Jeni26

I'm just realising that my devotion and dedication to my career is verging on the obsessive.

Can anyone relate?

I'm not sure whether to be concerned but I do put in lots of extra hours thinking of solutions to problems and keep a notebook by my bed to write ideas down in the middle of the night. I find it hard to switch off and relax. I just don't know another way to be really.

Venecia

Hi, Jeni --

I used to be more of a workaholic than I am now.

My boss is high-maintenance (euphemism). If I let her, she could be a bad trigger for me. Though from time to time work requires my attention after hours, I've worked hard to leave it behind me in the office. My sobriety -- and my overall peace of mind -- are too precious.

Aellyce

Hi Jeni.

I have definitely been very driven professionally from a young age, and one of the most difficult parts of alcoholism for me was that it killed my motivation. It came back gradually in sobriety but, like Venecia, I'm also not the workaholic I used to be when younger. I think it's an age thing, too...

The good thing about it is that if your "workaholism" is driven by genuine interest and enthusiasm, what's wrong with that? To be honest, for the most part, I don't even really consider my work, "work"... I love mine and it encompasses a few of my most natural interests and "hobbies". And I'm paid to do these things. How better can it get really?

The problem is probably if it's more a compulsion, a substitute action, and you don't find true meaning and fulfillment in it. And of course if it's excessive in a way that it harms your health and blocks other areas of life. I had these problems in the past, but I feel no longer. I do spend less hours with work, although often I spend my off days still reading related stuff.

So, again: does your work impact other areas of your life negatively? Then I would do something about it. If not, just enjoy it and take the benefits

courage2

I work more now, but I've always been into work -- it was my recourse from real life and non-work relationships, before I started drinking all day long. Then I stopped finding meaning in work, and drinking took entirely over.

Not a cause-and-effect thing, more mutually reinforcing.

Now I still work a lot, but I try pretty hard to find meaning and value in what I do. I don't work less, just differently. And I try to invest energy and attention in things outside work, and search for things outside work that I value equally.

It's been a long "job" trying to get more balanced.

ChiefBromden

I used to be obsessive about my work. Could not switch off, my sense of self worth was totally entangled with how good (or bad) my work was. Drinking started as a way to force myself to "calm down and relax". I was very good at what I did, which only made the problem worse, as I kept expecting perfection of myself.

It's one of the things I had to change when I got sober. It's about finding a balance (for me), about avoiding extremes. Yes, My income now is about one tenth of what I was earning before. But I'm also happier, calmer, healthier.

And sober.

Dee74

no, Never


lol

Seriously though - I've nearly burnt myself out more than once since I've been sober.

I finally worked out how important balance is.

Work wise I've figured out I'm not indispensable and that I need to focus on my job and let others do theirs.

I delegate now where applicable.

I wasn't a control freak or an egoist - I just worried about everything (who will do this if I don't etc).

I found everything gets done, even without my input

It's done me a power of good to let go of the reins a little Jeni

D

zjw

i was always a hard worker and would be up at night worried about etc.. but the last coupe years of my drinking I had a hard time holding it together. Once i sobered up not much changed in that regard. I lost my motivation and simply do not care anymore.

I still bust my butt doing lots of other things just not my job anymore. I do what i gotta do to get by. I'm the guy in a meeting acting like i care. I play along be inside i'm wondering if it could get any more stupid. And i often wonder is anyone else in this meeting taking this nonsense seriously? I'm not the type that is like "oh good call bob" no not at all.

Dee mentioned balance. I never had none at work was all or nothing. all or nothing with everything. I have a feeling this year i'm going to try and work on balance with other things in my life carefully doing things so that i'm not being obsessive.

If your job is worth it too you tho I dont see any issue with what your doing. But if its causing you some kinda grief maybe your taking it entirely too seriously. I dont take it seriously myself anymore it might be my undoing but I have more important things to concern myself with these days.

GroundhogDay

Umm...no

uncle holmes

I can relate to being a workaholic also. I put in extra hours and work late all the time, mainly cause my job kind of requires me too in order to finish my work.

I have a healthy fear about losing my job so I try my best not to give the company any reason to fire me or to tell me I don't do a good job.

But I also make sure I go to 2 meetings a week, take some time to pray during the day, and also keep my recovery as a #1 priority.

Does the extra work and stress take a toll on my recovery? Yes it can at times. But that just forces me even more to get closer to God and work the steps.

Jeni26

Thanks all. I am just super aware of getting and maintaining a balance here. I love my job, I consider it a privilege to do it, but I'm also obsessive about it, putting it higher up the priority list than I should.

Last week was super stressy there, and on the way home I had my first thoughts of a drink since I got sober again (about 6 weeks now). It passed, no damage done, but yesterday I realised how exhausted I was. I slept on and off for most of it and managed to do some praying and meditating.

When I was in my 'dark phase' as I call it, I couldn't meditate at all, I felt no spiritual connection, and it was this that led to a drink for me. I need to nurture my spirituality and realise work isn't everything, it is a tiny part of life and I need to remember that.

GroundhogDay

Jeni, my previous post was meant to be funny. But seriously, you do need to maintain balance and your connection to your spiritual self. My career was intense in years past, but luckily now it isn't. I took a much-needed break from work and found that balance, so my life is happier now. I still work hard AT work, but I let it go at the end of the day. If I think of something work-related at home, I write it down and put it in my purse to deal with later at work. Writing ideas down liberates my mind from obsessing about work stuff.

paulokes

The thing I realise is that I can go looking for 'answers' in work...put too much of myself in it.

Years gone by, if you asked me how I was, I would tall about work. If you asked me to tell you about myself, I would tell you about work...what I did. It defined me.

Even today I can get lost in work when I'm off balance...use it as an excuse not to engage in the rest of the rich tapestry of life. One more hiding place I can easily revert to with 'good justification'

I've just taken a step back actually, cut my hours back and am enjoying re-engaging with the rest of my life. The world hasn't ended yet

P

aasharon90

It's okay to have fun in recovery. It's
okay to laugh and find humor in recovery
and life. Somewhere deep inside our gut
there is a laughable button that needs to
be touched.

Laughing, smiling, joking, being silly
takes the edge off of the stresses of
life, work, family.

Practice having fun. Just like we see
little ones playing in the park or on
the playground. They sit inside the
classrooms listening, learning, applying,
and as soon as the bell rings for recess,
they hurridly run outside to bust out
in laughter, smiles, skipping...just a ball
of joy waiting to burst out.

Let go of the work and go outside and
play.

Im in my mid 50's, not working, enjoying
retirement alongside my husband. For
me I look forward to being outside to
play with my flowers. Sure it work, but
the joy and amazement I see when those
pretty flowers burst out in beautiful
blooms is a stress reliever for me.

There many activities outside of work
that can help us relax and enjoy ourselves.
If you like golf, go play. If you like to swim,
go swim. If you enjoy bouncing a ball, go
throw some basketballs.

My husband bought me a basketball
goal and stand and set it on the edge
of the swimming pool so that when
im ready to go in, I can throw some
balls in the basket and get in some
exercise.

Think as little children do and look
at what they do to have fun in their
everyday life. We can learn a lot from
them, because we all have that inner
child wanting to burst out with laughter.

IOAA2

Hi.
Some years ago I went to an AA weekend seminar covering several topics, all male.

A speaker pointed out that many workaholics were people who had difficulty expressing their feelings especially at home and it’s easier to escape them while dedicated to their work.

To me it’s important for moderation in all our affairs. Many times easy to say sitting here hidden from the outside world for awhile!

BE WELL

zjw

I think you said it well "it defined me." Stuff like our job or our things etc.. should nto define us. Theres more to life then all that stuff. I know a PHD phsysician who's ego is so big his chest is so puffed out but his head is still firmly planted in the sand because he's so full of himself he cant see the world around him. Its sad really. But he's the PHD physician what do i know.

I have a good friend of mine rare speaks to me anymore why? he's wrapped up in his job its just so important to him. It sad for me i just walk down the street of this life alone kicken the can wondering if anyone will come out and play but he's too busy so are many others etc.. But its ok I'm still enjoying myself.

GroundhogDay

I live in a high-pressure environment where the first thing people ask when they meet you is "what do you do for a living?" Everybody is wealthy and has advanced degrees, but I think many of them are functional alcoholics judging from the preponderance of " wine cellars" I see in basements.

All " fun" activities are focused on the kids.

I can't wait to retire and move away from this city.

Aellyce

Some of the posts reminded me of this... I think we can also break down this question about work by what exactly is the source of motivation to give our careers such a big room in our lives. Is it the actual work, what we do -- or is it the status, position, income etc that drives it primarily?

I would say the latter is the one that easily and often leads to burnout and negative influence on other areas of our lives. That, and the kind of motivation/attitude when someone is psychologically driven in their profession to find some sort of "holy grail" to their own issues, and/or to compensate for something lost or never quite achieved in the past. I know, for example, a few psychiatrists in my own field who get trapped in these latter kinds of pursuits and then never feel quite fulfilled.

zjw

*gag*

you must be a patient person. I dont do so well around that kind of scene. People tend to get really wrapped up in there status in life etc.. whatever floats there boat I suppose. yeah some of these same folks would look down at us "alcoholics" as they sip there booze day after day. I just smile and nod anymore.

GroundhogDay

The answer is "the actual work," which comes with high income, status, etc. It's easy to get sucked into the lifestyle over time. Like most people--I hope--I woke up one day and thought "what the hell am I doing?"

GroundhogDay

I don't really have a choice. I have a highly specialized skill set, and so does my husband, that keeps us tied to the local area.