Caught...
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ascot
Posts: 73
hm...i am a parent.
and when i found my oldest had stolen, what was much more worrisome than the stealing and drinking was the lying about it. the attempt to cover up.
wanting to save parents a worry is laudable, but when they already know and have the missing-alcohol-evidence in plain sight, it's more like involving everyone in a lie that will spiral if you keep denying.
if i suggested to you that they are already worried sick because they know, and that deny deny deny is you protecting yourself from consequences...what would you say?
if you can, speak the truth and you might get help and relief and support. find a way forward together.
and when i found my oldest had stolen, what was much more worrisome than the stealing and drinking was the lying about it. the attempt to cover up.
wanting to save parents a worry is laudable, but when they already know and have the missing-alcohol-evidence in plain sight, it's more like involving everyone in a lie that will spiral if you keep denying.
if i suggested to you that they are already worried sick because they know, and that deny deny deny is you protecting yourself from consequences...what would you say?
if you can, speak the truth and you might get help and relief and support. find a way forward together.
Talk to them. Yes it's frightening even the concept of it.
They are not drones, they are your human parents, they have 'commented' on it for a reason. Other parents would have already flown into a rage and beat rather then come to them, listen.
It's scary, but it's obvious they love you, and are respecting you enough to not accuse. Dear one, you are lucky; Do not burn the bridge between you and loving parents. Yes they may wail and be hurt, so be it. Be prepared, don't be a snarky ass in response.
Be honest, be yourself don't accuse, just be honest without a whawha crying jag. Be an adult, not a big scary adult child blaming them for your actions. We forget they are people too not just unfeeling meat.
Good luck,
They are not drones, they are your human parents, they have 'commented' on it for a reason. Other parents would have already flown into a rage and beat rather then come to them, listen.
It's scary, but it's obvious they love you, and are respecting you enough to not accuse. Dear one, you are lucky; Do not burn the bridge between you and loving parents. Yes they may wail and be hurt, so be it. Be prepared, don't be a snarky ass in response.
Be honest, be yourself don't accuse, just be honest without a whawha crying jag. Be an adult, not a big scary adult child blaming them for your actions. We forget they are people too not just unfeeling meat.
Good luck,
There were people in my life that had heard so many lies from me, heard some pretty smooth ones, had witnessed firsthand what I would do to get a drink and no matter Ifmi was lieing or truthful didn't believe a word from my mouth.
After I got sober and had been sober for a while there were times I was with my family. I had started earning their trust again they opened up about some of my insane antics and lies from the past. My sister and brother in law told me there were countless times the phone would ring and they would think it was " the call" informing them I killed someone while driving drunk.
And that is one of the blessings recovery has brought me. My family isn't waiting for one of toms great debacles any more. They aren't all jacked up when I'm around wondering what I'm going to do or say. My niece even let's me take care of her 15 month old son 3 days a week( and that's another blessing!).
I have earned their trust through Action.
They are no longer worried about me when I'm not around or when I'm around.
Life sober is not something I could have ever dreamed up as it has been beyond my wildest dreams.
It all started with a decision to do whatever I had to do to get sober.
Then action.
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