sleepie

Thank you for the comments and taking the time to read. I am off to work now. Ten hour day. I did a small something for myself this morning to motivate me, a suggestion on another thread. I hope someday my mind and body can bounce back, I wish the road there was not so excruciating and fearful. Thanks guys

Soberpotamus

Good morning, Sleepie.

I am sorry you're struggling.

I wanted to let you know that many of us (myself included) spent quite a few years of struggling, going back and forth wavering, trying a little of this and trying a little of that before we finally got sober For example, I actually started back in 2003! My sobriety date is in 2013 There was quite a bit of hell and heartache for me during that ten year period. It didn't happen overnight for many of us. And one time I even had a year sober and then went back to drinking! That was 2003-2004.

The good thing is - you are here and trying, and you really want to have a different life. It really does take different things for all of us. Keep trying and find what works for you. I believe you will do it!

Drummer5000

Sleepie, one thing I have been doing today is telling people I struggle with it, and telling them I am trying to quit. It was terrifying telling the first person but how hey reacted encouraged to share more and today was actually pretty great. Only day 2 but still good. I foresee a problem though if I screw up, telling those same people that I am trying again. Regardless, I feel encouraged after telling some people whats going on, face to face. Do you have anyone to talk to?

Hawkeye13

Sending you support sleepie

As long as you keep trying, you cannot fail
Glad you are back and posting

Kafkaesque

Hi Sleepie nice to meet you! I hope you are feeling better now that you are off work. I agree with small treats to motivate and reward yourself. I've also found desserts (specifically milkshakes) have a way of putting off that desire to drink, at least to some extent. I agree with those who said writing helped them- I write in my journal almost daily and it proves that sobriety only gets better and easier with time. I've also started reading again. Books always have my full attention (unlike watching tv where I am on my phone, cleaning, etc) and I'm able to escape to another world. I always wanted to escape my life, my depression, my problems, etc with alcohol. Now I can escape them by jumping into someone else's "problems" so to speak.

I definitely agree about posting on here before you drink, as well. I came dangerously close to drinking this evening, but instead I came straight home and logged on here. It's challenging to force yourself to do that because the AV doesn't want to be told no and that's obviously what people on here will tell you, but it really is a turning point.

Just remember that we're all here for you! We all share the same struggle and we can get through this together!

Mikie9

Sleepie I hope you are well this evening. The thing that made it work for me, was to just not drink. Simple statement but I have had to find so many other things to do with my time. The bulk of that was to lay on the couch and just not drink.

When I get angry, I get angry. When I get sad, i get sad. When I am ok, I am ok.

The hurdle for me was, just don't drink. It is an escape that you are not happy with or you wouldn't be here, neither would I.

No matter your feelings, drinking only masks them and you are right back where you started when you came here.

I have been sober for a while now and I have more days where I had to pester a friend, family member, or random stranger with hidden cries of "Help me, I want to drink but I don't want too" than I have being ok being sober.

But it is gets better as we learn to live a new life... a new life we all want and why we came here to begin with.

No matter how we deal with it and learn to live a sober life, it all starts with not drinking first. Until we can do that, we are alcoholics and not in control of anything... which is where we want to escape from.

Soberintexas007

Hi Sleepie,

I had 5 days last week before I went on my current binge. Like you, something very troubling happened, and I just felt that I needed alcohol to escape through the pain, as I could not go through it sober. But I probably could have gotten through it if I tried harder. But oh well, I didn't. Today is Day 1 sober for me, and so I will try and see if I can go beyond the 5 days this time.

Mikie9

I dont mean this to sound harsh justbreathe, because I have been there many times and ffs I have failed many times at this, but why not try harder next time? It is at least different ?

again I am not wanting to be a douche. I've just been drunk wondering "why" many times. So many other ways to spend ones time.

Soberintexas007

Yes, I do plan on trying harder next time, you are exactly right. But I cannot promise anything. All I know is that today is Day 1 sober.

Drummer5000

I know you can do it.

waynetheking

Hey sleepie I have news for ya. The alcohol your drinking is causing your dissatisfaction in life. This is the illusion of alcoholism. You think drinking helps you to cope. It's the opposite. It's creating the stress in the first place. And don't give up on sobriety. Most of us try to quit years before we actually see alcoholism for what it truly is. A dead end street my friend. Stay with us sleepie. We here for ya!

ryan9119

I'm curious about what people who quit do. I quit yesterday and I know I'm addicted to alcohol. I'm just gonna lift weights and do cardio on the off days. Don't you need some other thing to focus on?

I couldn't imagine just keeping my same lifestyle and just not drinking beer. For me at least I need a complete lifestyle change.

Hawkeye13

Hi ryan--I joined a Crossfit and found lifting really helpful.

Also went to paleo diet to get rid of carb cravings / sugar from alcohol metabolism, took hikes, did yoga, and started playing guitar again.

You have a lot of time and energy when you don't get drunk

Soberpotamus

Hi Ryan, yes many champion changing things around early on in recovery. Establishing a healthy routine, resurrecting old hobbies, finding new passions... having some goals, etc.

I've picked back up kind of where I had left off with my reading and writing. It was so hard to read (actually comprehend), focus and concentrate, and not to mention - write (!) while drinking heavily. In the past two years of sobriety, my reading abilities and comprehension have soared. My creativity has never been better. My focus is back Similar to how I felt in my early twenties, lol. I feel like a 23 year old again!

Also, I picked up a couple of new hobbies - I got two beagles. Taking care of them, walking them, and learning about them has filled up a good bit of my time in my second year of sobriety. And they are such wonderful friends and companions Much better than some people, lol!

I'm also into running, kayaking, meditating and gardening. Not an expert by any means, but I just enjoy those things

Bostonsportsfan

Sleepie...I think you need to ask yourself "Why". Why do you get sober for a small amount of time and then relapse. I promise you that you'll feel better if you string together more sober time. The longer you stay away from it, the more you realize you don't need it at all. At 10-12 days I was beyond lost and very confused. You can't expect results that quickly. I think you need to commit to being sober, no matter what. Whatever life throws at you...it doesn't matter. Staying sober should be the goal.

I wouldn't be here sober today, if I gave in to cravings, drank when unhappy, drank when bored, etc. I promised myself to stay away from drinking...NO MATTER WHAT. I never wake up and expect to drink that day. I never give myself the mindset of drinking.

airwick

Sorry I must have missed the post Sleepy

You WILL make a year, just keep trying and don't give up!

* you need to talk, you now where you can find me.