Can't sleep
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Gatineau, Quebec
Posts: 23
Can't sleep
With all these awful regrets, I have such a hard time sleeping. Didn't go to work today and my boss absolutely needs me there tomorrow morning... Don't even know how I'll get there without a car 
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
It is hard, especially at first. You need to remember though that the cure is staying sober and moving forward. I'm sure you can take a cab or get a ride to work, staying home and hiding will only cause more problems
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
It took quite a while before my sleep patterns looked anything close to what I believed were most people's sleep patterns. With that said, I began to ask myself, "Why do I think I need to sleep the same as others?" Yet another symptom of my alcoholism - the feeling that I need to be the same as I think everyone else is, to be ok. I found not trying to force my sleep patterns to look like what I thought other's looked like saved me a lot of grief.
I look at sobriety as a two-pronged deal. Prong one is no drinking - obviously. Prong two is learning/practicing how to live life as a sober person. As tough as the first one was, it was the second that really puts us to the test.
GETTING sober is a necessary start but it doesn't mean much if I don't STAY sober. I could quit, for a time, lot's of times but what I hadn't learned was how to navigate life and stay sober - certainly not sober AND happy. It's this piece that sets so many of us up for relapse. Once we find out that "not drinking" doesn't feel much better than we remember drinking felt, we obviously go back to what we've done and relied upon for so long.
Learning how to be happy, at ease, and content WHILE not drinking was a task I had no experience with. I wasn't all that sure it was possible but I did know a lot of folks who claimed that's what they were experiencing. As much as I didn't want to (ego, like to do things on my own, afraid to ask for help, didn't think I'd need any help, etc), it made logical sense for me to see what "those folks" were doing, ask questions and ask for help to do what seemed to be working for them.
Many of the practices that I picked up at first (the ones that seemed to make sense and didn't appear to be too hard) helped a little but there was still a whole lot missing and I knew it. Eventually I started to do the things I didn't want to do and didn't think would work because I was running out of options and I knew what would come, sooner or later, if I didn't get my act together. As one of my mentors said over and over to us, "If you want to stay sober AND HAPPY.....for the rest of your life...... You're going to have to do a lot of things you don't want to do." That made sense to me.....but I didn't like what it implied. I can say now, with more than several years behind me, the majority of my happiness, serenity, and contentedness now stems more from actions I don't like/don't think with work/don't feel like doing.
I look at sobriety as a two-pronged deal. Prong one is no drinking - obviously. Prong two is learning/practicing how to live life as a sober person. As tough as the first one was, it was the second that really puts us to the test.
GETTING sober is a necessary start but it doesn't mean much if I don't STAY sober. I could quit, for a time, lot's of times but what I hadn't learned was how to navigate life and stay sober - certainly not sober AND happy. It's this piece that sets so many of us up for relapse. Once we find out that "not drinking" doesn't feel much better than we remember drinking felt, we obviously go back to what we've done and relied upon for so long.
Learning how to be happy, at ease, and content WHILE not drinking was a task I had no experience with. I wasn't all that sure it was possible but I did know a lot of folks who claimed that's what they were experiencing. As much as I didn't want to (ego, like to do things on my own, afraid to ask for help, didn't think I'd need any help, etc), it made logical sense for me to see what "those folks" were doing, ask questions and ask for help to do what seemed to be working for them.
Many of the practices that I picked up at first (the ones that seemed to make sense and didn't appear to be too hard) helped a little but there was still a whole lot missing and I knew it. Eventually I started to do the things I didn't want to do and didn't think would work because I was running out of options and I knew what would come, sooner or later, if I didn't get my act together. As one of my mentors said over and over to us, "If you want to stay sober AND HAPPY.....for the rest of your life...... You're going to have to do a lot of things you don't want to do." That made sense to me.....but I didn't like what it implied. I can say now, with more than several years behind me, the majority of my happiness, serenity, and contentedness now stems more from actions I don't like/don't think with work/don't feel like doing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Anthem 
With all these awful regrets, I have such a hard time sleeping. Didn't go to work today and my boss absolutely needs me there tomorrow morning... Don't even know how I'll get there without a car
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 290
Hi Anthem,
Sleep was a big problem for me as well. Things will start to settle down, this is a huge change in your life and its not surprising that it can feel a bit overwhelming for a time. You'll get there
Daytrader, thanks so much for your post about trying things you didn't want to do. Very relevant to me at the moment!
Sleep was a big problem for me as well. Things will start to settle down, this is a huge change in your life and its not surprising that it can feel a bit overwhelming for a time. You'll get there
Daytrader, thanks so much for your post about trying things you didn't want to do. Very relevant to me at the moment!
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