VikingGF

I am trying to remember, back before I made the commitment to sobriety, what my reaction would have been to someone in recovery extending a hand to me. Today, I did that, after a friend actually spent the night in jail after a DUI. (This on it's own is mind-blowing to me.) After all the drama was settled, I texted, "Please call me if you want to make a change- I did." No pressure, no guilt. No expectation from me. The response was, "No thank u."

I get that he's either in denial still, or just not ready to make a change. But I hope that offer stays in the forefront of his mind.

Do you think my offer was appropriately made?

ru12

I think you did a compassionate thing. Perhaps you planted a seed.

choosingsober

I think you are a good friend. Offering to help and caring is not a bad thing. He may not realize he has a problem yet and is not ready to make a change, It took a while for me to get the message. Keep being a friend and supportive,

mercurial me

Your heart was in the right place, he just may have been overwhelmed with consequences today. Good on you though

Dee74

I think it was a warm caring and compassionate thing to do VGF - whether he takes you up on the offer or not

D

Rina

You extended your help to a friend in a crappy situation. Everyone responds differently. I know going through my DUI, I was more apt at the beginning, to feel ashamed to reach out for help from friends. Since I have been sober almost 5 months now, I am able to be honest and reach out to friends who offered help at the beginning. He knows you are there.

leviathan

yep. you did the right thing. if the friend spins out, he now has a liferaft. I had offers WAY before I was ready. never held it against anyone.

gleefan

I think it was a kind and generous offer, appropriately made. Your friend may not take you up on it now, or a year from now, or two years from now, but the offer is there, and if and when he decides to make a change, he knows he can call on you.

VikingGF

Thanks, all. It seems he is completely playing the victim, taking no responsibility. No remorse, no shame. He's not ready. I can wait. Hope he wakes up before he loses himself, or his family. But, I did what I can for now, I can only control my own path.

Hawks

You did the right thing, it didn't bare fruit this time but you never know.

"Everyone has their sack of rocks.".... Looks like your friend is getting a few ready to drop on his own head.

Maybe when enough have been dropped they will be in enough pain to come back and ask for your help.

Stay tuned for more

Soberwolf

Viking i think your awesome for reaching out to help another

you are amazing for that