How I got sober and stayed sober without AA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 31
How I got sober and stayed sober without AA
Hello. I come back here every once and a while to see what's up. I have largely stayed sober without AA, and with only my willpower and minimal personal supports.
I finally got sober in May of 2012. I had reached my last rock bottom. I went to detox for only 9 days, but it really was enough for me. I went to AA a few times, but realized it wasn't for me. I didn't feel like giving up and saying that I lack the willpower to not control what I put into my body. I realized I was powerless over alcohol, to a certain extent. So long as I never picked up another first drink, I could live my life sober.
So here's a few tips I learned over time to stay sober without AA:
1. Your brain is lying to you. Those cravings are just a way for the addicted part of your brain into tricking you into drinking. Don't give in.
2. You do have the willpower. If you had the power to give it up in the first place, you have the power to stay sober.
3. If you are getting really bad cravings, try to change your train of thought. Immediately start to think, "I'm not going to drink".
4. Realize what triggers your cravings, and try to avoid them. If you can't avoid them, then start to associate them with something else. Classical conditioning goes a long way.
5. Cravings may or may not ever go away. Just learn to live with them, and ignore them.
6. The brain automatically associates good memories with drinking. You have to change the way you think. Instead of thinking of the good times, think about the bad times. I use the fear of delirium tremens, along with other bad memories, to keep me sober.
AA helps tons of people, and I'm not saying to give up on it if it works for you. If it doesn't work for you though, there's plenty of other ways to stay sober.
Never give up. You do have the power.
I finally got sober in May of 2012. I had reached my last rock bottom. I went to detox for only 9 days, but it really was enough for me. I went to AA a few times, but realized it wasn't for me. I didn't feel like giving up and saying that I lack the willpower to not control what I put into my body. I realized I was powerless over alcohol, to a certain extent. So long as I never picked up another first drink, I could live my life sober.
So here's a few tips I learned over time to stay sober without AA:
1. Your brain is lying to you. Those cravings are just a way for the addicted part of your brain into tricking you into drinking. Don't give in.
2. You do have the willpower. If you had the power to give it up in the first place, you have the power to stay sober.
3. If you are getting really bad cravings, try to change your train of thought. Immediately start to think, "I'm not going to drink".
4. Realize what triggers your cravings, and try to avoid them. If you can't avoid them, then start to associate them with something else. Classical conditioning goes a long way.
5. Cravings may or may not ever go away. Just learn to live with them, and ignore them.
6. The brain automatically associates good memories with drinking. You have to change the way you think. Instead of thinking of the good times, think about the bad times. I use the fear of delirium tremens, along with other bad memories, to keep me sober.
AA helps tons of people, and I'm not saying to give up on it if it works for you. If it doesn't work for you though, there's plenty of other ways to stay sober.
Never give up. You do have the power.
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey zalfa-
I completely agree with your advice, and I actually try to follow those same tips myself. I, too, have been able to stay the course without AA, by doing pretty much the same thing.
I think it's VERY key to remove alcohol as an option- period. Good times, bad times, times of boredom, etc... I know it's not an easy thing to do, but I do feel that once you've establish that mindset, then things will slowly get easier. I think our minds will adjust to the fact that booze will not play a part, and in time we can still go out and have fun; still be bored sometimes; still get upset, and do it all without booze.
However, I do still struggle with having the good times when I go out, without the drink, but I think that will change.
Thanks for the post!
Lusher
I completely agree with your advice, and I actually try to follow those same tips myself. I, too, have been able to stay the course without AA, by doing pretty much the same thing.
I think it's VERY key to remove alcohol as an option- period. Good times, bad times, times of boredom, etc... I know it's not an easy thing to do, but I do feel that once you've establish that mindset, then things will slowly get easier. I think our minds will adjust to the fact that booze will not play a part, and in time we can still go out and have fun; still be bored sometimes; still get upset, and do it all without booze.
However, I do still struggle with having the good times when I go out, without the drink, but I think that will change.
Thanks for the post!
Lusher
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Thanks for posting your success, Zalfa, your message is powerful and inspiring. I choose to never drink again too. I became in control of my drinking by declaring that my drinking days were over and done with, something in the past, never to happen again. No matter what. Alcoholism? Not any more, and not ever again. I removed alcohol as an option by quitting forever too.
Congratulations to you on your 2 3/4 years of sobriety. Onward!
Congratulations to you on your 2 3/4 years of sobriety. Onward!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 222
Originally Posted by Lusher 
I think it's VERY key to remove alcohol as an option- period. Good times, bad times, times of boredom, etc... I know it's not an easy thing to do, but I do feel that once you've establish that mindset, then things will slowly get easier. I think our minds will adjust to the fact that booze will not play a part, and in time we can still go out and have fun; still be bored sometimes; still get upset, and do it all without booze.
However, I do still struggle with having the good times when I go out, without the drink, but I think that will change.
Thanks for the post!
Lusher
However, I do still struggle with having the good times when I go out, without the drink, but I think that will change.
Thanks for the post!
Lusher
Yeah, fully accepting that its no longer an option is key in my opinion (as obvious as that sounds).
I have gone out (nightlife-I dont want my sobriety to be contingent on completely avoiding it) occasionally since getting sober, and yeah its difficult to have as much "fun" without the lowered inhibitions and last night I was definitely experiencing some urges. However I got through it fine and certainly didnt regret not drinking when I woke up this morning.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 174
"6. The brain automatically associates good memories with drinking. You have to change the way you think. Instead of thinking of the good times, think about the bad times. I use the fear of delirium tremens, along with other bad memories, to keep me sober."
this was a big one for me. Its so true. Remembering the negatives will always bring you back to the reality of drinking.
Great post thanks.
this was a big one for me. Its so true. Remembering the negatives will always bring you back to the reality of drinking.
Great post thanks.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
i know i went 15 years sober without going to aa i had been to aa and left after about 3 years as it just wasnt for me
15 years later my life was great i had my own small business, a wife with 5 kids, a home, and a lot of money in my bank
so all in all i had everything that could be classed as a sucess
guess what i did ?
after 15 years and believing i could stay sober with ease without aa or any other sort of recovery i drank again
8 years later after picking up that first drink again
i ended up with my kids in social services care as both myself and my ex wife were 24 / 7 drunks unfit to look after our kids
my business had long gone, all my money had gone, my home had gone
i ended up going to prison my life just crashed down
i ended up in a flat that was given to me by a chartiy that tried to help people who have drink or drug problems and have come out of prison
its there way to try to give them a fresh start in life
but i still carried on drinking the flat ended up like a pigsty i was just a hopeless 24/ 7 drunk who was going to end up out on the streets
how did i lose so much ? how did my life end up like it did ?
can anyone see the mistake i made ?
i know i can now but today i have been sober for 10 years and i have my kids back and have a home again and a job and some money again
all because i went back to aa and this time i am sticking to aa without leaving as i have learned a hard lesson for me and it cost me so much and cost my loved ones so much hurt and pain
i have been given another chance to turn my life around hence i know where i belong
i wish you well on being sober for the years you have so far but like i shown i went 15 years sober on my own but in the end it got me again
my story is just one of many thousands who ended up paying a huge price for there drinking
and only aa for me has all the answers for my problem and the help that i need and still need today 10 years on
i will never have this cracked is what i believe based on my own life experiences
so good luck to you and i hope for you things go driffernt
15 years later my life was great i had my own small business, a wife with 5 kids, a home, and a lot of money in my bank
so all in all i had everything that could be classed as a sucess
guess what i did ?
after 15 years and believing i could stay sober with ease without aa or any other sort of recovery i drank again
8 years later after picking up that first drink again
i ended up with my kids in social services care as both myself and my ex wife were 24 / 7 drunks unfit to look after our kids
my business had long gone, all my money had gone, my home had gone
i ended up going to prison my life just crashed down
i ended up in a flat that was given to me by a chartiy that tried to help people who have drink or drug problems and have come out of prison
its there way to try to give them a fresh start in life
but i still carried on drinking the flat ended up like a pigsty i was just a hopeless 24/ 7 drunk who was going to end up out on the streets
how did i lose so much ? how did my life end up like it did ?
can anyone see the mistake i made ?
i know i can now but today i have been sober for 10 years and i have my kids back and have a home again and a job and some money again
all because i went back to aa and this time i am sticking to aa without leaving as i have learned a hard lesson for me and it cost me so much and cost my loved ones so much hurt and pain
i have been given another chance to turn my life around hence i know where i belong
i wish you well on being sober for the years you have so far but like i shown i went 15 years sober on my own but in the end it got me again
my story is just one of many thousands who ended up paying a huge price for there drinking
and only aa for me has all the answers for my problem and the help that i need and still need today 10 years on
i will never have this cracked is what i believe based on my own life experiences
so good luck to you and i hope for you things go driffernt
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
I'm working a recovery program of my own also which does not involve AA
It can be done if you are committed to sobriety and educate yourself about addiction.
For some, as despyte says, AA is the key.
For others, it is not and never will be.
We don't all have to fit in a single mold to stop drinking for good.
Thanks to the OP for sharing another valuable perspective on getting and staying sober
It can be done if you are committed to sobriety and educate yourself about addiction.
For some, as despyte says, AA is the key.
For others, it is not and never will be.
We don't all have to fit in a single mold to stop drinking for good.
Thanks to the OP for sharing another valuable perspective on getting and staying sober
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 812
Congratulations on your sobriety.
I got sober in AA. Not to slight your sobriety or your post, but it honestly sounds like a lot more work and not much fun. After reading it, I couldn't help but feel grateful for my sobriety, which does not depend on fear, white-knuckling, and avoidance.
But if it works for you ... power to ya.
I got sober in AA. Not to slight your sobriety or your post, but it honestly sounds like a lot more work and not much fun. After reading it, I couldn't help but feel grateful for my sobriety, which does not depend on fear, white-knuckling, and avoidance.
But if it works for you ... power to ya.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Zalfa, FANTASTIC, insightful thread. What I've done more than anything else is suffer through the cravings and tuff it out, 4 years 5 months sober here. Merry Christmas, rootin for ya. 
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Glad your here, and congratulations on being sober today!!
I am curious however, why you choose to post I did it without AA? Why did you single out the one program of recovery directly and not others........ In other words, why isn't the thread - I did it on my own! Leaving out any mention of AA or other programs???
Happy for your success, not trying to stir up anything - but I am curious.
Kind Regards,
FlyN
I am curious however, why you choose to post I did it without AA? Why did you single out the one program of recovery directly and not others........ In other words, why isn't the thread - I did it on my own! Leaving out any mention of AA or other programs???
Happy for your success, not trying to stir up anything - but I am curious.
Kind Regards,
FlyN
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 297
Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000
I do hope you do come back from time to time and check in again.
Best advice I can give someone new to recovery it's called alcoholism and not alcoholwasem.
Best advice I can give someone new to recovery it's called alcoholism and not alcoholwasem.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
Kewlio
Way ta go, Zalfa!
I opted for the same Methodology as you; precisely because it's relative easy, and within the control of a Person who believes in themselves. It is much less work, depending on one's Character.
Don't pick up. Period. Check in here as often as req'd. Face challenges as the re-Trained Me is ready for them. Live a Recovered Life instead of a perpetually-Recovering Life. I bump into Self-Recovered types everywhere.
Yogis, as well as Harry Houdini, have used only their Minds to slow down even their Heart Rates to ~30 BPM. This is how Houdini bought himself time to pick Locks underwater, and perform other Stunts that easily could have killed him. If Houdini could do that, I can effortlessly not pick up that first one. And, I simply don't.
The Mind - and Personal Resolve - are amazing things!
I opted for the same Methodology as you; precisely because it's relative easy, and within the control of a Person who believes in themselves. It is much less work, depending on one's Character.
Don't pick up. Period. Check in here as often as req'd. Face challenges as the re-Trained Me is ready for them. Live a Recovered Life instead of a perpetually-Recovering Life. I bump into Self-Recovered types everywhere.
Yogis, as well as Harry Houdini, have used only their Minds to slow down even their Heart Rates to ~30 BPM. This is how Houdini bought himself time to pick Locks underwater, and perform other Stunts that easily could have killed him. If Houdini could do that, I can effortlessly not pick up that first one. And, I simply don't.
The Mind - and Personal Resolve - are amazing things!
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