sleepie

Today I made an appointment with a doctor for benzo taper. I really hope it works out, I am so scared. I am terrified actually as I have become deathly afraid of doctors. I have had some bad experiences and I had to fill out pages and pages of detailed questions about my mental health etc, and I did not hide that I am an alcoholic for years. I am so scared it will knock me right out of the running for treatment. I want off this s*** so bad.


Anyway many of you brought up the medically supervised thing so here goes... I am so terrified. Just terrified.

amandamarie

I have been honest with doctors for heroin addiction being in my past, and them still gave me opiates for pain, so don't think that is automatically will disqualify you for the treatment. I do not see why it would matter being alcohol and benzo's are so different, and you are trying to get off of them.

sleepie

Alcohol and benzos are very much the same- they affect your brain in the same way and many refer to benzos as "alcohol in pill form". I was prescribed them for anxiety years ago and they were the best and worst thing that happened to me. I am hoping that he will see I want to stop taking these things forever and proceed to taper me.

zjw

sometimes we just gotta move in any direction just to get some momentum. I hope it works if not I hope it leads you to what does.

I've always felt even a sideways step in life can be just what one needs to gain some traction.

amandamarie

Idk everyone is different, but they affected me in a way different way than alcohol. If you just explain though they still may help you. If not just try to have faith in the doctors decision.

ScottFromWI

Glad you took the initiative sleepie. Why be terrified of getting better? Sure it might be uncomfortable at first, but can it really be any worse than the hell you've been through recently? Detox is temporary and it will get better.

Sudz No More

If you think it will help you give it a try. I would just caution against trading one crutch for another. If it gives you some strength to get off the alcohol that is great but then you will still have to get off the benzos. The bottom line is your body needs to be drug free for a period of time before you are going to have any kind of sober strength to carry into the long haul. Keep in mind the biggest battle most of us have is the mental impulses which will be present for quite a while after the physical is long gone. First and foremost though, you need to get free from the physical part of the addiction including any kind of replacement you choose over alcohol. Give it a shot, maybe it will help you.

Mikie9

I had to learn to not seek a buzz before I could ever stop drinking. I tried replacing it with many things, but they all involved replacing one buzz for another. Good on you for seeking help, shows you are at least sick of this lifestyle while buzzed.

Until you realize that your habits and tendency to give in to temptation prevents you from creating a new life, you are stuck in the cycle.

I don't post that to be mean sleepie, but there is no magic pill. Mental change is needed, not a comfortable way to change.

Dee74

I think you've made a wise move Sleepie

D

sleepie

Guys I don't think you understand- I am currently on benzos and need and want to get off of them. I am not looking for a magic pill- I am looking for NO pill, and quitting benzos cold turkey can be deadly so that is why I am seeking a doctor to supervise that process. And I am certainly not looking for a buzz. I am looking for the exact opposite- to quit the benzos. Also, I do not get a buzz from them- I don't tale amounts high enough for that. At this point it is just like when they were prescribed to me.

I am fully aware that in order to promote the healing of my brain I need to be off all alcohol and drugs which again, is why I am seeking help to quit the benzos.

ScottfromWI- I am not afraid of getting better. I am afraid of having yet another bad experience with an insensitive doctor or one who wants only to make money and does not have true interest in my goal. Also I am afraid that he will not decide to help me and think I am just looking for more drugs.

Mikie9

I stand corrected sleepie. I misread your post as wanting to use benzos to stop drinking and I apologize.

I truly hope you find a Dr who will help you and not just prescribe more drugs. I finally found one myself and it makes a world of difference.

sleepie

Thanks Mikie that's my other fear- that he may want me on them to keep me paying. I want him to know I would like to be done with it all in three months tops.

buk1000

Tell him exactly that sleepie. And try a different doctor if he suggests continuing long term benzo use.

sleepie

thanks people I really hope I am doing the right thing.

Mikie9

Stay strong sleepie. No one tells me what to do, and I think the same holds true for you. If this Dr isn't leading you in the direction you need to go, abort quickly. There are plenty of Drs out there wanting your business. Some of them are actual Drs

Sudz No More

I'm glad you are actually starting the process of getting off them, the sooner the better. Good luck with it but don't worry, just follow what your doctor tells you.

Della1968

Good luck sleepie! Any forward movement is the right thing.

dwtbd

Sleepie
Good luck , stick to your plan, meet with the doctor and explain what you expect and the listen to their advice and see if they can help with your plan, it sounds like a good one.
It's one thing for me to say that , quite another for me to have the stuff to see it through, I'd like to think I could/would, but I sure get the sense from you that you do and will .

sleepie

Thanks guys I wish it was back when I could just stop and be done but now it's a long drawn out drama, how ugly, how ridiculous. These drugs were the best and worst thing that ever happened to me.