My alcoholism is an illness of mind, body, and spirit. I don't give it a personality. I drank for the effect. I take responsibility for my past drunkenness as a chronic alcoholic, and for my sobriety. Sure, I did things drunk I wouldn't do sober. Doesn't mean I do better to blame my alcoholism for my past drinking. Alcoholic or not, I'm still the guy who picked up those drinks. And I'm the guy who now doesn't pick up.

"Personally I don't "coddle" the alcoholic in me. I lord over him like a vicious tyrant." Yeah, I understand your statement. For me, it's a waste of myself to either coddle or lord over my alcoholism. Either way, both extremes would have me feeling weird and confused. Being sober has freed me from my alcoholism. I don't "talk" with my alcoholism. It isn't something clever or whatever trying to seduce me back to drinking. When I was actively drinking, sure I talked with myself as a lost drunk and blaming the alcohol itself for my troubles. All that fighting was just me pretending I cared about staying quit. All I was really doing was setting traps for myself so as to make it really difficult to stay quit since I was "fighting" with my alcoholism. Yeah. It was all bullcrap. I had myself convinced alcohol was my big trouble, when in fact I was my own trouble.

Now I'm still an alcoholic. The big deal now is I'm a recovered alcoholic. And I don't pretend to be fighting with my alcoholism. There is no fight to fight. There never was. I was just playing myself stupid so as I could justify my staying drinking and hating myself for it. I lost every fight I had with myself about my drinking.

Let me ask you if you see a day when your alcoholism won't need to be lorded over anymore

...I try not expose myself to triggering situations but I refuse to mold my life around that. I've failed at abstaining many, many times. Each time I look back and was harder and harder on myself. I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person but yes, alcohol is a very tough nut to crack. I by no means am so self assured and arrogant to proclaim I definitely will never drink again. There are things that will inevitably come that could happen that will affect me more than my desire to stay sober. Death/loss of a loved one, tragedy of some magnitude etc. I can't with confidence say I'll overcome that hurdle. All I can hope when such a time arises is that I can rationalize via past experience that alcohol has never made anything better for me....only much worse.

...I live in hope. I do see that such thoughts as I experienced today are less and less. What were months ago long sided debates which I often lost are now very sure and steadfast. I'm stubborn and intolerant of the alcoholic in me. I've personified him because he is me.....me with a few drinks. And I have no time for that piece of low life.

Karpman used triangles to model conflicted or drama intense relationship transactions. He defined three roles in the relationship; Persecutor, Rescuer (the one up positions) and Victim (one down position). Karpman placed these three roles on an inverted triangle and referred to them as being the three aspects, or faces of drama. Karpman, who had interests in acting and was a member of the*screen actors guild, choose the term "drama triangle" rather the term "conflict triangle" as the Victim in his model is not intended to represent an actual victim, but rather someone feeling or acting like a victim.[2]

The Persecutor:*The Persecutor insists,"It's all your fault."*The Persecutor is controlling, blaming, critical, oppressive, angry, authoritative, rigid, and superior.The Victim:*The Victim is of course persecuted. The Victim's stance is*"Poor me!"The Victim feels victimized, oppressed, helpless, hopeless, powerless, ashamed, and seems unable to make decisions, solve problems, take pleasure in life, or achieve insight. The Victim, if not being persecuted, will seek out a Persecutor and also a Rescuer who will "save" the day but also perpetuate the Victim's negative feelings.The Rescuer:*The rescuer's line is "Let me help you." A classic enabler, the Rescuer feels guilty if he/she doesn't go to the rescue. Yet his/her rescuing has negative effects: It keeps the Victim dependent and gives the Victim permission to fail. The rewards derived from this rescue role are that the focus is taken off of the rescuer. When he/she focuses their energy on someone else, it enables them to ignore their own anxiety and issues. This rescue role is also very pivotal, because their actual primary interest is really an avoidance of their own problems disguised as concern for the victim’s needs.[citation needed]

Initially, a drama triangle arises when a person takes on the role of a victim or persecutor. This person then feels the need to enlist other players in to the conflict. These enlisted players take on roles of their own that are not static and therefore various scenarios can occur. For example, the victim might turn on the rescuer, the rescuer then switches to persecuting — or as often happens, a rescuer is encouraged to enter the situation.[8]

The motivations for each participant and the reason the situation endures is that each gets their unspoken (and frequently unconscious) psychological wishes/needs met in a manner they feel justified, without having to acknowledge the broader*dysfunction*or harm done in the situation as a whole. As such, each participant is acting upon their own*selfish*needs, rather than acting in a genuinely responsible or*Altruisticmanner.[citation needed]*Thus a character might"ordinarily come on like a plaintive victim; it is now clear that she can switch into the role of Persecutor providing it is 'accidental' and she apologizes for it".[8]

The motivations of the rescuer is the least obvious. In the terms of the drama triangle, the rescuer is someone who has a mixed or covert motive and is actually benefitingegoically*in some way from being "the one who rescues". The rescuer has a surface motive of resolving the problem, and appears to make great efforts to solve it, but also has a hidden motive to not succeed, or to succeed in a way that they benefit. For example, they may get a self-esteem boost or receive respected rescue status, or derive enjoyment by having someone depend on them and trust them - and act in a way that ostensibly seems to be trying to help, but at a deeper level plays upon the victim in order to continue getting a payoff.[citation needed].

In some cases, the relationship between the victim and the rescuer can be one ofcodependency.[9]*The rescuer keeps the victim dependent on them by encouraging their victimhood. The victim gets their needs met by having the rescuer take care of them.

In general, participants tend to have a primary or habitual role (victim, rescuer, persecutor) when they enter into drama triangles. Participants first learn their habitual role in our family of origin. Even though participants each have a role with which they most identify, once on the triangle, participants rotate through all the positions, going completely around the triangle.[10]

Each triangle has a*payoff*for those playing it. The*antithesis*of a drama triangle lies in discovering how to deprive the actors of their payoff.[2]

I don't know but I do think we all have a different degree of stamina to keep bouncing back from accumulated failure, pain, suffering, loss and all the other bad stuff. I don't think we can really judge anyone else when we're not living life with their collection of memories.