pulltight

I do... Not all the time but when I do it's always way in the future for some imagined special occasion, social functions, Birthdays or holidays.
I believe it's a thought process habit I developed that helps keeping me from drinking today and when those imagined drinking occasions roll around I don't drink.
I'm just wondering if the above is a flawed way to cope when I have a bad day...it has been getting me through the bad ones.

Dee74

I haven;t for a long while...I did at the start tho.

Not sure it's the best coping mechanism - it's almost like agreeing that, at some point yet determined, you'll drink again?

D

pulltight

That's what I feel like, Like I'm lying to myself and my sobriety is temporary.
I don't get too wrapped up in the drinking fantasies, just to the point that I do drink and that's the end of it.
I'm still pretty new to this so maybe like you it'll pass, just don't want it to cross over to reality and I've been good at managing that to this point.

Dee74

There's nothing wrong with going day by day - Forever was really daunting to me, until I had enough day by days to feel ok with forever.

The fantasising tho? Play the tape through to the end - remember the hangovers, the embarrassments, the injuries, the disappointments.

Never forget what bought you here to SR

D

EndGameNYC

That's the lie...that your sobriety is "temporary." Playing "what if" games with time is a risky business in sobriety. The temporary nature of your sobriety, as your fantasies lead you to believe, leave you with a small step to "I might as well get it over with and drink." And then not a very big leap to "Today's the day."

Your fantasies have already decided on the 'what'; they just haven't circled a date on your calendar as to 'when'.

pulltight

That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Like Dee said, forever was a very long time for me at the start and my thought process helped me through and am thinking about different ways to change this.
And Dee, I always make sure I include the hangovers and consequences in the scenario, even after nearly 6 months it's fresh in my memory.

courage2

Hi pulltight and congratulations on almost 6 months!

I think you should start trying to fill your head up with other fantasies at this point. IMO, it's not healthy to give too much mental space to thinking about alcohol. Even if the thoughts include the hangovers and consequences, it's not positive or growth-oriented. I've tried really hard this year to teach myself to focus mentally on other things.

Take positive actions to encourage your inner life to flourish, and you'll find yourself growing in ways that won't leave room for thoughts of drinking.

lacey424

Yes, I fantasize about it quite often (2-3 times a day during the week, pretty much non stop on weekends.) it's lessened somewhat the last couple weeks.

pulltight

One thing I have noticed is that the further I get away from drinking the easier it is to think positive and the less I think about drinking in the future, happens once or twice a week.
Negative thoughts consumed me while drinking and drove me to keep drinking and I'm trying to reprogram myself and erase any remnants of this.

Jimboagust

All the time.

sugarbear1

In early recovery, I kinda did, but it always ended with me being alone with a bottle, no one, nothing left, just me and that bottle...and hating myself again.

I changed it to living soberly and happily....

pulltight

When I first stopped I did too, it seems to lessen with time like Dee said but I'm trying to figure out some better ways to cope with the days I think about drinking. Trying to stay ahead of this.
I'll bet it let's up for you as we'll.

courage2

If it helps at all, at first I just tried some "mindfulness" techniques -- like as I'd walk to work, a time I often thought about drinking, I'd mentally recite the names of things & the colors I saw, like "red brick" "black iron" "license plate" whatever. If the drinking thoughts got loud, I just thought about red bricks even louder LOL. I actually learned a few things about license plates that way... Then I started reading a little poetry and looking at photography -- things have taken off from there but it really has been all about just feeding my imagination distracting/attractive alternatives.

It sounds like you're on a great track!

alphaomega

During many of my quits, I thoght about it constantly.

This time, I'm actually relieved I don't have to drink again.

Creekryder

I have no desire to fantasize about a practice that was killing me. I'd prefer a fantasy that involved vanilla ice cream with fresh strawberries. (And perhaps Jennifer Aniston feeding it to me. :-) )

pulltight

I'll try that angle.
I love everything about not needing to drink and being sober, then I have a moment that drinking enters my mind and I tell my brain "not now" and that's when I come up with the future scenario to deflect the battle to a later date to avoid fighting the mental battle at that moment.
I need to insert some variant of your suggestion into the "not now" part so I deal with it right then and move past it.

MelindaFlowers

Good question. Honestly, not at all anymore. It took a while but, no. After a certain amount of time you don't miss it at all. It's a HUGE relief to have alcohol out of my life.

A year or two ago if you would have told me that I would get to a point where I don't drink and don't miss it, I would have thought you were insane.

seanie1888

I did a lot at start, still do times.
but its dangerous thinking, my sponsor told me to imagine a big stop sign in front of me. it worked.
I also ask my higher power to remove the thoughts once they come.
don't worry about thinking about drinking, its the most natural thing for alcoholics to think about is a drink, its what we do with the thoughts.
Take care

JeffreyAK

Not anymore, there's no more life in that fantasy. The rosey glasses are long gone, and I have no desire to drink anymore because I very much enjoy sobriety, and because I know drinking again would suck me right back down the whirlpool of misery. But it took a while to get to that point. Early on, if I found my brain going there, I'd find a way to distract and shut it down quickly. I didn't want to fight it or try to think my way out of an urge, I'd just distract - anything at all, just distract and shut it down. You might try that instead of giving in to the fantasy and dwelling on it? There are lots of healthy ways to cope with bad days, rather than fantasizing about drinking when you know it will take you back into the dark.

Vandermast

Yes but it is most unwelcome and against my much better judgement

v