My story thus far
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6
My story thus far
Hello! Well, I am a 42 year old male. Didn't really drink in High School, but began to drink in College. Didn't drink heavy through most of 20's or very early 30's. Started going out socially every happy hour for drinks about 12 years ago.
I kept it under control for the most part. Anywhere from 3-5 pints of light beer in a drinking session...always with food. Used it to deal with anxiety condition.
About 2-3 years ago, my consumption crept up to the equivalent of 8-15 beers a day. About 3 years ago, I wanted to see if I could quit. There is a lot of alcoholism on both sides of my family.
I stopped for 7 days without a hint of withdrawal. I figured that I was in the clear and started drinking again.
Well...my weight and tolerance started rising considerably. To the point where, 4 days ago I found myself at 300 pounds with high BP and drinking between 14 and 28 light beers a day. The days I would drink 14 were days I had to work at night. I would start in the morning and be done early so I was never affected in the least at work. My job means the world to me.
On my nights off, I would drink the customary 14 light beers over 3 hours and food in the morning/early afternoon and then go out again for 10-14 more light beers about 10pm...again with food. Never have I drank at home. For me it is social in nature, if not amounts.
Drinking out that much is expensive! I checked and I spend $1,500 a month drinking/eating out. I didn't miss a day in over two years, even on days I gave blood. On nights I had off, I set my alarm to make sure I was up from my day drinking in time to go night drinking. I shuddered at the thought that I would wake up after bar closed.
I figured I needed the beer to cope. To stay calm. To get my sleep.
Than last Saturday, my mother died of a massive heart attack. Not a person in the world that meant more to me. We were very close. She was not a drinker. My dad was a fairly big drinker, but quit cold turkey from the booze and smokes over 30 years ago and never looked back.
4 days ago, I decided I was going to try to stop drinking. Go to my same main bar, but instead of drinking I would bring in my laptop to keep me occupied along with conversation with my friends that were drinking. Drank diet soda and water and ate a healthy meal.
I am past day 4. No withdrawal symtoms at all. Down 11 pounds. More energy already. Back not bothering me after walking distances. Good attitude. Anxiety is well under control. Able to cope with loss healthfully and getting decent sleep.
I feel lucky. I hope I can keep this up! I want to for my and my departed mothers memory. I would love to get back to my pre big drinking weight of 180-190 pounds.
I am taking it one day at a time.
I kept it under control for the most part. Anywhere from 3-5 pints of light beer in a drinking session...always with food. Used it to deal with anxiety condition.
About 2-3 years ago, my consumption crept up to the equivalent of 8-15 beers a day. About 3 years ago, I wanted to see if I could quit. There is a lot of alcoholism on both sides of my family.
I stopped for 7 days without a hint of withdrawal. I figured that I was in the clear and started drinking again.
Well...my weight and tolerance started rising considerably. To the point where, 4 days ago I found myself at 300 pounds with high BP and drinking between 14 and 28 light beers a day. The days I would drink 14 were days I had to work at night. I would start in the morning and be done early so I was never affected in the least at work. My job means the world to me.
On my nights off, I would drink the customary 14 light beers over 3 hours and food in the morning/early afternoon and then go out again for 10-14 more light beers about 10pm...again with food. Never have I drank at home. For me it is social in nature, if not amounts.
Drinking out that much is expensive! I checked and I spend $1,500 a month drinking/eating out. I didn't miss a day in over two years, even on days I gave blood. On nights I had off, I set my alarm to make sure I was up from my day drinking in time to go night drinking. I shuddered at the thought that I would wake up after bar closed.
I figured I needed the beer to cope. To stay calm. To get my sleep.
Than last Saturday, my mother died of a massive heart attack. Not a person in the world that meant more to me. We were very close. She was not a drinker. My dad was a fairly big drinker, but quit cold turkey from the booze and smokes over 30 years ago and never looked back.
4 days ago, I decided I was going to try to stop drinking. Go to my same main bar, but instead of drinking I would bring in my laptop to keep me occupied along with conversation with my friends that were drinking. Drank diet soda and water and ate a healthy meal.
I am past day 4. No withdrawal symtoms at all. Down 11 pounds. More energy already. Back not bothering me after walking distances. Good attitude. Anxiety is well under control. Able to cope with loss healthfully and getting decent sleep.
I feel lucky. I hope I can keep this up! I want to for my and my departed mothers memory. I would love to get back to my pre big drinking weight of 180-190 pounds.
I am taking it one day at a time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi and welcome Baseball Fan 
I'm sorry for your loss, but I think you've made a great decision
Gotta say to me, this is a pretty risky strategy.
I'm glad you've stayed sober so far but in my opinion it's going to be a tough call if you do that every day.
I had to make some real changes to my lifestyle when I got sober.
D
I'm sorry for your loss, but I think you've made a great decision
Go to my same main bar, but instead of drinking I would bring in my laptop to keep me occupied along with conversation with my friends that were drinking. Drank diet soda and water and ate a healthy meal.
I'm glad you've stayed sober so far but in my opinion it's going to be a tough call if you do that every day.
I had to make some real changes to my lifestyle when I got sober.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi and welcome Baseball Fan
I'm sorry for your loss, but I think you've made a great decision
Gotta say to me, this is a pretty risky strategy.
I'm glad you've stayed sober so far but in my opinion it's going to be a tough call if you do that every day.
I had to make some real changes to my lifestyle when I got sober.
D
I'm sorry for your loss, but I think you've made a great decision
Gotta say to me, this is a pretty risky strategy.
I'm glad you've stayed sober so far but in my opinion it's going to be a tough call if you do that every day.
I had to make some real changes to my lifestyle when I got sober.
D
I built up a bad habit at those places, who is to say that I can't build up good habits? I love the food and the people. Now, instead of pounding beers like they were going out of style. I will leisurely play trivia or Big Buck Hunter.
So far people at the main bar have been supportive. They like me and think it is great that I am in there drinking soda. they knew me when I was 180 pounds. To see this formally average sized guy morph into a fat azz probably helps them support me getting healthier. I tip they same and since I am often the only person in the bar portion of this restaurant during the day hours, they have still come over to BS the same as always.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hey BF, there are quite a few of us in SR that started off slow, maybe kept that level for years, then the drinking started escalating to problem levels. That happened to me.
The thing is, you can't go back to the moderate drinking because the brain's rewired. It might work for a while, but gradually you get back to old levels, or even surpass them.
My message is that it's much more relaxing to accept that you can't drink again. Your health payback is so immediate and positive I hope you'll never want to.
The thing is, you can't go back to the moderate drinking because the brain's rewired. It might work for a while, but gradually you get back to old levels, or even surpass them.
My message is that it's much more relaxing to accept that you can't drink again. Your health payback is so immediate and positive I hope you'll never want to.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by FeelingGreat
Hey BF, there are quite a few of us in SR that started off slow, maybe kept that level for years, then the drinking started escalating to problem levels. That happened to me.
The thing is, you can't go back to the moderate drinking because the brain's rewired. It might work for a while, but gradually you get back to old levels, or even surpass them.
My message is that it's much more relaxing to accept that you can't drink again. Your health payback is so immediate and positive I hope you'll never want to.
The thing is, you can't go back to the moderate drinking because the brain's rewired. It might work for a while, but gradually you get back to old levels, or even surpass them.
My message is that it's much more relaxing to accept that you can't drink again. Your health payback is so immediate and positive I hope you'll never want to.
If I drank occasionally, it would not be to just drink a couple..it would be to get buzzed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
Great job on the sobriety. That $1,500 a month would cover a new BMW and not the entry level one. Saving the money is an extra bonus of sobriety.
I thank God that I am not experiencing any withdrawals and that my abuse of alcohol appears to stem from my stupidity and not an actual disease.
Having the extra energy and clear head is really, really nice.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 58
Originally Posted by BasebalFan
Having the extra energy and clear head is really, really nice.
I'm SO glad you didn't experience withdrawals. But do be careful with alcohol. Whether you do or don't believe it to be a "disease," it's definitely a predator and will creep up on you given an opportunity. Please don't underestimate it.
A lot of former drinkers are triggered by being around alcohol, but it doesn't really bother me. For me, I'm triggered by stress, fatigue, and certain emotional states. I think it's important to learn our own unique triggers and have a plan for handling any sudden urges which pop up.
You have given your mother the greatest gift she could have asked for: A commitment to your own health and longevity.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Sorry about the loss of your mother. When my mom died, my drinking went off the rails and I didn't stop for three more years.
You can call it social drinking, but it's not. Only the setting was social. The drinking is not, not those amounts.
I hope you'll give thought to staying away from the bars. Almost everyone here, at some point, has found themselves overwhelmed by the urge to drink. Being one waitress hail away from a beer is not the way to conquer such cravings.
But it's your sober journey. Let us know how it continues.
Originally Posted by BasebalFan
On my nights off, I would drink the customary 14 light beers over 3 hours and food in the morning/early afternoon and then go out again for 10-14 more light beers about 10pm...again with food. Never have I drank at home. For me it is social in nature, if not amounts.
I hope you'll give thought to staying away from the bars. Almost everyone here, at some point, has found themselves overwhelmed by the urge to drink. Being one waitress hail away from a beer is not the way to conquer such cravings.
But it's your sober journey. Let us know how it continues.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Welcome baseball fan - I am also a huge baseball nut (go Twins!) and can't wait for the season to begin, less than a week away!
I'm around your age (I'm 40) and I quit a couple of years ago. I went through a lot of the same things you are dealing with, including a traumatic experience that really triggered my need to quit. I ended up in rehab. The first day out of rehab, I went to my favorite bar and had lunch with a soda....so I can see our experiences might mirror each other a bit.
That said - and I know it sounds crazy now - I am in complete agreement with Dee here on the issue of going to those bars. I know you're doing it with your laptop and drinking coke. And I know you want to keep hanging out with your old pals and don't want to hide. But...how about you try a few nights off from the old bars? Just give it a shot for a while. Sobriety is a huge mountain to climb and as former heavy drinkers many of us have been in your shoes. Give yourself a real shot and stay away from alcohol for a bit. It might sound boring but it's not as bad as it seems!
Very sorry for your loss. Welcome aboard and all the best!
I'm around your age (I'm 40) and I quit a couple of years ago. I went through a lot of the same things you are dealing with, including a traumatic experience that really triggered my need to quit. I ended up in rehab. The first day out of rehab, I went to my favorite bar and had lunch with a soda....so I can see our experiences might mirror each other a bit.
That said - and I know it sounds crazy now - I am in complete agreement with Dee here on the issue of going to those bars. I know you're doing it with your laptop and drinking coke. And I know you want to keep hanging out with your old pals and don't want to hide. But...how about you try a few nights off from the old bars? Just give it a shot for a while. Sobriety is a huge mountain to climb and as former heavy drinkers many of us have been in your shoes. Give yourself a real shot and stay away from alcohol for a bit. It might sound boring but it's not as bad as it seems!
Very sorry for your loss. Welcome aboard and all the best!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 118
Welcome and congrats on your decision! I am also very sorry for your loss.
I agree that this sounds like a dangerous situation; especially during the early days. *For the first couple of months, I didn't even trust myself to go down the liquor store aisle @ the grocery store.
I agree that this sounds like a dangerous situation; especially during the early days. *For the first couple of months, I didn't even trust myself to go down the liquor store aisle @ the grocery store.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
Sorry about your mom. That's really hard.
I agree that going to the bar sober is sketchy. I suspect that the more sobriety you get the less you'll want to keep up that program. It's like hanging out in the bathroom when you don't have to go. Also, be careful with the sodas. They aren't good for you like water and they are expensive, especially if you add it up. Good luck.
I agree that going to the bar sober is sketchy. I suspect that the more sobriety you get the less you'll want to keep up that program. It's like hanging out in the bathroom when you don't have to go. Also, be careful with the sodas. They aren't good for you like water and they are expensive, especially if you add it up. Good luck.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6
Just passed day 7 without a drink! No withdrawals. Sleeping good. Spirits good considering I lost the most important person in my life (mother) not even two weeks ago.
I have been to all three of my main bars and drank diet pop at all three. I haven't had any issues.
One of my biggest deals with quitting drinking was the question "What am I go to do with all my time?" Well, I am going to the same places at roughly the same times and seeing the same people and constantly hoisting a drink to my mouth....the only difference? It is diet pop and not beer.
Another difference? Most bartenders aren't charging me at all for my diet pops. Instead of a $30-$40 tab with food and beer. I am leaving with an $8-$10 tab for food. I tip well though. At least $5 or so cash.
I am still talking to my friends, playing the bar sports trivia, screwing around on my laptop, etc.
I proved to myself, I don't need the beers.
I have been to all three of my main bars and drank diet pop at all three. I haven't had any issues.
One of my biggest deals with quitting drinking was the question "What am I go to do with all my time?" Well, I am going to the same places at roughly the same times and seeing the same people and constantly hoisting a drink to my mouth....the only difference? It is diet pop and not beer.
Another difference? Most bartenders aren't charging me at all for my diet pops. Instead of a $30-$40 tab with food and beer. I am leaving with an $8-$10 tab for food. I tip well though. At least $5 or so cash.
I am still talking to my friends, playing the bar sports trivia, screwing around on my laptop, etc.
I proved to myself, I don't need the beers.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Glad to hear that sobriety continues for you, Baseball.
And my sympathies on the loss of your mother. My father died very unexpectedly at the beginning of last summer. It's difficult. For me, grieving got worse. Painful moments strike for no reason I can clearly identify.
Gonna join the chorus here. I strongly encourage you to rethink patronizing bars this early in your sobriety, particularly after the sudden loss of a much-loved parent. Alcoholism is sneaky and patient, waiting to catch up with you in an unguarded moment. You don't want that to happen when you're surrounded by booze.
Take care.
And my sympathies on the loss of your mother. My father died very unexpectedly at the beginning of last summer. It's difficult. For me, grieving got worse. Painful moments strike for no reason I can clearly identify.
Gonna join the chorus here. I strongly encourage you to rethink patronizing bars this early in your sobriety, particularly after the sudden loss of a much-loved parent. Alcoholism is sneaky and patient, waiting to catch up with you in an unguarded moment. You don't want that to happen when you're surrounded by booze.
Take care.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Venecia
Glad to hear that sobriety continues for you, Baseball.
And my sympathies on the loss of your mother. My father died very unexpectedly at the beginning of last summer. It's difficult. For me, grieving got worse. Painful moments strike for no reason I can clearly identify.
Gonna join the chorus here. I strongly encourage you to rethink patronizing bars this early in your sobriety, particularly after the sudden loss of a much-loved parent. Alcoholism is sneaky and patient, waiting to catch up with you in an unguarded moment. You don't want that to happen when you're surrounded by booze.
Take care.
And my sympathies on the loss of your mother. My father died very unexpectedly at the beginning of last summer. It's difficult. For me, grieving got worse. Painful moments strike for no reason I can clearly identify.
Gonna join the chorus here. I strongly encourage you to rethink patronizing bars this early in your sobriety, particularly after the sudden loss of a much-loved parent. Alcoholism is sneaky and patient, waiting to catch up with you in an unguarded moment. You don't want that to happen when you're surrounded by booze.
Take care.
I also haven't sworn off drinking. I am open to the possibility of only drinking when out of town or once a week..etc. I am not setting it up as though if I have one drink I have failed. By proving to myself I did not NEED to drink to feel alright...I have won a battle (not the war)
Now, that being said. The best thing is to stay on a roll and stay off it all together. I can see how giving myself permission to drink one night can lead into two nights can lead into more and more until I am back in the same hole.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by BasebalFan
I kept it under control for the most part.
There is a lot of alcoholism on both sides of my family.
On my nights off, I would drink the customary 14 light beers over 3 hours and food in the morning/early afternoon and then go out again for 10-14 more light beers about 10pm...
I didn't miss a day in over two years, even on days I gave blood. On nights I had off, I set my alarm to make sure I was up from my day drinking in time to go night drinking. I shuddered at the thought that I would wake up after bar closed.
There is a lot of alcoholism on both sides of my family.
On my nights off, I would drink the customary 14 light beers over 3 hours and food in the morning/early afternoon and then go out again for 10-14 more light beers about 10pm...
I didn't miss a day in over two years, even on days I gave blood. On nights I had off, I set my alarm to make sure I was up from my day drinking in time to go night drinking. I shuddered at the thought that I would wake up after bar closed.
Originally Posted by BasebalFan
With being able to quit cold turkey after such large amounts, I consider myself a guy that abused alcohol..not someone that was addicted to it.
I also haven't sworn off drinking. I am open to the possibility of only drinking when out of town or once a week..etc. I am not setting it up as though if I have one drink I have failed. By proving to myself I did not NEED to drink to feel alright...I have won a battle (not the war)
Now, that being said. The best thing is to stay on a roll and stay off it all together. I can see how giving myself permission to drink one night can lead into two nights can lead into more and more until I am back in the same hole.
I also haven't sworn off drinking. I am open to the possibility of only drinking when out of town or once a week..etc. I am not setting it up as though if I have one drink I have failed. By proving to myself I did not NEED to drink to feel alright...I have won a battle (not the war)
Now, that being said. The best thing is to stay on a roll and stay off it all together. I can see how giving myself permission to drink one night can lead into two nights can lead into more and more until I am back in the same hole.
There may be a possibility you are deceiving yourself some, perhaps. Although maybe you are indeed simply a heavy drinker who can indeed control from time to time when necessary their alcohol intake.
Please understand that not all alcoholics go thru withdrawals. I drank for over 35 years and quit several months ago - cold turkey. Other than some slight sleep issues, I had not DT's and did no detox. Remarkable. My bad habit had gotten to around a 750 of vodka per day with 6-12 beers to "take the edge" off.
Some of the phrases you used in a couple posts sound like me talking to me years back. Turns out that I wasn't quite being honest with myself on all fronts.
I would quit, plan to not drink and poof! That promise simple vanished into thin air. I know, some controlled drinking - that the ticket!
Maybe you are that guy, only time well tell I suppose. I like the very last part of your post I put in bold. Good advice perhaps from basebalfan to basebalfan.
My heartfelt empathy on the loss of your Mom - very painful.
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