RobbyRobot

Thanks all for the posts and shares of support and encouragements. I'm still sleepy but less so. Before Monday's surgery I wasn't sleeping well a few days, so I was already bushed going in, lol. Catching up now.

The best joy I have now is simply being able to drink ice water and not have to sip it. You know, really quench my thirst. Its been like three weeks of sipping and straws. I never fully let on with you guys how really tough that was for me since it was what it was and I hate complaining if there is nothing to be done. It really messed me up for whatever reasons. I think because I was physically helpless to do anything about it except wait for things to get going. I've lost better than 35 lbs since the last week of Jan. Things really got worse with the swallowing mid-March and I went to my first ER visit. And it kept getting worse and back to ER on April 4th totally dehydrated an this time earned myself a bed for three nights. Biopsies taken. More waiting. And just last Wednesday I'm told the biopsies results are positive for advanced cancer. Man, these last few weeks seem like months to me. This last week alone I've lost all sense of time.

So yeah, I still need another day before I can eat whatever. No problem, because like I said, just satisfying my thirst is awesome enough for today, lol.

The pain from the stent installation will be around for another day or so. I have my pills, dilaudid, and they are working taking the edge off. Its just a dull ache when I stay still, and it spikes a bit when I move around. So I'm pretty much a couch potato but I'm sure as hell not thirsty!!

I'm very happy to see all the loving support here friends for Melissa and I. Awesome. It really does brighten our hopes and lightens our burdens.

Okay. I'll be back in a bit.

LBrain

keep on keepin robot!

SoberLeigh

Love to you and yours, dear Robby.

So very glad and relieved to hear that surgery went well.

Water - the very best drink in the house - enjoy it!!!!

More love . . . .

brynn

Good morning Robby!

Weird how it boils down to the little things, right?
Simple pleasures are life's treasures....my granny had that saying hanging in her home and I always think of it at times like these when even a drink of water feels like the most luxurious thing on earth!

alphaomega

This morning, I felt a strong urge to go pray and meditate. I haven't done that in a while. Everytime I tried to push it out of my head, I kept getting urged to go sit in silence. I'm too busy damn it ! lol. But, you know how persistent those elementals can get when they have something to say...

So I took you with me.

Because you travel Light.

Literally.

RobbyRobot

Elementals. Now I'm thinking Riddick. lol. Awesome sci-fi.
Thanks for the kindness in your words Alpha. And everyone's else too, goes with out saying.

PaperDolls

Soberwolf

Hi Robby, glad surgery went well you sir are such an inspiration im not just saying that

Thanks for being so awesome Robby

sleepie

Hi Robbyrobot just wanted to offer my support, I see you have touched so many here. I wish you the best and hope for a speedy and uncomplicated recovery through all of this.

trachemys

Psst, hey bot. Got your cream of wheat right here. Cream of rice? Grits?

Ice Cream?

Can't wait for you to get better, buddy.

RobbyRobot

Well the support here is outstanding! I can't thank y'all enough.

So, I needed three essential bookings be completed before actual treatment begins. I now have all three bookings as of today: with my radiation oncologist (radiation treatment), my medical oncologist (chemo), and my PET scan which as explained in the first thread they inject radio-active sugar into my vein and then after 45 mins or so it spreads throughout, and so they then use a nuclear-image scanner to see where my cancer is and isn't. I have the two consultations on Thursday and on Monday coming. I have the PET scan on Friday. The PET will establish a baseline. Treatment will then likely follow next week for five weeks when another PET scan will determine my progress and allow for major tweaking of my treatments. At this time, I've been told to expect 4 months of chemo as my first line to arrest the advance of my cancer.

I'm really looking forward to all the treatments. I'm likely going to request aggressive chemo and radiation if possible. My natural immune system will be destroyed. Cost of doing treatments. Guess my hair will fall out too, lol.

Ah well. No pain no gain, yeah?

Man, I'm still tired as hell. Tomorrow I'll likely have my second wind, and can get down to eating some toast and eggs, soup and crackers, mashed potatoes and meatloaf w/ gravy. Hmmm. Jello and ice cream for dessert. I'm going to go slow. I'm not wanting to upchuck any of this. I've already did enough throwing up over the past months. Slow and easy does it.

We all know the PET baseline and the PET on the 5th week of treatment are critical. We're looking and hoping for a lot of progress against the cancer of course. Too little progress would not be a good thing. So these next five weeks will be the deal or no deal phase of my treatments.

I'm alright. I'm confident. I'm bringing my best game to fully play all out between my PET scans. It's totally home run time!!!

I gotta say, these threads really help keep me focused and very clear-minded. What can I say but thank you all.

courage2

Here's a good'un, as my father would say. The date is uncertain. It was most likely written when Emerson was in his early 60s -- maybe seriously facing his own mortality for the first time.

As the bird trims her to the gale,
I trim myself to the storm of time,
I man the rudder, reef the sail,
Obey the voice at eve obeyed at prime:
“Lowly faithful, banish fear,
Right onward drive unharmed;
The port, well worth the cruise, is near,
And every wave is charmed.”

--Emerson

fini

every time i read you, i think of this:

Bertolt Brecht — 'In the dark times Will there also be singing? Yes, there will also be singing. About the dark times.'

singing and rallying.

RobbyRobot

(((courage and fini)))

trachemys

I knew I remembered this quote from back when a co-worker first contracted:

During chemo, you’re more tired than you’ve ever been. It’s like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you’re out. You don’t know how you’ll answer the door when your groceries are delivered. But you also find that you’re stronger than you’ve ever been. You’re clear. Your mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception. Previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience. Now it’s instantaneous. ~Melissa Bank

Della1968

For the love of God when your immune system is down stay the hell away from kids and Wal-Mart. They are both an epidemic waiting to happen. Xoxo

GroundhogDay

Robby, I am glad you are doing well and have a positive attitude going into treatment. I will pray for the best outcome for you.

Jeni26

Much love xxx

RobbyRobot

Amen and thanks Jeni

Lenina

Who's going to Walmart? Not on my watch! Friends don't let friends shop at Walmart. yuck!

Jeni, that was a nice post!

Robby, you know, a nice poached egg on toast might be a good first meal starter. Decent eggs, from an real egg farm.

Love from Lenina