violetflame

I cannot drink anymore. Last night I had 4 glasses of wine. I woke up in the middle of the night and could not go back to sleep. I cannot continue this way. I was drinking on top of my low dose antipsychotic meds prescribed to me for bipolar type 2 disorder. I saw a new psychiatrist yesterday and he took me off of all antipsychotic meds and left me only on my antidepressant and prescribed valium and a sleep aid. Of course none of this new treatment is going to work if I keep drinking on top of it. I am swearing off wine from now on. I cannot stand the horrible anxiety I feel today. I really need help. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am bloated and very overweight due to the wine and the huge appetite it gives me afterwards. I will not drink today no matter what. I have said this many times but I definately feel this time is it. I am sick and tired of feeling this way. I want to be able to live a normal and happy life without alcohol! And get my anxiety and depression in check.

Gilmer

That's good, Violet. Post on here whenever you are tempted to break down and drink. People will talk you down. Seek help before you drink! That's the secret.

Soberwolf

Good luck violetflame have you got a plan

Acceptance was key for me

zjw

Lucky for you if you quit drinking the anxiety and depression eases up in time. For some its quick for others it takes longer but 9 times out of 10 it seems it really helps to quit.

I quit because I had horrible anxiety and panic. i had trouble breatheing most of the day it was so bad. I walked around with a lump in my throat of worry all the time.

In those early days and even now if i wanted to drink I had to ask myself do i want bad anxiety and panic? Do i want all the other bad stuff that goes along with it. well no of course I didnt. But did i wanna get drunk? Absolutly i did. But its impossible to have one without the other.

I love cake but I'm the type where it will make me fat. Its just not for me. I had to find other hobbies and such. its ok theres nothing wrong with you your just have a drinking problem no big deal its just something you have to keep in check.

worry about today and getting through today. when you wake up each day from being sober the day before and you feel just a hair better let htat encourage you to try it for another day etc..

Ghostlight1

I'm bipolar also. I finally stopped drinking when I received psychiatric help.
Drinking on top of the meds was only making things worse.
It's very dangerous to drink on top of Valium. So, there's a good reason to quit.
After I quit, and I was a heavy drinker, things vastly improved. I wish the same for you. Stop and let the meds do their work. Best to you.

Wastinglife

I can relate Violet. As my alcohol abuse progressed, I was in a constant battle with depression and anxiety. The only relief I got was more alcohol. What I didn't realize at the time was that the alcohol was the primary cause of my mood disorder. I went on anti-depressants thinking that would solve everything. However, I was still drinking. The AD's never really had a chance to work.

When I stopped drinking completely, the depression and anxiety I had been tormented by for 5 years disappeared. I went to rehab for 35 days and by the time I got out, my whole outlook on life had changed. It was really my brain just functioning normally the way it was supposed to without constantly being soaked in booze.

Stop the drinking. I am certain you will see a huge improvement in your mood.

fini

violet,
yes, you've said this many times

okay, you will not drink today, no matter what.
what will you be doing?

it might be real helpful to figure out and plan what to do instead of just focusing on what you WON'T do.

Lusher

Hey violetflame-

Have you put together any type of a no-drinking plan? It might make it easier if you have a plan in place, rather than simply cutting out alcohol, and living the same exact lifestyle. This might include some new activities to take place of the drinking time. Perhaps start some type of a fitness routine? I have found that to be a big help when trying to stop with the booze.

Remember what you've quoted each day and respect what it means. If you commit yourself fully, I think you'll feel better soon.

I do wish you well.


Lusher

EndGameNYC

Hi VF.

I'm not a medical doctor and I don't know your history. I also don't know whether or not you've told your doctor about your drinking. But I am fluent in psychopharmacology. Based on what your doctor has prescribed, it seems that you either haven't told your doctor about the full extent of your drinking, or that he/she is unaccountably unaware of the dangers of drinking while on Valium, an extremely addictive drug with serious withdrawal symptoms. It may help to provide full disclosure (if you haven't already) and/or see another doctor who has experience with alcoholism.

violetflame

Thank you all. I appreciate your help. I don't plan to be doing much today because I am exhausted from not sleeping last night. I also did not realize how dangerous it was to drink on top of Valium. So that will be an even bigger reason to abstain. My plan is to start working out and going out and socializing more. I was big on just staying home and drinking alone like a loser. No more. I really want to give myself a chance and I cannot do this if I continue to drink. I will be posting on here often. Its like someone said in one of the above posts. If I want anxiety and depression all I have to do it drink and it will surely be the result. And I want to stabilize and get better. Therefore I cannot drink.

daisy1

Good luck, today is my first day so I will be watching out for your posts xx

xpander76

Now is my first day! I was going to start Monday, but lovely people on here said why wait?

Let's really do this!

Sending you lots of love and support.

Xxx

Dee74

Use everything you have Violet - use this website...and think about wjat other support is out there for you.

Fight this with everything you have - you're worth it.

D

Dee74

Use everything you have Violet - use this website...and think about what other kinds of support are out there for you.

Fight this with everything you have - you're worth it.

D

tes

Hello. I am no doctor either, however I also suffer from paralyzing anxiety and depression, anxiety being the worst though. I also have terrible insomnia. If the dr gave you valium, use it for the anxiety instead of drinking. Even if you slip, it shouldn't hurt you to take it the day after. I have taken it myself before. However, I would not become too dependant on them as they are very addicting, as all benzos are. If you find that they don't work ask your dr to switch you to something similar like Ativan. It is similar to klonopin which I take but not quite as strong I think. Any anti depressant wont work if you drink on them. I used to drink every night, take ambien on top of that, and taking klonopin and paxil every morning. That caused a lot of problems so I would not recommend it. The benzo will help you with the anxiety, but I would not take it for more than a few months. Believe me, it is a nightmare to stop after taking it daily for over a year or so.

Hevyn

I've been there too Violet. Felt just the same before I quit. I knew I couldn't continue pretending I had any control - or that I'd ever enjoy it again. We're glad you're here to talk things over.

least

I hope this can be your last day one.

Wendolene

Hi Violet,

I hope that you find relief soon. I can really sympathise, being an anxiety sufferer myself. Saying goodbye to alcohol when you feel like it's an escape from your symptoms is scary, but it does get easier in time, trust me. I've had a couple of 'slips' this year (the last one being just under a month ago on my 30th birthday), and goodness, the anxiety I felt the following morning was intense. I was also very sick, I think partly due to an interaction with my medication, as I didn't get drunk or anything, which just intensified my panic, as I feared there was something seriously wrong with me. It was like I was experiencing a flash-back to my formerly terrifying life experience. By the evening, I felt so much better, and vowed not to drink at the party I had planned a few days later. I decided that moderation did not seem to work for me, either.

Last year, after a bad experience with antidepressants (just one particular class of them) and strongly believing that drinking was the only thing that could help, I shunned medication entirely, just so I could get my daily 'fix'. For such a long time, I didn't realise that the alcohol was making my anxiety worse, lost all hope and quickly spiralled. This time around, it was a no brainer. I'd take my medication as prescribed over the alcohol any day. I actually had a lovely, alcohol-free birthday weekend with a few close friends, and only one drank anyway (and just a glass of wine at the murder mystery party at that!).

I would concur with tes about the addictive nature of benzos, though. It is not my primary medication, but what started out as a secondary 'as needed' aid to my anxiety, ended up being a daily thing, and I have strictly rationed prescriptions at a very low dosage. I tried to come off them entirely in July, but only managed three weeks before I was back on them. I'm not trying to scare you or anything - this is just my own personal experience, and I'm sure you are in safe hands with your doctor.

I wish you the best of luck. It sounds to me like you are a very sensible person who knows what they need to do. Don't think of it as a 'sentence', think of it as the start of an amazing, sober adventure and the beginning of a new, hopefully anxiety and depression-free chapter in your life.