Working on leaving
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 78
Working on leaving
Well, I have been trying to leave for a long time... still. I have been up and down over these last years but I'm proud of myself for staying in the mindset of leaving for the past 5 months. The problem is that I have some things that cripple my efforts and the longer that time passes then I get cold feet and think that I can't make it. But at least I'm growing stronger.
I guess I just wanted to know what others thought about things that are going on. He is hiding alcohol in the house now, which I can't even believe I'm writing because I just can't even believe that he's drinking since his father's such an alcoholic. But I guess that's how he's choosing to cope with my wanting to end things with him.
I have also been forthright about wanting to not be together anymore and he has told me that he will never divorce me and that he won't let me go. I have told him point blank the things that bother me about him and why I do not want to live with him anymore and still he tells me very calmly, "You need to stop acting like this and work on us so we can move on in our relationship."
I repeatedly answer his questions with "I do not want to be with you" and it's almost as though he's deaf to what I say.
Are there others who have had someone just simply push their desires to leave to the side? I feel as though I am being direct but he's not even hearing me. I plan to send the papers to him in January because I should have enough money to pay the lawyer by then but he's just so... seemingly convinced that I need to give up my 'ridiculous' notions to leave because he's decided that I'm not going anywhere.
I don't feel like I have a reason to be scared of him but his calm 'you are staying married to me' leaves me feeling very uncomfortable. I guess I just assumed that given that our daily life is so unhealthy and full of tension that at some point he'd agree with me and say 'yes' to ending our relationship but that's definitely not the case.
I guess I just wanted to know what others thought about things that are going on. He is hiding alcohol in the house now, which I can't even believe I'm writing because I just can't even believe that he's drinking since his father's such an alcoholic. But I guess that's how he's choosing to cope with my wanting to end things with him.
I have also been forthright about wanting to not be together anymore and he has told me that he will never divorce me and that he won't let me go. I have told him point blank the things that bother me about him and why I do not want to live with him anymore and still he tells me very calmly, "You need to stop acting like this and work on us so we can move on in our relationship."
I repeatedly answer his questions with "I do not want to be with you" and it's almost as though he's deaf to what I say.
Are there others who have had someone just simply push their desires to leave to the side? I feel as though I am being direct but he's not even hearing me. I plan to send the papers to him in January because I should have enough money to pay the lawyer by then but he's just so... seemingly convinced that I need to give up my 'ridiculous' notions to leave because he's decided that I'm not going anywhere.
I don't feel like I have a reason to be scared of him but his calm 'you are staying married to me' leaves me feeling very uncomfortable. I guess I just assumed that given that our daily life is so unhealthy and full of tension that at some point he'd agree with me and say 'yes' to ending our relationship but that's definitely not the case.
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