IOAA2

Hi. I feel this site has helped many who came in need but let’s face it there are tens of Millions with alcohol and alcoholic problems and most don’t come here or AA. I can go to AA conferences that have thousands of sober people in attendance or many of the thousands of daily meetings in the US alone and count sober people. But that overall small number proves nothing as many can go out and drink later today.
The problem is many of the people left to our own devices will often slide back into the misery we came from. Heck I can as well after +30 years sober and without a desire to drink for many years.
I use the program for insurance so I won’t relapse. It’s also a nice feeling to get calls on the voice mail wondering if things are ok and if I need any sort of help after not showing up at any meetings for 4-6 days. Haven’t heard of that happening with on line forums much.
Both have benefits when we use them and don’t drink.
I repeat that there is a difference between an alcoholic and a heavy drinker, one is not addicted to alcohol and has a much easier time just stopping.
JMO

BE WELL

CodeJob

Growing up i encountered a good number of recovered As. Back then rehab was not really an option for most people. The attitude I learned about AA was head in if you are active, but don't waste your life smoking and drinking bad coffee if you are on a good patch of sobriety. Go out and live your life. I think this attitude where I grew up is due to the fact these people had a lifelong spiritual faith to rely on and incorporated their sobriety into their faith practice.

There's a certain way these people decline alcohol. You can hear it in their voice. They are out there.

The key in my opinion is filling that spiritual hole. AA works, church can work, a life of good works, etc. It takes time. This is not an overnight conversion in my opinion.

A.A. History -- Dr. Carl Jung's Letter To Bill Wilson, Jan 30, 1961

Hawkeye13

I'm not an AA person either--I think I quit successfully because I was ready to.

I like being alone and am not a group person, so I "made" my own recovery program
by reading some books, attending to my physical and emotional health, getting in touch with my spiritual side, and most recently by reading and posting on this list.

I don't "broadcast" my recovery in my daily life because I don't feel the need.
I do try to support people who seek out this list as they are self-selecting reading here which suggests to me they are impacted by alcohol at some level, however you label it.

Many roads do lead to Rome, Mecca, or Sobriety it seems . . .

readerbaby71

It is very possible to get sober without AA. I do think it's important to have support and do some real work on yourself though. I found sobriety through the Women for Sobriety program, therapy, reading, SR, and finding my spiritual path through Buddhism. I removed toxic people and situations from my life. I made up my mind to try and live a positive life. Did I want to be a miserable drunk or at least try to be happy? It's not always easy regardless of which program works for you.

It is best to focus on you right now. You cannot control what he does or the outcome of this. I also suggest the CRAFT book that is being studied in the Secular F&F section. It has helped me so much in dealing with my BF's alcoholism. Good luck and HUGS to you.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-families.html

readerbaby71

You have met some sober people on this site who don't use AA, no? Dee74 is one of them. Many people who are sober do not feel the need to broadcast it. They are living their lives and you have no idea what kind of program they are working behind the scenes. Some people consider sobriety to be a very personal thing and nobody's business but their own. There's no one "right" way to get and stay sober.

AA works for many people but just does not resonate with some. That doesn't mean it's impossible to stay sober without it. That's the kind of rigid thinking that turns people off of the program.

airwick

Who cares how people get sober-or remain sober! They got there, that is the important thing right?

Expressing different views is healthy, but the constant debate is pointless.

anattaboy

In a perfect world the title of this thread would not garner the attention it has. Continued abstinence is the goal and we would all like to see the numbers go up. Some will continue to do it silently and we will never get an accurate count.

SixStringZen

1 month away from 5 years, no slips, no AA...though, I have read the Big Book cover to cover, and incorporate much of the 12 steps into daily life...I've never been to a meeting, and don't consider myself a "12 stepper"...G-d bless those who are, however

neferkamichael

Kboys, it is a myth that you need AA or any kinda program to stay sober long time. Just do your best to support him and understand he's the one that has to do it, rootin for ya.

LBrain

thanks for that rose guy. you are correct sir!

DoPerdition

I tried AA. In our area they make absolutely no effort to separate the "higher power" from the Christian idea of "God". They said the Lord's Prayer right at the meeting. This immediately made me feel uncomfortable. People told me that AA doesn't force these ideals on their members but I would have literally been the only one sitting the Lord's Prayer out in the whole room.

Being forced to participate in a religion I don't believe in was something that happened all of my childhood. It was forced on me by an abusive grandfather and is a huge trigger for my drinking.

My situation was unique though. But I left the meetings really wanting to drink instead of feeling reflective or calm.

uncle holmes

I didn't realize there were this many people staying sober without AA until I joined this forum. So certainly it is possible to have long term sobriety without AA.

But lets look at some of the advantages that AA has to offer.

1. It's financially cheap. For a program that offers a solution to a baffling illness, disease, malady, or whatever you want to call it, it won't break the bank. If you have a dollar or two to put in the basket at a meeting, fine. If not, that's okay too.

2. Right off the bat when you walk into a meeting, you're surrounded by people who have the same problem as you.

3. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. They do not judge on who you are, what you did, what your occupation is...ect...

4. Motivation. This is a key component. When you go to a meeting, you're no longer alone. You're with live people that you can actually talk to, face to face, who have the same goal as you do. That is to stay sober.

5. Attitude. Assuming the person wants to get and stay sober, the chances of not slipping into a bad attitude are greater when a person goes to AA. At AA meetings, it's sort of an unwritten code to have attitude adjustments when needed in order to be happy and have a peace of mind in sobriety.

6. The right source. In my opinion, as well as most professionals in the field of alcoholism, the odds of getting and staying sober are greater when the problem drinker/alcoholic goes to AA meetings.

These are just some of the advantages that I see AA has to offer.