleep I hope you get some sort of rest soon

Dee74

malamute - please call one of the numbers in this link and look at some of the readings in it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html


I know chronic pain and the despair it brings - but things will not always be this way.

Things can and do get better.

I really encourage you to keep trying to find a doctor or a therapist who can help.

D

ScottFromWI

Have you ever seen a therapist malamute? Sounds like you could benefit from it if you haven't. There are techniques that can really help and it sounds to me like you've been trying to cope on your own. You don't have to do this alone.

zjw

malamute I know the feeling. it took a long time for me to feel normal and coping skills? forget it i'm still working on that at 4 years sober. Not that I dont have none but I had to learn some and it took practice and wasnt an overnight thing and I still have issues.

Lack of sleep I knwo the drill night in night out no sleep. The past couple weeks thanks to a supplement I'm trying I was able to get some sleep for the first time I forgot what it was like to feel rested and such my whole attitude started to change I got calmer too then I ran out of the supplement and all hell broke loose again.

But despite all this it was worth getting sober and it gets better.

For the longest time I felt i was screwed if i drank I was screwed if i didnt drink so I just put the blinders on and moved forward without drinking for no reason other then to be able to say i was sober whatever good that did me I dunno.

But it got better now I wouldnt go back to drinking. Lifes not perfect and i have my moments but overall i'd rather live it sober then not.

I hope it eases up for you soon.

In early sobriety i took sleeping pills just to get me through but then i couldnt stand the side effects and stoped Then i got on a cycle of barely any sleep for days on end then i'd crash then i'd be back to no sleep again for days on end etc..

malamute100

What supplement do you take ? I'm the same with sleeping pills , the side effects are too much for me .
I haven't had insomnia like this in my recovery for about 3 months , same as you , night after night no sleep , feel tired and wired . Then I will crash and sleep and then the next night insomnia again.

Why does this happen , what's going on in my brain ??? Is it healing ? Is it a chemical imbalance ??
















What

ScottFromWI

It could be all of the above. I personally found that quitting drinking improved a lot of things, but that I still had underlying conditions that required separate treament ( Anxiety and OCD in my case ). For me therapy has worked without any psychoactive drugs, but i still haven't ruled out the possibility that I might need them some day.

I've asked before but you haven't answered - have you ever seen a therapist?

zjw

Yeah i can relate i'd get in bed be exhausted but unable to sleep or i might crash for like 2 hours then be up the rest of the night. I've had so many obstacles in my way with sleep. Uncomfortable beds. new born babies kids puking int he middle of the night but on the nights that stuff wasnt a factor it was all my own problems so even if one night was a good night for me i might have to deal with a sick kid or something so i'd get screwed!

I'm just now finally at a point where i've been able to limit the other factors.

Just a couple weeks ago I tried CBD oil and started sleeping better feeling calmer my anxiety has been less etc... I dont want to swear by the stuff but so far I've had good luck. I tried 2 different ones one worked better then the other PM me if you want to know specifics I dont want to sound like I"m trying to sell it or something.

Early in sobriety I tried a GABA supplement this helped till it didnt help anymore dunno why. Then I tried 5htp for depression this was hands down a god send for me but its one you have to be careful of you cant be taking it if your on some other SSRI and you might want to talk to your anyhow etc..

I tried a lot of other stuff but these items are the ones that have stood out so far.

Andante

Been there, friend, and I sympathize. People who don't suffer from severe, chronic insomnia have no idea how crippling and debilitating it can be. Among "normies," there's also sometimes a tinge of judgment, like if you can't sleep, it must be because of something you're doing wrong.

I'm not a doctor or a scientist and this is not a technical explanation, but what it felt like to me intuitively is that something about my brain chemistry or nervous system got stuck in a rebound mode when I took away the sedative (alcohol) that had it artificially depressed, and the return to a normal balance has been very slow and inconsistent.

After 2-1/4 years, I'm still not back to 100%, but things are much better than they were at any time before.

When the insomnia gets bad, I use Ambien, as prescribed by a physician. For me, any potential risks from taking the drug far outweigh the immediate consequences of trying to function on no sleep. I haven't experienced any side effects from it.

Take heart from the knowledge that if you stay sober, things should eventually get better! Patience!

Soberwolf

I agree with Scott & D as to either seeing a new Dr or therapist im currently on a 3 week waiting list for CBT dont get disheartened bud were here for you

malamute100

Thanks for your reply , ive seen 3 specialists in neurology had ct and mri scans , all fine .
I've seen Dr a dozen times and they just say it's anxirty
I've seen a counciler but that was a waste of time .
I'm currently on a waiting list to see a phycaratist.

This site and you guys have been the best help .
Thank you

Dee74

I think you're in the UK?
Have you checked out these helplines malamute?

Anxiety UK
Mental health helplines - Stress, anxiety and depression - NHS Choices

D

malamute100

Thanks

Notimetoloose

Hi, I am sorry you are going through this, I, also had severe PAWS and know that it feels relentless..
I am at 19 months sober and apart from a few days every few weeks it is all but gone......
...at times I thought I would never feel normal and consistently capable again but slowly it is going.

As exhausting as it is I would force myself to do lots of brain exercisers and motor skill exercisers...for e.g. I learned to juggle (badly) and things like counting backwards from 20,000 in multiples of 3's while walking.
Listening to music, yoga and eating whole foods helped me to get some of the madness out...haha..

Occasionally I still get bouts of insomnia and have no explanation as I will go to bed feeling I can hardly keep my eyes open and then sleep will elude me.

I have no way of knowing if all the things I did to try and combat the PAWS symptoms worked or if it was the natural progression of time that helped...I do know that being proactive made me feel better.

ScottFromWI

Sorry if I wasn't specific, I was wondering if you had seen a psychiatrist. Glad to hear that you are planning to.

silentrun

The screwed up sleep is a horrible thing to deal with. The first year is pretty brutal but it does sound like you have something extra working against you. I would get periods like you describe but they cycled and I would get breaks in between. Has the doctor offered for you to try any medication to help with the anxiety? I had two things working against me; hormones(PMS+menopause) and sleep apnea. Maybe ask to get your T level checked. If you snore ask for a sleep study. That's all I got for that. You may just be having trouble because you are used to drinking to deal with the anxiety and you find yourself without a safe outlet so it builds on you.

zjw

exercise always gives me some relief from anxiety for a period of time.

DayTrader

From about 6 months into sobriety I felt, without doubt, far worse than I recalled ever feeling when I was drinking. My symptoms resembled what I've read on this site as being PAWS. Docs labeled it as depression and several other lovely things. Looking back at it with that wonderful clarity of hindsight, it was plain and simple - it was alcoholism.

No, it wasn't the type of pain and so on that comes with active drinking. It was instead the pain of how my life "not drinking" felt. My head was a mess... way worse than I recognized at the time and even then I knew something pretty bad was goin' on.

I had a therapist (she was in recovery herself - an important quality in a decent substance abuse therapist IMO), saw doctors but also started taking action consistent with someone IN recovery. Up till then I mostly showed up but never got into the game. I'd go to meetings an listen. I'd feel better for a time but it never seemed to last. I fell victim to the mistaken belief that I think most ppl do - that if I'm an alcoholic then my problem is booze and if I stop the booze I'll be alright.

I certainly wouldn't recommend what I did......which was resist everything I didn't feel like doing and only did what made sense to me. If I didn't understand it and agree with it... out the window. It should have been obvious that me directing my own life as I saw fit was the source of my malcontent but I missed that reality completely at the time. Looking back..... I dragged that miserable / suicidal / hate-my-life / anxious / feeling lost style of living for another couple years. Slowly though, I started taking the actions that were suggested to me by folks who had been where I was and had gotten out of the pit. I didn't like 99.9% of it and didn't think any of it would really work......other than maybe get me some sympathy when they saw I was trying but still miserable. Whoa, did I have it all wrong.

See a doc.....see a therapist.......but get INVOLVED in recovery - learn what it is to live a recovered lifestyle and start incorporating it into your life. Consider the possibility that, if you're an alcoholic - not drinking isn't the solution. It's a mandatory start but but that's it. It's like hiking the ball in a football game. The snap is necessary to get things rolling but it's not, in and of itself, the play that puts points on the board. We have to run the whole play. Me.... i thought sitting in the stands watching would be enough when I was new. Eventually though, it became quite apparent that I'd need to not only get into the game but I'd have to be an active participant or I'd just keep on losing....till, one of these days, I WOULD muster up the courage to take myself out.

ChiefBromden

I recognize this. I had a rough time especially 6 to 9 months in. It seemed like I got worse instead of better. In hindsight, I know it was healing, it was my brain trying to get back to "normal" after years of abuse.

I know we are all different, and counselling can help (it did for me), but do try to consider the possibility that you are healing too, and that it will get better with time. (It did for me)