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I am sick of being alone

Old 06-28-2015, 12:52 PM
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I am sick of being alone

Completely alone right now. Got ******* no one to talk to. I feel stuck in a void and I've been wandering around the town centre for hours and ended up in a cocktail bar because I'm desperate for someone to just acknowledge my existence. I don't know what the hell is the point in anything. Tried to talk about something that has been ******* with my head for my whole life and got nothing. I don't want to be on my own. It's like I don't exist so why am I trying to?
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Old 06-28-2015, 01:04 PM
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Im right here if you want to talk?
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Old 06-28-2015, 01:14 PM
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I'm sorry you're hurting, Lycanlaz.

You are important.

One of the harder parts about getting better is growing to feel more comfortable with our own company. Take it in small bites. Are there things you enjoy doing solo? Reading? Perhaps taking in a movie.

I understand that you feel lonely. Many of us struggle with that, too. How about taking in an AA meeting?
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Old 06-28-2015, 01:21 PM
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Venecia is right. I went through all that too when I was younger. I mean I felt a bit like that when I started drinking in bars alone, it wasn't the main thing but surrounded by other people and still never feeling as lonely.

The good news is I am the complete opposite now. I am totes comfortable with myself, in fact I can't imagine it any other way and its other people all up in my headspace that might drive me to drink. So you can be too.
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Old 06-28-2015, 01:37 PM
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I used to hate being around people, and I have social anxiety problems so it's like being trapped between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to get in my house. When I'm sober and around people I'm a wreck but I want to be immersed in people, I want to feel connected...with anybody, ****, I feel heartbroken like, I don't even know...like I'm devastated by the disconnection. I want to get slaughtered, I wanna ******* drown. I'm scared I'm going to do something stupid tonight.
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Old 06-28-2015, 02:10 PM
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You're in the UK, correct, Lycan?

How about giving the Samaritans a call. I checked their website and it looks like there are good people there. You have nothing to lose by just giving it a try, right?

Samaritans | Samaritans

08457 90 90 90

Your life matters. Give them a call. A kind person will talk with you.
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Old 06-28-2015, 02:14 PM
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I feel ya; I'm introverted so I'm usually OK with being alone. Mostly would drink to either: loosen up and talk to more people OR drown my sorrows. Now I'm on House Arrest, which isn't that bad, but man being all alone with no one to talk to makes my brain go crazy... or at least crazier than my baseline levels haha.
So many people have disappointed me that I'm on the verge of saying screw em all. But even an introvert needs social interaction...

Are you feeling ok?
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Old 06-28-2015, 02:21 PM
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I know exactly how you feel. Im an introverted loner also. Drinking isn't going to help though. It'll only make it worse. In time it will get better. Just make it through today. Keep reading and posting here.
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Old 06-28-2015, 02:28 PM
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lycan,
I understand what you're going through. I also have to deal with the social anxiety so the rock and hard place makes sense to me. I like my own company, but everybody needs some level of companionsionship from time to time. I live alone and lucky for me, I feel ok with that. But I do two things that helps. I find things to do on my own. Go to a movie, a ballgame, a festival, etc. I mean what's the point of being sober if you just sit home staring at your tv? Second, I go to AA meetings two or three times a week. I don't talk to people there much other than a hi, but being around people helps a lot. I also go to the gym, usually 5 times a week. Again being around people, occasionally making small talk with someone. Gotta build a life lycan. It's really hard but very important. Of course, I also check in here on SR daily. Make a life plan. Start small and build on it. Hope this helps. John
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Old 06-28-2015, 02:35 PM
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Hey buddy. Don't be alone. We're here for you.
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Old 06-28-2015, 02:43 PM
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Guys I really appreciate your responses like I can't even begin to express how important just a tiny bit of human interaction is to me right now. I'm on the edge of some really ridiculous Bullsh/t.... In another bar, on the way here there were a few crackheads in town asking for change and I had ten pence (kinda like ten cents I guess), had a bit of banter as I was walking off. Downed a Bloody Mary in this next bar then marched out with the change asking them if they could get coke. Guy said he could get crack and I was like nah and gave him my change and told him to have a good night. Got a ******* hug off the guy and I'm back in the bar seriously considering going back down there and paying for their crack just to get ****** up Jesus Christ what's wrong with me its like I want to destroy myself just to be around people no matter how screwed up they are or how much it's gonna ******* ruin me, I'm scaring the hell out of myself right now
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Old 06-28-2015, 02:47 PM
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Go home. Now. Hunker down with us.
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Old 06-28-2015, 03:05 PM
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I agree with trachemys. Please keep yourself safe. We care about you lycanlaz.
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Old 06-28-2015, 03:34 PM
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Were here for you 110% you go into the chatroom for instant msgs private aswell

Your not alone i know what that feels like were here for you Laz you can msg me 24/7 anytime bud
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Old 06-28-2015, 04:13 PM
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Lyc you do so much better off the booze.
Take care of yourself man - you're worth it

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Old 06-28-2015, 04:30 PM
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Mate - you will not meet life long friends in bars or pubs I am sad to say.
You certainly will not meet mates smoking drugs.

It probably does not feel like it at the moment, but there is a whole world out there that does not revolve around alcohol and drugs.

I have a friend who is my age (41) and he turned his daughters life support machine off about a year ago.
She was 5 years old.
She had profound disabilities and was in a wheel chair. She contacted an infection most kids and adults could fight.
However because of her condition she couldn't fight it, was left with injuries and brain damage not were not compatible with life.
One thing she loved was to visit a local donkey sanctuary to ride the animals and help look after them.

He was lost.
He hurt.
He is now a chief fundraiser and advisor to the charity.
He helps organise fund raising activities.
He has cleaned out the donkeys.
He has done charity bag packing at supermarkets.
He has done fun runs.
He has raised the profile of the charity so it is more visible to the public and the amazing work it does.

He has also channelled his grief and worked through his anger. Made new friends. Supported others. Kept himself busy when he could of gone of the rails.

You could do this with a project you are interested in.

It has made me feel more humble and very grateful for the life I have in times when I think I have it bad and would like to drink myself silly.

Thats why I don't think pubs, clubs and bars are probably the right environment for you now, especially not to meet people and socially interact.

There are other ways.
There are better ways.

I wish you the best xx
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Old 06-28-2015, 04:41 PM
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lycan don't feel too bad, I got molested by my female therapist and I'm a 29 year old guy, so, alcohol ain't gonna help ya I guarantee you, believe me I know, I've been here for a while.
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Old 06-28-2015, 05:53 PM
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have to try and find a way to "enjoy yourself" i mean just yourself by yourself. I'm alone as in no local friends and such. I have a wife and kids at least. but I get lonely from time to time having no local friends to just go hangout iwht or osmething. On one hand it can be good i'm an introvert anyway and I tend to get annoyed and tired of putting up with other people i deal with its hard for me to make friends because I prefer good friends and dont like to waste time with just random aquantances hanging out just for the sake of hanging out. I prefer quality social time etc..

So that being said I've hadn to learn how to just be ok being alone. Theres a lot of cool aspects of being alone. but yeah I get it now and then it can stink.

getting drunk or high or something however isnt really gonna solve the problem.
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Old 06-28-2015, 06:31 PM
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I think the replies in this thread show you that you are NOT alone!

I know it feels a bit desperate when you don't actually have a human being to talk to, but this is a virtual age. So, as long as you have as many virtual friends as you do ( and you DO!) then be happy that you can connect on this level with so many people who care about you.

Best wishes!
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Old 06-29-2015, 03:19 PM
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Life is hard. Sometimes when we don't have any intimate connections, we share things that are too intimate with people we've just met, and it turns them off.

You have to be careful, and try to think what other people are interested in and want to talk about, and maybe go for happier topics. You might have a heap of burdens you want to get off your chest, but sometimes just having a normal conversation with people helps.

Hobbiest clubs, meetups, and festival activities are places you can go to meet new people who also want to meet new people. If you can be friendly and positive, you can get a lot out of them. If you want to talk about the darkness in your heart, you really need to go to a support group or therapist that is meant for that, but you can't bring that on people who are trying to have fun.
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