Soberintexas007

Although I had been sober for several years, I started drinking again the past few months. What a mistake to pick up that first drink! I have been binge drinking on pretty much a daily basis. I get home from work and then drink 8-10 beers, smoke some pot, eat a lot, and then pass out. I then wake up in the middle of the night feeling absolutely horrible - hot and sweaty with intense anxiety. I then have to sit with this anxiety while I can't sleep for about six hours before I am able to get a couple of hours of sleep before work. I am then obviously tired at work, and then I resume this same pattern that night. While in that anxious state, I tell myself I will not do this again, only to feel better that night and do it again. I have been going to AA meetings here and there. I was tempted to once again drink tonight, but I didn't. It makes no sense to me why I would even think about drinking when I have to endure that torture that night. Well, today is Day 1, and my solution which I heard at a meeting today is this - don't drink in between meetings. If I go to more meetings at night when I am feeling vulnerable, I know that I will have a greater likelihood of staying sober. So, I feel powerless over this addiction when I don't go to meetings, but I feel more powerful over this disease if I can just go to meetings. I have so much to lose, as I have put in a lot of studying and work into my career. Going to meetings are my answer at the time.

Dee74

Congrats on day one - sounds like the making of a good support plan there justbreathe

D

Treerat66

Congratulations on day 1

RecklessEric

Hi Justbreathe.
Good job on day 1.
You will know yourself that after a few days, you should start to feel better.
That torturous cycle is so horrible.
Best of luck.

huntingtontx

Good job on day one. Sounds like you have a good plan in place.

Soberwolf

Well done Congratulations

biminiblue

Well, you did it before. Remember how great it was?!

Meetings helped me in the early days. There was always a nugget of wisdom in every meeting.

Ionray

Congratulations. I suggest you bookmark this post and refer back to it in the future when your AV is telling you its okay to have "just one".

PurpleKnight

Great stuff!! Keep it going!!

Soberintexas007

Well I ended up relapsing a couple days after my post. I got complacent and my AV took over. It's going to be a challenge since my husband drinks a lot, but I love him and plan on staying with him. I am trying to communicate with him more about my recovery, and if he can cut back a little. I think he can respect this. Just got to keep on trying. 12 more minutes until Day 1 is over. Ate a lot today which helped with any cravings. Will be going to an AA meeting tomorrow and was able to talk with someone over the phone today about my recovery. I notice that when I feel stressed out about something, I feel an urge to drink to escape the mental anguish of that emotional trigger. I am going to practice letting go more often and not trying to control everything. I am a total control freak, and this can cause me problems. Just need to work on breathing and letting go more often. It's difficult though dealing with my inlaws. A lot of my worry stems from me disagreeing with how they may want to do things. I guess I am lucky that I have a very supportive husband, but then I feel guilty as if I am always getting my way.

TheWho

congratulations on your day 1. keep them counting. i'm beginning to count days myself.

Soberintexas007

Almost done with Day 2. Went to a meeting today with my husband, and it went really well. He is going to try and cut down to 2 beers, so that would be great if he can do that.