birdygal78

Strange... I came on here looking for help, and this thread was the first thing I saw, and it was exactly what I was looking for.

I have 45 days sober, but this is probably my 7, 8, or 9th try in the past year to get and stay sober. My longest period of sobriety was 5 months, and I thought I was doing great, but I lost it easier than I thought I ever could have. I was so proud of those 5 months.

Now, getting through the first month is the easiest thing, but then the denial starts to hit. I keep telling myself that this is dumb, and I can drink if I want to. Am I missing something, like an important step in staying sober?

Carver

I have no idea. I'm coming up to four months, and it's mostly running smoothly I think. But I will be tested at some point, even a year or ten years from now.

I'm happy being sober, happier than I've ever been. Somebody could offer me a drink right now and I wouldn't have any problems turning it down with a smile.

But at certain points, The AV gets a good grip on my mind. I think it's running as smoothly as it ever will.

Carver

Maybe try Urge Surfing? I know that quitting is easy, it's staying stopped that is the tricky part. Welcome 45 days is excellent work x

Gottalife

Maybe missing more than one important step. It took me twelve.

Marylynn123456

It was never smooth the whole time in AA. I had good moments and a certain period of happiness and then my life turned upside down with all kinds of losses and tragedy and one day it became too much and I relapsed first on painkillers managed to stay without drinking for 6 and a half years through much suffering. It's easy to stay sober when life goes your way but when bad things happen one after another for well going on 5 years of hard times that's what caused me to breakdown and I had a home group that turned their back on me after I hit some rough times if I had better people around me maybe I wouldn't have relapsed. I became very bitter they wouldn't return my calls. I would cry at the meetings. They were so cold. Now I know not everyone is like this but I was just around the wrong people cause their were a few people from certain meetings that were a big help but they passed away and what a mess I just have bad luck or something. So now I can't even step foot in there cause all this anger and disappointment and sadness comes up. All I needed was for someone to listen. That's all I needed some support someone I could talk to. I still don't get why they became so cold to me when I was suffering. When I see someone upset I can't help but feel sad and want to comfort that person. I try to just hold on to those few I knew that r gone. I know not everyone is bad but I have some serious trust issues. I don't talk to anybody anymore. This is all I have right here talking to u guys and u seem like good people on here that's why I'm still here

birdygal78

I know how you feel, Mary. I thought I had a good support system, but I never hear from them, they make me feel like I'm a burden on their life, and I don't feel comfortable talking to them at all. Which sucks because, like you, all I want is someone to talk to every now and then about what I'm going through.

I'm glad you're here, and I hope you'll stick around.

DrakeCKC

At 6 months and beyond I began to see recovery taking hold. I began to see a therapist, got involved in groups and started tackling other addictive and non-productive behaviors. I have over two years now and the urge to drink is rare and easily passes.

advbike

By 8 months I was traveling and having adventures, sans alcohol. But I was still pretty messed up because I had not done any real recovery work, other than some therapy and AA meetings. I was making many changes, and I made some mistakes. Being sober was easy, doing the work and being happy was not, and actually never has been.

I have really learned a lot sbout my disease since then, as sobriety uncovered many of the early wounds that led me to self medicate. Life is better, I'm more at peace, and I accept myself more fully. Yet I clearly still have work to do on my recovery. There will probably always be work to do on this.

birdygal78

I keep hearing people talk about "doing the work"... what is the work?

Berrybean

The 12 Step Work if doing AA (or another 12-step programme) or just the general work on your recovery depending on your own sobriety plan I suppose .

Mountainmanbob

Honestly it started to smooth out as soon as I made a firm decision to stop drinking, although there was much wreckage of my past to clean up. Which took a very long time.

I would not wish to go back there.

Mountainman Bob

frankh77

I'm on month 25 right now.

The first year was horrible. Plain and simple. The mind games that my own mind would play on me was in the nature of a juvenile deliquent antichrist nature. Pesky, poking and prodding. My inability to focus on anything at all was absolutely exhausting. It felt like I had this film in my vision that inserted my past vices and triggers in every plane of sight. Like obnoxious product placement.

Over the second year it slowly started to dissipate and I was able to grab hold of my thinking more firmly.

I still struggle from time to time. Have those bad days where my mind tries to play tricks on me. I'd say it alleviated significantly at about 20 months for me.

birdygal78

Frankh
This is EXACTLY what I've been feeling lately! Only recently have I realized that I have a hard time focusing on my goal. I'll be good and feeling great and then all of a sudden, my mind will flip. Alcohol will start to look good, and the thought of hanging out with my friends and drinking all night on a patio seems like the best thing ever.

I always seem to forget that I don't like being drunk anymore. I keep thinking about a time when I went to dinner with friends, drank too much, and when I got in my car to leave, I literally could not find my way out of the parking lot. And I've lived in that area of town all my life. That is a feeling I never ever EVER want to experience again.

But there's just something about alcohol that keeps me wanting to come back. I don't know what that is...?

Mountainmanbob

I also could not focus properly for a very long time.
Scared and wondered if I would ever see and think straight again.
My second year was so, so much better.

Actually after a few years of being sober my glasses for distance
were not really needed anymore. I know, eyes hardly never get
better but, mine did.

Must have been some very heavy booze intake ?

MM

soberpanda

I would say I felt OK with not drinking at 6 months, however its been a bumpy ride maybe Im more aware of my behaviours now. In the beginning I had no insight into the severity of my problems.
Now im like OMG I did a stupid emotional thing AGAIN!
My life is unmanageable because Im in it!

Soberwolf

It's a good question Bob I think I said my piece before but il update : )

After a year is when things were running smoothly I'd like to say 6 months but it wasn't running smoothly I was still learning still am today

Mountainmanbob

Well as I look back now with a few sober years under my belt.

Life was smoother at around the six month.
Far from perfect but, much improved.
The wife was starting to relax a little.

A Happy Queen makes for a Happy King

Run Smoothly ?
At least a year -- if not three years.

Yes, I had beaten myself up badly those last two times out.
And also left loved ones and friends very weary of me.

MB

least

Things seemed to settle down at about 3 months, and at 6 months was feeling very good. And it just keeps getting better.

Mountainmanbob

That gives the newcomers a lot of hope.

When I was new I needed to hear good news such as that for I truly wondered if my life was ever going to get better.

I had torn it up and down and all around.
Takes time to heal the mind, body and soul.

MB

bluedog97

I only have 2.5 months but my anxiety has gone way down. I'll say, I remember a lot in the last 2.5 months. When drinking, 3 months would have gone by in a blur. Matter of fact, the entire 15 years I drank heavily went by in a blur. Time slows way down when you're not drinking.