MrTumble

Hi guys, back from a longish period of kidding myself that im a moderate drinker. Someone close to me told me im drinking too much and they are worried about me, so that's probably as good a sign as I should need.

Its 8am, I feel hungover and a bit miserable, hoping not to feel like this again.

Soberintexas007

How you are feeling right now is exactly why I made the choice not to drink tonight. I just cannot function the next day and be the person that other people want me to be, nor who I want to be. Sober up and take it day by day. You can do this!!!

MrTumble

Thanks. Its rotten to feel rotten but i guess we dont change without some stimulus... i hate all this self loathing and feeling like a failure. Its bloody horrible.

I wont drink today, thats for sure.

Soberintexas007

Yes, it is horrible, it is a living nightmare. Don't drink today and you will feel a lot better tomorrow. And you have to remember this feeling in the future to try and deter you from using alcohol again. Before I drink, I think about the consequences of that choice, and, for me, the consequences far outweigh the benefits of an episode of drinking.

For example, my husband asked me if I wanted to drink with him tonight. If there were no consequences to that drinking, then I would gladly join him. But I know that if I drink tonight, I will not be able to function and go out with him tomorrow on his day off (and then he will be upset at me for not hanging out with him), and so it obviously it not worth it to me. But I have to make that choice for myself.

Dee74

Welcome back Mr T

D

NotYouAgain

Hello Mr Tumble.

In my early recovery, I would not get out of bed until I really truly meant by my daily promise to myself, "No matter what happens today, NO MATTER WHAT, I will not pick up a drink today!"

Many times I had to repeat this over and over until it came from MY HEART and not just from my head.

It worked for me. Maybe it will work for you too.

hothow

i know how you feel im in the same situation today myself!ill and angry with myself.no beer today!another day one.

rshankv

I had the same thought that i had things under control and until recently i realized that i was drink 6-7 drinks everyday and unable to function normally the next day.. i quit three days back and i am feeling good , when i want to dink, i just think how my day would be tomorrow and that stops me.. lets do this together

MrTumble

well that's day 1 completed.

feeling more positive.

MrTumble

problem is, after 4 days i feel so much better, just in time for a weekend beer or two

NotYouAgain

Don't jump ahead.
One day at a time.
Every morning, make that self promise 'NO MATTER WHAT, I will not have a drink today!

Keep up the good work.

Don't forget to get outside help, face-to-face, with other sober people.

Oh, and pray!

MrTumble

Im afraid praying isnt my thing, but thank you for the other advice, you are dead right, I need to not jump ahead.. one day at a time for now.

Dee74

I found I finally learned the lesson after about a thousand times - the end result us always the same - back to square one.

It's not the last drink that decimates me, it's actually the first one.

Once you can appreciate the truth in those statements I think you stop believing that 'this time will be different'?

D

JaneLane

I can really relate to the moderate drinking thing. I've been trying for a long time and it's useless. I got tired of the battle, of constant fighting with myself and the booze, and trying to be a "normal" drinker is kind of an indicator that something is not right in the first place!
So I'm back in AA and I really recommend getting a recovery plan in place if those cravings hit :-)

MrTumble

What got me confused was the amount I was drinking. It was way less than I would of consumed daily when I realised I had a problem. I was drinking mostly just a 6 pack of beers a night recently, then maybe a few beers in a bar after. So I thought, "this is a lot less than I used to drink, so maybe im ok, ive outgrown heavy drinking"... But the reality is, those 6 are now enough to make me feel like crap, be grumpy, make me lazy, fat, etc..

And of course, when I wanted more than 6, I would always just have them...

ScottFromWI

It's quite amazing what we can rationalize. "just a 6 pack and then maybe a few more beers in a bar after" would be considered a pretty major binge for most people.

I also reached a point where my tolerance started decreasing too...which is a very bad sign.

MrTumble

the other thing that's making me think that culturally drinking is a waste of time for me is that when I go out drinking, im always alone, I sit at a bar and either try and chat up the bar maid, or am on my smart phone on twitter or facebook... In all reality, I could do the exact same thing drinking soft drinks, there's no additional benefit of getting drunk and doing that.

And at home I just do the same, sit on the computer drinking.. No benefit really to be drunk in doing that, it doesnt add anything to the experience.

Its all a bit sad I know, but that's what I do.

MrTumble

Do you ever go out now to pubs?

JaneLane

I'm newly sober and haven't yet. My sponsor recommends examining my reasons for going there. So if it's a work or family event, then yeah, I'm likely to go. But if I'm hanging out with a friend and can see them elsewhere, then it's risky for me.

MrTumble

back to day 1

it can only get better from here