Sudz No More

So a few days ago I had a routine cleaning at the Dentist and every so often they will ask you to fill out a new medical information sheet. When I was checking off my answers I came across the one that asks if you have Alcoholism. The last time I filled this sheet I checked yes and I sat there and pondered the question this time. After a moment, with full clarity I thought
"Heck No!" This ailment no longer afflicts me, it is more and more becoming a distant part of what I once was and at that moment I felt so far away from it I just didn't deem it relevant as information they needed so I checked "No"

The same week just a few days earlier I had a spirited discussion with a good friend and co-worker about drinks, it started about whether mixing two different types was good or bad. By the end of the five minute discussion I realized I hadn't thought impulsively about alcohol at all the entire conversation. It was a good feeling to realize I have gone far enough away from the habit that it no longer has this big hold over my conscience like it used to.

I of course remain guarded and don't plan on ever forgetting where I have been it is just nice to feel free from it even in the depths of my mind. It has been a long climb out by I have finally emerged on the other side of the tunnel.

freshstart57

Do you have alcoholism? Wait a minute, lemme check. Nope! No alcoholism here! What a relief it is to know that is firmly in the past, and never again. Free! Those realizations and confirmations are unexpected and most welcome gifts, to be savored and shared. Thanks, Sudz.

BackToSquareOne

I think the biggest shift in perception I had was in seeing thru the illusion that alcohol actually had some real purpose in my life. The true truth was that it almost always only made things worse. At best it could only sedate me and lift my spirits for a short period of time. It had a very strange quality tho, it wore off and all the good feelings shape shifted into the hell on earth nightmare of detox and withdrawal.

Gottalife

Why would a dentist ask such a question? It wouldn't have anything to do with various chemicals and medications they use would it? They wouldn't be trying to avoid any risk to a patient who might react badly to alcohol?

Sudz No More

The list is long and many Doctors here use it. It has just about everything on there, known allergies and problems you have had such as cancer or diabetes. Fortunately for me I can answer no on almost all of them. Now I can check one less

Boleo

I like to say "I no longer suffer from alcoholism".

Do I still have the bodily organs of an alcoholic? You bet - That will never change. THIQ never goes away.

I always tell my doctor that I can't have any prescriptions that might be addictive.

Aellyce

Inspiring thread. I'm far from being at that stage with my recovery from alcoholism, but I am familiar with the feeling regarding other addictive behaviors I had in the past. I suffered from eating disorders in my teens and early 20's and it wasn't an easy ride to recover from them, I did it completely on my own. I still remember vividly the day, about 15 years ago, when I realized it was over, and really over, no need to be afraid or think about it anymore. And about my old addictive relationship, which was also a hard journey.

It is indeed extremely liberating to know when these things are truly over and do not present a threat anymore, after a long "recovery" period. I guess the liberation here at that point is mostly from fear - the best thing on Earth I hope to get there someday with the alcoholism as well and now will really try my best to not have any new addictions anymore.

Great job, Sudz, and thanks for the post

RDBplus3

Great post, SudzNoMore.
I agree with Boleo - I now realize that I have the condition that is referred to as 'Alcoholism', as explained in the AA Big Book. I fully believe that not all people that have a drinking problem are Alcoholics; many can self-regulate and/or moderate, or quit drinking altogether if they believe they need to. For myself, my mind and body have 'crossed the line' into a condition so that if I consume any amount of alcohol, my mind and body inherently craves more, and at that point I have little or no control over how much I will drink. Then, after I do stop, my mind and body will have the obsession for more alcohol until I drink again, setting up the uncontrollable cycle that inevitably leads to the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization described in the AA Big Book.

For me, I am now Sober & FREE, and I know from repeated cycles of drinking, that I can never safely drink again. Also, now that I am Free from the addictive obsession and craving, I can see NO benefit to placing myself in that cycle ever again.

RDBplus3...Sober & FREE

Soberwolf

First off well done Sudz

I know if i had a drink id be in big trouble.....If that ever goes away i would say im not Alcoholic

But that is never going to go away

Well done on your sobriety Sudz

zjw

good job. I hope i get to that point. I passed the liquor store last night and didnt have my usual fantasy or wonder what might be on sale etc.. Lots of times for me its like ho hum therse the beer store and it does not phase me much I might think back to all the pain and misery it caused me. I might think gee I wonder if the sam adams winter lager is out yet or soemthing to that affect. I might even thing man it'd be nice to have this one or that one. But my thoughts always end with those days are done for me. I cant do that anymore.

I do better when im around it once in a blue moon. it doesnt really phase me disgusts me if anything. where as in the beginning i'd be twitchen i wanted a drink so bad. So i've made a lot of progress.

I had to pick food up in a bar one night in early sobriety I came home told my wife /never again/ shes like what hwat. I said I had to wait and while i waited i smelled the cigarettes the booze I saw all the smiles on everyones faces as they ahd a good time and I saw the draft beers being dispensed into the frosty mugs. I dunno how i made it out of there alive i was twitchen the whole time.

In hindsite it was no big deal but i learned real quick simply walking into a bar like that for me at that time anyhow was not a wise idea. I have no reason to do it now I'll just order food from somewhere else.

Gottalife

That's what I am driving at. An allergy to penicillin can have serious consequences if penicillin is prescribed, hence the question. Same goes for an allergy to alcohol. Many mouth washes have alcohol in significant quantities. Is it enough to trigger the craving? I wouldn't want to find out.

The big book suggests that at certain times the alcoholic can be without an effective defence against the first drink. I would suggest your answer has removed a useful defence.