Authenticity II
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Here's to a good dreamless sleep! 
I'm sitting out on my patio and just saw my first eastern bluebird of the season!
I was just wondering if you've gotten to go outdoors this weekend or if the weather has even cooperated for such a venture?!?!
Xoxo
I'm sitting out on my patio and just saw my first eastern bluebird of the season!
I was just wondering if you've gotten to go outdoors this weekend or if the weather has even cooperated for such a venture?!?!
Xoxo
Adventures In SpaceTime
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh 
I am just now catching up on this thread, my dear friend.
Tripling up on the prayers and sending an abundance of love.
Tripling up on the prayers and sending an abundance of love.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Hi brynn. Yes, Tuesday and Monday early in the week, we managed to sit out. And last week end. This week end, not so much. Bit rainy and cold wind. And I'm tired too, lol, even if today is itself beautiful. 50F right now.
So glad to hear your enjoying some outdoors. Its a wonderful life after all when natural beauty is still such an inspirational awesomeness all its own.
Seeing the first seasonal bird of a local species is akin to a shooting star across the heavens
Good times brynn!
So glad to hear your enjoying some outdoors. Its a wonderful life after all when natural beauty is still such an inspirational awesomeness all its own.
Seeing the first seasonal bird of a local species is akin to a shooting star across the heavens
Good times brynn!
Woe is Moo.
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Hi Robot, so yesterday I go paddleboarding. Is new kind of stupid "in" exercise. I only go cuz sexy new neighbor invite me during time I was feeling little bit better and I say, okay. (Cuz, you know, according to recovery I has to accept invitiation and do new thing and be active, yes?)
When day approach, I felt to back out, but I go. Was at beautiful mountain lake with lot of color and flower. I only fall once. During whole experience, I observe that surroundings was lovely and I exceed all expectation of my physical abilities. My neighbor hover around, encouraging me, taking picture, giving compliments. So sweet.
But truth is, I was deeply sad whole time. Because I could not receive the attention, the beauty of the lake, or even my own courage to stand on that board. I kept willing self to receive it. I meditate. I maybe even prayed. But was nothing. I still dead inside. And shortly after we get home, was like a distant memory. It not matter that it happen or not.
And I thought, of my indominable friend Robot, who is so grateful just for a few moments of sleep. And I cry, and I wish I could give my gifts to you. But truth is, you not need my gifts. You extract every ounce of gifts out of even darkest situations.
Whatever happen with you heart, Robot, you got a good one.
When day approach, I felt to back out, but I go. Was at beautiful mountain lake with lot of color and flower. I only fall once. During whole experience, I observe that surroundings was lovely and I exceed all expectation of my physical abilities. My neighbor hover around, encouraging me, taking picture, giving compliments. So sweet.
But truth is, I was deeply sad whole time. Because I could not receive the attention, the beauty of the lake, or even my own courage to stand on that board. I kept willing self to receive it. I meditate. I maybe even prayed. But was nothing. I still dead inside. And shortly after we get home, was like a distant memory. It not matter that it happen or not.
And I thought, of my indominable friend Robot, who is so grateful just for a few moments of sleep. And I cry, and I wish I could give my gifts to you. But truth is, you not need my gifts. You extract every ounce of gifts out of even darkest situations.
Whatever happen with you heart, Robot, you got a good one.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 283
Hey Robby, hope you are resting. When it gets too quiet in here I tend to worry (I get that trait from my Mom- but she is the best Mom in the world so I don't mind). However, I think I see your raccoon around so at least I know things are okay. Keep scratching, clawing, and fighting, raccoon... we are all here for you both.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Thanks one and all for such wonderful shares, my dear friends. I was getting in some sleep. Still needing more. A pivotal meeting Monday 3pm for Melissa and I to officially approve treatment offerings following Friday's PET, and as well receive analysis and ongoing resolvement of heart failure complications. I'm thinking externally worn pacemaker, so pack can be unhooked when they radiate me. The wires would be internal and unaffected, I think, while the 5 times a week 1/2hr treatment could proceed, yeah? And of course the enlarged lymph node surgically removed before zapping me, so as to preserve my stomach tissue. Chemo is good to go, hopefully within all scenarios.
In any case, we'll all work together and problem solve this. It's just what it is.
I'm off to a hopefully dreamless sleep. Melissa and I are doing as well as expected. We love you all!
Goodnight for now.
In any case, we'll all work together and problem solve this. It's just what it is.
I'm off to a hopefully dreamless sleep. Melissa and I are doing as well as expected. We love you all!
Goodnight for now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Thoughts and best wishes are with you today Robby and Melissa.
As I wake up to a beautiful morning and sit out in my garden listening to the birds singing and the distant rumble of trains taking commuters into London, my thoughts wander to 2 very strong and loved people across the world.
Peace be with you xxx
As I wake up to a beautiful morning and sit out in my garden listening to the birds singing and the distant rumble of trains taking commuters into London, my thoughts wander to 2 very strong and loved people across the world.
Peace be with you xxx
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Rob just passing through like i do,
everyone else seems to have said it all . I'd just like to thank you for being here for my own comparatively short recovery .
One of the most inspiring things i saw you do was backing away from the a hot subject or person worked up , coming back to it after maybe 20 mins or 1/2 hour after you'd thought about it , responding with thoughtful care and compassion .
Thanks for being a brother in the fight , i try and pay it forwards as best i can .
keep on
m
everyone else seems to have said it all . I'd just like to thank you for being here for my own comparatively short recovery .
One of the most inspiring things i saw you do was backing away from the a hot subject or person worked up , coming back to it after maybe 20 mins or 1/2 hour after you'd thought about it , responding with thoughtful care and compassion .
Thanks for being a brother in the fight , i try and pay it forwards as best i can .
keep on
m
Adventures In SpaceTime
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Hi friends
Dreamless sleep achieved, lol.
So, I had already mentioned the emerge team on my Friday overnight stay stated my lungs could quickly again take on water as the original cause has not been determined. At discharge Saturday morning we decided that following my 3pm meeting today with my medical oncologist, this would fulfill the legal requirements of the whole team having examined me. And the PET too is now done. And they would have had their team case conference this morning, I'm going to later today be hospitalized so as to resolve my heart failure cause ASAP so as to begin my cancer treatments. No better alternative comes to mind, as even when hopitalized I'd just be in a different wing, so could easily be ported over back and forth and get my heart stabilized and still get whatever therapy and surgical treatments which are possible.
My shortness of breath has returned which is what brought me to emerge Friday night. At home, nothing is happening to help, as I'm having trouble sleeping through the pain. In fact, although I successfully quit the dilaudid, a few days after the Monday 20th stent surgery, I had to restart last night to lessen the pain so as to get some sleep. When a guy has to take dilaudid to get some sleep, this is not a good thing, yeah? So this in itself indicates my physical distress. My best breathing position is sitting up and bending forward at the hips. The more I bend the other way, the less capacity my lungs have. Even with dilaudid I can't sleep flat on my back. It feels like I'm drowning, and the pain defeats the dilaudid.
Wow.
So, yeah. Hospital time again. Makes good sense under the prevailing circumstances.
Okay, I'm back to bed. Thanks my good friends. We got this.
Dreamless sleep achieved, lol.
So, I had already mentioned the emerge team on my Friday overnight stay stated my lungs could quickly again take on water as the original cause has not been determined. At discharge Saturday morning we decided that following my 3pm meeting today with my medical oncologist, this would fulfill the legal requirements of the whole team having examined me. And the PET too is now done. And they would have had their team case conference this morning, I'm going to later today be hospitalized so as to resolve my heart failure cause ASAP so as to begin my cancer treatments. No better alternative comes to mind, as even when hopitalized I'd just be in a different wing, so could easily be ported over back and forth and get my heart stabilized and still get whatever therapy and surgical treatments which are possible.
My shortness of breath has returned which is what brought me to emerge Friday night. At home, nothing is happening to help, as I'm having trouble sleeping through the pain. In fact, although I successfully quit the dilaudid, a few days after the Monday 20th stent surgery, I had to restart last night to lessen the pain so as to get some sleep. When a guy has to take dilaudid to get some sleep, this is not a good thing, yeah? So this in itself indicates my physical distress. My best breathing position is sitting up and bending forward at the hips. The more I bend the other way, the less capacity my lungs have. Even with dilaudid I can't sleep flat on my back. It feels like I'm drowning, and the pain defeats the dilaudid.
Wow.
So, yeah. Hospital time again. Makes good sense under the prevailing circumstances.
Okay, I'm back to bed. Thanks my good friends. We got this.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hey Robby,
that's a mighty big batch of lemonade you keep making there as life keeps throwing you barrels full of the yellow fruit...
i will keep sending good thoughts throughout the day to you both. no, to you three...you have a daughter, yes?
and i'm mindful of the two hearts you have, the one shining through here all the time and the physical one...rooting for both.
that's a mighty big batch of lemonade you keep making there as life keeps throwing you barrels full of the yellow fruit...
i will keep sending good thoughts throughout the day to you both. no, to you three...you have a daughter, yes?
and i'm mindful of the two hearts you have, the one shining through here all the time and the physical one...rooting for both.
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